Last week was unusually fantastic. Four undefeated teams lost, including the #1 team, and I got to have chili con queso which was fantastic. There would have been 5 undefeated teams that lost but somehow Michigan State paid off the refs and squeaked out a come from behind win at the mighty Northwestern Wildcats, who are known for their excellent sports journalism school and also being bad at sports. If you watched the Auburn/LSU game, you saw Auburn QB Carlos Newton dominate a game by basically running over defenders like they were small children trying to tackle their father in a backyard football game. If you saw that game then you also may have noticed that the commentator made the same joke I did about regardless of the outcome the tigers winning, which just goes to show how hilarious I am...
Anyway, this week has a slightly less stellar slate of games, but don't be surprised if for the third week in a row the number 1 or 2 team in the nation loses. And in the comments we get a lot of posturing for smaller schools.
Comments:
"Common (Ed. Note: is that supposed to be Come on?) man no plug for San Diego State other than the Missouri conference!?!?! We beat Air Force and realistically should be 6 - 0 if you take away the two horrible ref "no-calls" against BYU and Missouri. I'm disappointed! Otherwise good column.
Regards, Brad"
You're right, I'm not giving them much due, maybe it's because I hate small schools and small conferences (sarcasm), or maybe it's because they lost to a mighty BYU team who is 3-5 overall and 5th in the Mountain West Conference...San Diego State will certainly have a chance to prove their worthiness in the middle of November when they play TCU and Utah. Until then they'll have to hang their hat on that signature 47-0 win over Division 1-AA Nicholls State.
"Will Duquesne continue it's road dominance of Wagner in a pivotal NEC tilt? People want to know! I know it's not Lafayette-Lehigh, but still Jenkins ... You're better than that!! - Dan"
How does Duquesne feel about being included in the Northeast Conference? I would hardly call that the Northeast, if anything shouldn't they be pushing to get into a real mans league, something like the Patriot League? Speaking of which, how does it feel to lose to perennial Patriot League doormat and current 1-6 Bucknell, a school so pathetic that they have to try and goad other Patriot League teams into being their rival since they don't have a rival to call their own. I wish that I was making that up...
"If it was me, I would've eaten more sandwiches. But then again, pretty much anything makes me want to eat more sandwiches - Michael Ratcliffe"
Best/most accurate comment ever
Games:
Tennessee at #20 South Carolina:
What's the over under on the number of times it gets mentioned that the Tennessee head coach Derek Dooley compared to his team being like the Germans waiting for the allies to land at Normandy? How many signs in the South Carolina crowd are there going to be comparing him to Hitler. I wish I was making this up:
http://www.nationalfootballpost.com/Dooley-Were-like-the-Germans-in-World-War-II-9774.html
The classy thing to do here if you are a South Carolina fan would be to ignore it completely and have a poster of Dooley with some hound dog ears.
#5 Michigan State at #18 Iowa:
Michigan State is due to lose a game, so much so that I've already bet that I would eat a hat if they do not lose in the regular season. Imagine my surprise when my friend brought over a hat catalogue last weekend...delightful. The Spartans of Michigan State have relied all year on trickery and smoke and mirrors as well as a strong running game. Expect the Iowa Hawkeyes defensive front to slow down the rushing attack, which will cause Michigan State to throw the ball, which may not be such a bad thing considering QB Kirk Cousins put up 330 yards last week. Iowa will rely on Senior QB Ricky Stanzi who was excellent in last week’s 1 point loss against Wisconsin. I really want Iowa to win this, as it may be the last decent challenge on the Michigan State schedule, and I've got a certain place in my heart for not having to eat a hat.
#6 Missouri at #14 Nebraska:
Last week I vocalized how nicely the schedule sets up for the Missouri Tigers to run the table if they get past Oklahoma, and get past them they did. Now they take their high powered pass offense to Nebraska to face a Cornhuskers defense that is number three in the country in pass defense. The difference this year for Missouri from past seasons is that they are apparently playing defense now. Which sounds odd I know, like hearing that your deadbeat cousin got a job and got married and is a good father but you are always going to remember him as the guy who had to go to the hospital because he swallowed super glue and some legos when he was 15, but apparently it's true as Missouri has the 4th best defense in the country. The recipe for success against Nebraska this year is stop QB Taylor Martinez from running all over the place and win, also add a touch of salt. Missouri stops him and they win, they fail to stop him and their dreams of an undefeated season go out the window like Charlie Sheen's pride. I'll take Nebraska at home.
#2 Oregon at University of Southern California:
I can't decide if the Oregon Ducks are really really good, or if they are playing people on weeks when they are down. This game will confirm which one of those is the correct answer. Oregon's offense moves fast and lives large, like me in an all you can eat buffet. And nobody can question their stance on kicking butt, they have really crushed everyone they played this year even Stanford, who were close and then eventually couldn't keep up the pace. USC has had two weeks to plan for Oregon, and QB Matt Barkley will have success throwing the ball. The USC defense will probably be able to hang with Oregon for a bit, but again to bring back the all you can eat buffet comparison, like me they can only do that for so long before they get full and fall asleep and have to be embarrassingly escorted out of the buffet by the manager. I think if anyone is going to beat Oregon this year it will be USC, and the Trojans would love to spoil the fun since they aren't allowed in the post-season. I expect this game to play out much like the Stanford-Oregon game, close for 3 quarters, unclose for the last.
Have a great weekend. (Note: there was not one Halloween joke in this entire thing, deal with it)
Thursday, October 28, 2010
Thursday, October 21, 2010
College Football Weekend 23 October
As my plumber said, "I’ll take a crack at this." As always if you know anyone else who’d like to receive this e-mail let me know, and likewise if you are tired of spam from me by all means let me know.
We’re midway through the college football season, and it looks like there’s a very real chance we’ll see a team from a smaller conference, most likely Boise State, in the National Championship. The reasons, like the amount of chicken I had for lunch yesterday, are substantial (note: I almost went for a fat girl joke there but resisted because I’m too classy to make fun of large broads):
First of all there is a lack of real depth at the top of the major conferences. Oregon is a good team, but they aren’t clear cut above the rest of the country. Alabama looked unstoppable but the combination of luck and bad referee eyesight had them lose at South Carolina. I think Auburn and LSU will both pick up more than one loss in the next couple weeks, I think the three undefeated teams in the Big 12 are not up to the challenge, maybe Oklahoma sneaks through to the National Title game, but they could also lose this week at Missouri, who is also a team with major flaws. The ACC and the Big East are terrible in terms of the national title, so I will continue to believe they don’t exist. And as for the Big Ten, who knows what team is going to win that sissy slap fight, I will eat a hat and send everyone pictures if Michigan State remains undefeated.
Second is the fact that Boise started the year ranked so hard.
Third I love their uniforms.
Fourth they will very likely run the table and they were ranked #3 to start the season...
So an Oklahoma/Oregon match-up would run that, but I don't see it happening. So for the major conferences I predict the following final results:
ACC: Virginia Tech over Florida State in the Championship Game
Big 12: Oklahoma State over Nebraska in the Championship Game
Big East: West Virginia goes and plays in the Low Rated Bowl
Big 10: Iowa wins and gets to participate in the Toilet Bowl
Pac 10: I'd be surprised if Oregon doesn't win the PAC-10, undefeated, maybe
SEC: Alabama over South Carolina in an epic rematch
And now the questions:
"This is much shorter than last years emails." - Brian
I also lack in certain Brett Farve-esque areas...mmm double entendre
"Good to have you back Martin. Now down to business... My Irish have 3 quality losses and seem to be getting better each week under the new coach. What are the chances ND runs into an undefeated Utah team in a months time and knocks them off?" - Yale
The Irish have a shot to very quietly possibly win seven games in a row going into the final game of the season against USC - I legitimately think that they can get by No. 9 Utah in South Bend since they have two weeks to prepare. Dayne Crist may be a year away from being the best Quarterback in the nation, not kidding, and Michael Floyd and the rest of those receivers are getting more in tune with Crist. The key is going to be Armondo Allen being able to run the ball, and the Notre Dame defense has made some strides, we'll see if it is enough.
Games of the Week:
#6 LSU at #4 Auburn - Some hot Tiger on Tiger action...damn that's a really good place to have a Tiger Woods joke, something like, "and that's the only kind of action Tiger gets anymore!" but I'm going to leave that joke on the cutting room floor. LSU is the luckiest team in the nation, how lucky you ask? Well last week they made a fortune after striking oil in the bathroom of the mansion they had won in a lottery. Whether it be insanely bad clock management skills, or ocean madness, head coach Les Miles continues to improbably win games that LSU has no business winning. Auburn on the other hand just got done with the 1000+ yards, and 108 point, anti-SEC tradition protest with Arkansas last weekend. It was the highest scoring SEC game of all time, and frankly both Auburn and Arkansas are now scorned by the rest of the conference. So what is going to give first, LSU's luck, or Auburn's lack of defense? Expect Auburn QB and Heisman hopeful Cameron Newton, an extreme threat running or passing the ball, to be the difference. Expect a much more modest score out of Auburn this week, something in the range of 140-137 Auburn.
#13 Wisconsin at #15 Iowa - Watching the Wisconsin Badgers this year is like surfing with a chainsaw in one hand and a metallic kite in the other hand in a lightning storm. You aren't exactly sure what's going to happen from one second to the next, but you have a feeling it's not good and at best inconsistent. They beat at the time #1 Ohio State last week, but I think that game probably took a lot out of them, particularly out of the defense, who was beat up in the second half of that game. The Iowa Hawkeyes are one of the nation's premier run defenses, and QB Ricky Stanzi should be able to make things happen. Without the running game, Wisconsin is probably going to hurt themselves with that chainsaw they are holding. The game should be close but the home team will prevail 28-27.
#16 Nebraska at #14 Oklahoma State- The Cornhuskers of Nebraska were exposed last week, like a kid caught with their hand in the cookie jar. QB Taylor Martinex was beaten up by Texas and that all but ended his Heisman bid. The Oklahoma State Cowboys offense has been fantastic all year, like that one season Family Guy before they used the cutaway too much. The Black Shirts of Nebraska (the nickname for the defense) is the best defense they have seen all year. The big match-up to watch are two of the best players in the country at their position, OK State's WR Justin Blackmon, and Nebraska Cornerback Prince Amukamara, expect every pro scout in the nation to watch tape on those two against one another. I suspect that Oklahoma State will throttle Taylor Martinez as much a possible, but expect a high scoring game, something like 40-37 OKST.
#1 Oklahoma at #11 Missouri - The Sooners of Oklahoma are almost to the level of Wisconsin inconsistency, but they've still managed to land on their feet every time they've played, unlike a cat with butter strapped to its back, which hovers about 6 inches off the ground. The Missouri Tigers could be the sternest test Oklahoma has faced this year, but I wouldn't know because I haven't seen one second of Missouri other then the highlights of their fiasco vs. San Diego State where they should have lost. So with no knowledge about Missouri I'm going to make some things up about them, Missouri has an average GPA of 2.73 and their right tackle is actually a giant green Frankenstein monster from the science department. Missouri leads the nation in halftime snacks and they all enjoy the soothing sounds of a good Huey Lewis album (they're all good). Oklahoma wins big, and then both teams have orange slices after the game.
Have a great weekend. Ohh also this is the best spelling job I've ever done on one of these, so if you see a word misspelled, you're wrong.
We’re midway through the college football season, and it looks like there’s a very real chance we’ll see a team from a smaller conference, most likely Boise State, in the National Championship. The reasons, like the amount of chicken I had for lunch yesterday, are substantial (note: I almost went for a fat girl joke there but resisted because I’m too classy to make fun of large broads):
First of all there is a lack of real depth at the top of the major conferences. Oregon is a good team, but they aren’t clear cut above the rest of the country. Alabama looked unstoppable but the combination of luck and bad referee eyesight had them lose at South Carolina. I think Auburn and LSU will both pick up more than one loss in the next couple weeks, I think the three undefeated teams in the Big 12 are not up to the challenge, maybe Oklahoma sneaks through to the National Title game, but they could also lose this week at Missouri, who is also a team with major flaws. The ACC and the Big East are terrible in terms of the national title, so I will continue to believe they don’t exist. And as for the Big Ten, who knows what team is going to win that sissy slap fight, I will eat a hat and send everyone pictures if Michigan State remains undefeated.
Second is the fact that Boise started the year ranked so hard.
Third I love their uniforms.
Fourth they will very likely run the table and they were ranked #3 to start the season...
So an Oklahoma/Oregon match-up would run that, but I don't see it happening. So for the major conferences I predict the following final results:
ACC: Virginia Tech over Florida State in the Championship Game
Big 12: Oklahoma State over Nebraska in the Championship Game
Big East: West Virginia goes and plays in the Low Rated Bowl
Big 10: Iowa wins and gets to participate in the Toilet Bowl
Pac 10: I'd be surprised if Oregon doesn't win the PAC-10, undefeated, maybe
SEC: Alabama over South Carolina in an epic rematch
And now the questions:
"This is much shorter than last years emails." - Brian
I also lack in certain Brett Farve-esque areas...mmm double entendre
"Good to have you back Martin. Now down to business... My Irish have 3 quality losses and seem to be getting better each week under the new coach. What are the chances ND runs into an undefeated Utah team in a months time and knocks them off?" - Yale
The Irish have a shot to very quietly possibly win seven games in a row going into the final game of the season against USC - I legitimately think that they can get by No. 9 Utah in South Bend since they have two weeks to prepare. Dayne Crist may be a year away from being the best Quarterback in the nation, not kidding, and Michael Floyd and the rest of those receivers are getting more in tune with Crist. The key is going to be Armondo Allen being able to run the ball, and the Notre Dame defense has made some strides, we'll see if it is enough.
Games of the Week:
#6 LSU at #4 Auburn - Some hot Tiger on Tiger action...damn that's a really good place to have a Tiger Woods joke, something like, "and that's the only kind of action Tiger gets anymore!" but I'm going to leave that joke on the cutting room floor. LSU is the luckiest team in the nation, how lucky you ask? Well last week they made a fortune after striking oil in the bathroom of the mansion they had won in a lottery. Whether it be insanely bad clock management skills, or ocean madness, head coach Les Miles continues to improbably win games that LSU has no business winning. Auburn on the other hand just got done with the 1000+ yards, and 108 point, anti-SEC tradition protest with Arkansas last weekend. It was the highest scoring SEC game of all time, and frankly both Auburn and Arkansas are now scorned by the rest of the conference. So what is going to give first, LSU's luck, or Auburn's lack of defense? Expect Auburn QB and Heisman hopeful Cameron Newton, an extreme threat running or passing the ball, to be the difference. Expect a much more modest score out of Auburn this week, something in the range of 140-137 Auburn.
#13 Wisconsin at #15 Iowa - Watching the Wisconsin Badgers this year is like surfing with a chainsaw in one hand and a metallic kite in the other hand in a lightning storm. You aren't exactly sure what's going to happen from one second to the next, but you have a feeling it's not good and at best inconsistent. They beat at the time #1 Ohio State last week, but I think that game probably took a lot out of them, particularly out of the defense, who was beat up in the second half of that game. The Iowa Hawkeyes are one of the nation's premier run defenses, and QB Ricky Stanzi should be able to make things happen. Without the running game, Wisconsin is probably going to hurt themselves with that chainsaw they are holding. The game should be close but the home team will prevail 28-27.
#16 Nebraska at #14 Oklahoma State- The Cornhuskers of Nebraska were exposed last week, like a kid caught with their hand in the cookie jar. QB Taylor Martinex was beaten up by Texas and that all but ended his Heisman bid. The Oklahoma State Cowboys offense has been fantastic all year, like that one season Family Guy before they used the cutaway too much. The Black Shirts of Nebraska (the nickname for the defense) is the best defense they have seen all year. The big match-up to watch are two of the best players in the country at their position, OK State's WR Justin Blackmon, and Nebraska Cornerback Prince Amukamara, expect every pro scout in the nation to watch tape on those two against one another. I suspect that Oklahoma State will throttle Taylor Martinez as much a possible, but expect a high scoring game, something like 40-37 OKST.
#1 Oklahoma at #11 Missouri - The Sooners of Oklahoma are almost to the level of Wisconsin inconsistency, but they've still managed to land on their feet every time they've played, unlike a cat with butter strapped to its back, which hovers about 6 inches off the ground. The Missouri Tigers could be the sternest test Oklahoma has faced this year, but I wouldn't know because I haven't seen one second of Missouri other then the highlights of their fiasco vs. San Diego State where they should have lost. So with no knowledge about Missouri I'm going to make some things up about them, Missouri has an average GPA of 2.73 and their right tackle is actually a giant green Frankenstein monster from the science department. Missouri leads the nation in halftime snacks and they all enjoy the soothing sounds of a good Huey Lewis album (they're all good). Oklahoma wins big, and then both teams have orange slices after the game.
Have a great weekend. Ohh also this is the best spelling job I've ever done on one of these, so if you see a word misspelled, you're wrong.
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