College Football Weekend October 24th

This week in college football is rather bland, only two top 25 teams playing each other, but there are all kinds of other fun games. As a warning to the three people who read this, there are numerous kitten jokes in this week’s column. Onto the comments:

“Another epic column. You are the James Joyce of our generation sir” – Dan

I wonder what you are going to be saying about me once I badmouth West Virginia....farther down the page.

“Can we get a Marty Jenkins response to the loss the Dawgs suffered to LSU as a result of a completely BS excessive celebration? There's a lot of commentary coming out of that on whether or not it's a reasonable penalty to enforce. I just gotta say, from a legal standpoint, it's unreasonable because it's too rarely enforced and that leads to arbitrariness, which is something that should be avoided in order to keep up respect for the law (rules in this case) and those who enforce them.” –Alex

I don’t know about a legal standpoint, but from my understanding that particular referee crew has been suspended after the jobs they did in both that game and the Arkansas/Florida game. But there are two things that really stand out to me about the incident. First, I don’t think excessive celebration should be called in college unless it involves taunting the other team or the other team’s fans. Second, the call didn’t lose the game for Georgia, missed tackles did that, but the call didn’t help. On to the games.

Saturday 24 October

#13 Georgia Tech at Virginia 12PM EST

I’m writing about this one not because I think it will be a good game, I actually think that one wat or the other this game will be terrible to watch. The Virginia Cavaliers are one of the most inconsistent teams in the country. First they drop a game to a division 1-AA team, and they don’t just drop it in a close score, they basically threw that game off a tall building into an open sewer cover that led right down into an access hatch in a super-villain’s lair that emptied into a hole that was actually the entrance to a secret hive-colony of mole men that reside deep within the earth’s core. Virginia then lost two more games against better opponents and they actually played pretty well and then went on a three game winning streak that included beating three decent teams all in lopsided scores. This team is either as confused as a kitten trying to do brain surgery, or something really happened to them after the first three games of the season.

The Yellow Jackets of Georgia Tech have one of the best running games in the country. In their upset of Virginia Tech last weekend they completed 1 (one) pass all game. This game goes down one of two ways. Either Tech uses their triple option attack and blows away the Cavaliers or that kitten learns how to do brain surgery and Virginia once again confuses the heck out of everyone in the country. I like Tech here and I would count on them winning, but all I’m saying is that kittens are very precocious.

The Big East Games 12 PM EST

South Florida at #20 Pittsburgh

Connecticut at #23 West Virginia

Let me go ahead and be brutally honest here, I haven’t watched one Big East game this year other then a few minutes of some Cincinnati games and also I have never lied to my parents. My outstanding record of honesty aside these are two important games featuring 4 teams that should all get some consideration for being in the top 25. The leader of the pack in the Big East is the #5 ranked Bearcats of Cincinnati, but they have only played South Florida so they’ve still got the meat of their schedule to go. It’s not out of the question that the Bulls of South Florida, the Pittsburgh Panthers, the West Virginia Mountaineers and Couch Burning Association, and the Connecticut Huskies could all be contenders for the Big East title and a BCS berth. So keep an eye on all these games, they have big bowl game implications. I’ll take South Florida’s defense over the balanced attack of Pittsburgh, and I’ll take West Virginia at home because they tend to throw batteries.

#13 Penn State vs Michigan 3:30PM EST

Penn State hasn’t beaten Michigan at Ann Arbor in 1000 years according to my detailed records. The Nittany Lions, led by senior QB Daryll Clark, who is putting together a nice little Heisman campaign backed by Penn State’s propaganda machine, if you discount the loss to Iowa he’d be a very viable candidate. Michigan is hard to peg, they’ve lost two games this year to Big 10 opponents, but the Wolverines are also within a couple plays/seconds of being either 7-0 or 2-5. Neither of these teams are elite, but if Penn State wants any chance at being the Big 10 champs, they need to win this pivotal rivalry game.

Penn State is the superior team both talent wise and on paper. And that and a kitten with a ball of string will get you a happy kitten in Ann Arbor, where 100 thousand plus fans will remind Penn State that they haven’t won in Ann Arbor in 13 years (not 1000 as previously stated). I haven’t been able to figure out who is playing QB for the Wolverines, but if QB Tate Forcier dresses and is healthy, the chances of victory increase greatly, because he is elusive and can give that vaunted Penn State defense trouble. More trouble then a kitten caught in a tree…I’ll take Penn State to break that streak

#8 TCU at #16 Brigham Young 7:30PM

This is the best game of the week, and the only game between ranked teams, and yet you will probably hear very little on any major sports network or site. In fact this game won’t be broadcast on any major television network as far as I can tell. That’s a shame because it’s going to be a doozy. Last year the TCU Horned Frogs dealt the BYU Cougars their first loss and dashed their BCS buster hopes as if they were a mean person taking away a toy from a kitten! BYU is hoping to return the favor by taking away the Horned Toads uhhh…lily pads? (yes I’m aware horned toads probably don’t use lily pads).

TCU is going to try and make their case for discussion in the National Title contention, they won’t make it just by going undefeated, they need some help from the teams above them, specifically Texas, Florida and Alabama. If TCU and Boise State both go undefeated my understanding is that TCU would likely pull ahead of Boise in the BCS standings. They would also probably vault USC with an undefeated season and maybe Iowa and Cincinnati.

But all that is discussion for another day because the TCU defense has to bottle up BYU’s great offense. BYU QB Max Hall will most likely be playing in the NFL, he’s got a good arm and understanding of a pro style offense, but the key to BYU winning this game could very well be the ability of the BYU tight ends to get open for dumpoff passes against the blitz. TCU is going to rush the heck out of Max Hall because they can’t let him throw without pressure, they don’t have the offense to keep up in a shootout with BYU. The battle all game is going to be the BYU offensive line slowing down the TCU pass rush enough to give Hall time to throw, they won’t stop the pass rush, they can just hope to slow it down, possibly by holding it’s tail. I’ll take BYU at home, in a close game, BYU has been outstanding in close games.

College Football Weekend 15 October

Ok so after a two week hiatus I’m back, and late, and ugly…so I’ve got a lot of things going for me. But on pain of death and disownment I’m back. My very own mother, threatened terrible things if I didn’t send it out. So here it is. Straight into the games, and this is one of my favorite weekends of the college football year, with both the Red River Rivalry between Texas and Oklahoma, and the always fun to watch USC/Notre Dame both of which figure to be entertaining.

Saturday October 15^th

#20 Oklahoma vs. #3 Texas 12PM EST

Much of the glamour of this game was lost when Oklahoma lost for the second time against Miami a couple weeks ago. The Sooners have had injury problems this year, both with starting Quarterback and Heisman winner Sam Bradford, and all over their offensive line. But this is a rivalry game, and just like any rivalry no matter how down in the dumps your foe might be, and no matter how beat up they might be you still want to kick their teeth in and take their mom out for a nice seafood dinner and never call her again. And that’s exactly what the Texas Longhorns are hoping to do, led by QB Colt McCoy. Colt McCoy will look to take apart his arch-enemies much like I take apart my arch-enemy Yale Roeder in any and every competition.

Both teams read a wide open spread offense, and although Oklahoma’s offense is a shell of what people expected it to be at the beginning of this year maybe like a turtle there is some kind of treasure left inside. Many analysts are wondering if this Texas defense is even better than last years, with DE/OLB Sergio Kindle it could be. According to Texas defensive coordinator Will Muschamp they are better this year, certainly faster. Some people think that the Oklahoma Sooner offense has been sandbagging it all year in an effort to fool Texas. Well if you ask me they did a pretty spectacular job sandbagging their way to two losses and putting them selves out of National title contention. They sure had me fooled. This game may be close but I would be highly surprised if the Texas defense doesn’t dominate Oklahoma’s offensive line, and Texas socres just enough to put them over the top.

#6 USC at # 25 Notre Dame 3:30PM EST

You know how there’s that pretty girl (or boy) who you always dream of catching and beating in a football game? But you can never do it for one reason or another no matter how high you grow the grass in your stadium or what uniform you wear for good luck? Well USC is just like that for Notre Dame, they can just never seem to have the confidence or charm to win her over. The Irish haven’t beaten USC in 7 years and they’ve tried everything they can. But the Trojans always seem to find a way to win, either by pushing the quarterback in the back for a surprise late touchdown, or by scoring 38 points and giving all the Irish players wedgies.

But this year is different if you believe the faithful Fighting Irish fans! They’ve done the math and they know, USC lost to Washington, Notre Dame beat Washington, and therefore transitive football math says that Notre Dame is going to win! Unfortunately it doesn’t quite work that way. I’ll be brutally honest here, I’ve seen enough of the Irish this year to say with confidence that they aren’t a great team. Their coach has argued that they are a fluke play away from being undefeated this season, which is great if you are a glass have full guy. But if you are like me, and you are a middle of the glass is empty kinda person, you could argue that the Irish are several plays or seconds away from being 1-4. There is legitimate talent on for Notre Dame, and a large part of it is Jimmy Clausen, the quarterback who has averaged over 300 yards passing a game. But he will have to overcome quite a bit to beat the USC defense which is ranked 6^th in the country.

But all is not lost, unlike the random socks I lose on the regular, victory for the Irish has a chance at being found. And that chance lies in the fact that USC’s offense isn’t the juggernaut it has been in past years. It is filled with young players who have only experienced once or twice the kind of atmosphere they are going to see in South Bend. And rest assured that grass will be as high as possible, and the crowd will be full of tradition and pomp with a side of circumstance. But in the end I suspect Touchdown Jesus will be frowning when the men of Troy come to town.

#4 Virginia Tech at #19 Georgia Tech 6PM EST

It’s been 19 years since the Georgia Tech Yellow Jackets beat the Virginia Tech Hokies at home in Georgia. Take a moment to think about all the advances that have been made since then…my favorite is butter spray. Georgia Tech has played better on the road this season then they have at home, and they’ll need to reverse that trend and get their triple option running attack going early if they want to overcome the Hokies defense. The Hokies have played some big out of conference games, and faired well in all of them, even the loss to Alabama, the only mark against the Hokies is their inconsistency, which is not something that happens with butter spray, it goes on smooth every time.

This game is hard to predict, Virginia Tech’s defense could just dominate the game, and I think that’s probably the most likely scenario. But both teams are so flaky, one week Tech stomped Miami badly, the next week they nearly lost to Duke. Georgia Tech could barely muster any offense against Miami but they came out and put 49 points on Florida State. The most likely scenario is that Tech just shuts down Tech and Tech goes on to be 6-1.

#22 South Carolina at #2 Alabama 7:45PM EST

I think Alabama will stumble at some point in the year before the SEC championship game, but I don’t think this is the week. The Crimson Tide’s defense is bruising and nasty, like an old peach that hasn’t been blessed with a squirt of butter spray. Inside linebacker Rolando McClain is the best junior linebacker in the country and he would be even more standout if it weren’t for all the other great players playing with him at Alabama.

South Carolina is trying to win its fifth straight game, and second against a top 5 team this year. But they are outgunned at ever single position group except the defensive line. I think that the defensive line for South Carolina will keep the game closer then it otherwise would be, but I think Alabama is going to be too much team for the Gamecocks.

That’s all for this week, as always I promise better next week! And as always Yale I'll be looking for new and inventive ways to dominate you at all things we do.