A view from our Shrimp boat

College Football Weekend 30 October

2010-10-28T14:38:00.000-04:00

Last week was unusually fantastic. Four undefeated teams lost, including the #1 team, and I got to have chili con queso which was fantastic. There would have been 5 undefeated teams that lost but somehow Michigan State paid off the refs and squeaked out a come from behind win at the mighty Northwestern Wildcats, who are known for their excellent sports journalism school and also being bad at sports. If you watched the Auburn/LSU game, you saw Auburn QB Carlos Newton dominate a game by basically running over defenders like they were small children trying to tackle their father in a backyard football game. If you saw that game then you also may have noticed that the commentator made the same joke I did about regardless of the outcome the tigers winning, which just goes to show how hilarious I am...

Anyway, this week has a slightly less stellar slate of games, but don't be surprised if for the third week in a row the number 1 or 2 team in the nation loses. And in the comments we get a lot of posturing for smaller schools.

Comments:
"Common (Ed. Note: is that supposed to be Come on?) man no plug for San Diego State other than the Missouri conference!?!?! We beat Air Force and realistically should be 6 - 0 if you take away the two horrible ref "no-calls" against BYU and Missouri. I'm disappointed! Otherwise good column.
Regards, Brad"

You're right, I'm not giving them much due, maybe it's because I hate small schools and small conferences (sarcasm), or maybe it's because they lost to a mighty BYU team who is 3-5 overall and 5th in the Mountain West Conference...San Diego State will certainly have a chance to prove their worthiness in the middle of November when they play TCU and Utah. Until then they'll have to hang their hat on that signature 47-0 win over Division 1-AA Nicholls State.

"Will Duquesne continue it's road dominance of Wagner in a pivotal NEC tilt? People want to know! I know it's not Lafayette-Lehigh, but still Jenkins ... You're better than that!! - Dan"

How does Duquesne feel about being included in the Northeast Conference? I would hardly call that the Northeast, if anything shouldn't they be pushing to get into a real mans league, something like the Patriot League? Speaking of which, how does it feel to lose to perennial Patriot League doormat and current 1-6 Bucknell, a school so pathetic that they have to try and goad other Patriot League teams into being their rival since they don't have a rival to call their own. I wish that I was making that up...

"If it was me, I would've eaten more sandwiches. But then again, pretty much anything makes me want to eat more sandwiches - Michael Ratcliffe"

Best/most accurate comment ever

Games:
Tennessee at #20 South Carolina:
What's the over under on the number of times it gets mentioned that the Tennessee head coach Derek Dooley compared to his team being like the Germans waiting for the allies to land at Normandy? How many signs in the South Carolina crowd are there going to be comparing him to Hitler. I wish I was making this up:
http://www.nationalfootballpost.com/Dooley-Were-like-the-Germans-in-World-War-II-9774.html
The classy thing to do here if you are a South Carolina fan would be to ignore it completely and have a poster of Dooley with some hound dog ears.

#5 Michigan State at #18 Iowa:
Michigan State is due to lose a game, so much so that I've already bet that I would eat a hat if they do not lose in the regular season. Imagine my surprise when my friend brought over a hat catalogue last weekend...delightful. The Spartans of Michigan State have relied all year on trickery and smoke and mirrors as well as a strong running game. Expect the Iowa Hawkeyes defensive front to slow down the rushing attack, which will cause Michigan State to throw the ball, which may not be such a bad thing considering QB Kirk Cousins put up 330 yards last week. Iowa will rely on Senior QB Ricky Stanzi who was excellent in last week’s 1 point loss against Wisconsin. I really want Iowa to win this, as it may be the last decent challenge on the Michigan State schedule, and I've got a certain place in my heart for not having to eat a hat.

#6 Missouri at #14 Nebraska:
Last week I vocalized how nicely the schedule sets up for the Missouri Tigers to run the table if they get past Oklahoma, and get past them they did. Now they take their high powered pass offense to Nebraska to face a Cornhuskers defense that is number three in the country in pass defense. The difference this year for Missouri from past seasons is that they are apparently playing defense now. Which sounds odd I know, like hearing that your deadbeat cousin got a job and got married and is a good father but you are always going to remember him as the guy who had to go to the hospital because he swallowed super glue and some legos when he was 15, but apparently it's true as Missouri has the 4th best defense in the country. The recipe for success against Nebraska this year is stop QB Taylor Martinez from running all over the place and win, also add a touch of salt. Missouri stops him and they win, they fail to stop him and their dreams of an undefeated season go out the window like Charlie Sheen's pride. I'll take Nebraska at home.

#2 Oregon at University of Southern California:
I can't decide if the Oregon Ducks are really really good, or if they are playing people on weeks when they are down. This game will confirm which one of those is the correct answer. Oregon's offense moves fast and lives large, like me in an all you can eat buffet. And nobody can question their stance on kicking butt, they have really crushed everyone they played this year even Stanford, who were close and then eventually couldn't keep up the pace. USC has had two weeks to plan for Oregon, and QB Matt Barkley will have success throwing the ball. The USC defense will probably be able to hang with Oregon for a bit, but again to bring back the all you can eat buffet comparison, like me they can only do that for so long before they get full and fall asleep and have to be embarrassingly escorted out of the buffet by the manager. I think if anyone is going to beat Oregon this year it will be USC, and the Trojans would love to spoil the fun since they aren't allowed in the post-season. I expect this game to play out much like the Stanford-Oregon game, close for 3 quarters, unclose for the last.

Have a great weekend. (Note: there was not one Halloween joke in this entire thing, deal with it)

College Football Weekend 23 October

2010-10-21T14:17:00.000-04:00

As my plumber said, "I’ll take a crack at this." As always if you know anyone else who’d like to receive this e-mail let me know, and likewise if you are tired of spam from me by all means let me know.

We’re midway through the college football season, and it looks like there’s a very real chance we’ll see a team from a smaller conference, most likely Boise State, in the National Championship. The reasons, like the amount of chicken I had for lunch yesterday, are substantial (note: I almost went for a fat girl joke there but resisted because I’m too classy to make fun of large broads):

First of all there is a lack of real depth at the top of the major conferences. Oregon is a good team, but they aren’t clear cut above the rest of the country. Alabama looked unstoppable but the combination of luck and bad referee eyesight had them lose at South Carolina. I think Auburn and LSU will both pick up more than one loss in the next couple weeks, I think the three undefeated teams in the Big 12 are not up to the challenge, maybe Oklahoma sneaks through to the National Title game, but they could also lose this week at Missouri, who is also a team with major flaws. The ACC and the Big East are terrible in terms of the national title, so I will continue to believe they don’t exist. And as for the Big Ten, who knows what team is going to win that sissy slap fight, I will eat a hat and send everyone pictures if Michigan State remains undefeated.

Second is the fact that Boise started the year ranked so hard.

Third I love their uniforms.

Fourth they will very likely run the table and they were ranked #3 to start the season...

So an Oklahoma/Oregon match-up would run that, but I don't see it happening. So for the major conferences I predict the following final results:

ACC: Virginia Tech over Florida State in the Championship Game
Big 12: Oklahoma State over Nebraska in the Championship Game
Big East: West Virginia goes and plays in the Low Rated Bowl
Big 10: Iowa wins and gets to participate in the Toilet Bowl
Pac 10: I'd be surprised if Oregon doesn't win the PAC-10, undefeated, maybe
SEC: Alabama over South Carolina in an epic rematch

And now the questions:
"This is much shorter than last years emails." - Brian
I also lack in certain Brett Farve-esque areas...mmm double entendre

"Good to have you back Martin. Now down to business... My Irish have 3 quality losses and seem to be getting better each week under the new coach. What are the chances ND runs into an undefeated Utah team in a months time and knocks them off?" - Yale
The Irish have a shot to very quietly possibly win seven games in a row going into the final game of the season against USC - I legitimately think that they can get by No. 9 Utah in South Bend since they have two weeks to prepare. Dayne Crist may be a year away from being the best Quarterback in the nation, not kidding, and Michael Floyd and the rest of those receivers are getting more in tune with Crist. The key is going to be Armondo Allen being able to run the ball, and the Notre Dame defense has made some strides, we'll see if it is enough.

Games of the Week:
#6 LSU at #4 Auburn - Some hot Tiger on Tiger action...damn that's a really good place to have a Tiger Woods joke, something like, "and that's the only kind of action Tiger gets anymore!" but I'm going to leave that joke on the cutting room floor. LSU is the luckiest team in the nation, how lucky you ask? Well last week they made a fortune after striking oil in the bathroom of the mansion they had won in a lottery. Whether it be insanely bad clock management skills, or ocean madness, head coach Les Miles continues to improbably win games that LSU has no business winning. Auburn on the other hand just got done with the 1000+ yards, and 108 point, anti-SEC tradition protest with Arkansas last weekend. It was the highest scoring SEC game of all time, and frankly both Auburn and Arkansas are now scorned by the rest of the conference. So what is going to give first, LSU's luck, or Auburn's lack of defense? Expect Auburn QB and Heisman hopeful Cameron Newton, an extreme threat running or passing the ball, to be the difference. Expect a much more modest score out of Auburn this week, something in the range of 140-137 Auburn.

#13 Wisconsin at #15 Iowa - Watching the Wisconsin Badgers this year is like surfing with a chainsaw in one hand and a metallic kite in the other hand in a lightning storm. You aren't exactly sure what's going to happen from one second to the next, but you have a feeling it's not good and at best inconsistent. They beat at the time #1 Ohio State last week, but I think that game probably took a lot out of them, particularly out of the defense, who was beat up in the second half of that game. The Iowa Hawkeyes are one of the nation's premier run defenses, and QB Ricky Stanzi should be able to make things happen. Without the running game, Wisconsin is probably going to hurt themselves with that chainsaw they are holding. The game should be close but the home team will prevail 28-27.

#16 Nebraska at #14 Oklahoma State- The Cornhuskers of Nebraska were exposed last week, like a kid caught with their hand in the cookie jar. QB Taylor Martinex was beaten up by Texas and that all but ended his Heisman bid. The Oklahoma State Cowboys offense has been fantastic all year, like that one season Family Guy before they used the cutaway too much. The Black Shirts of Nebraska (the nickname for the defense) is the best defense they have seen all year. The big match-up to watch are two of the best players in the country at their position, OK State's WR Justin Blackmon, and Nebraska Cornerback Prince Amukamara, expect every pro scout in the nation to watch tape on those two against one another. I suspect that Oklahoma State will throttle Taylor Martinez as much a possible, but expect a high scoring game, something like 40-37 OKST.

#1 Oklahoma at #11 Missouri - The Sooners of Oklahoma are almost to the level of Wisconsin inconsistency, but they've still managed to land on their feet every time they've played, unlike a cat with butter strapped to its back, which hovers about 6 inches off the ground. The Missouri Tigers could be the sternest test Oklahoma has faced this year, but I wouldn't know because I haven't seen one second of Missouri other then the highlights of their fiasco vs. San Diego State where they should have lost. So with no knowledge about Missouri I'm going to make some things up about them, Missouri has an average GPA of 2.73 and their right tackle is actually a giant green Frankenstein monster from the science department. Missouri leads the nation in halftime snacks and they all enjoy the soothing sounds of a good Huey Lewis album (they're all good). Oklahoma wins big, and then both teams have orange slices after the game.

Have a great weekend. Ohh also this is the best spelling job I've ever done on one of these, so if you see a word misspelled, you're wrong.

College Football Weekend November 13th and 14th

2009-11-13T01:57:00.001-05:00

Well I’m guilty of a bit of sloth lately, and I apologize. I’m a terrible human being and I deserve nothing but disapproval and shame. But enough about me, let’s talk about what’s going on in college football. Essentially there are three teams that control their destiny, with several others hoping for those three teams to fall. Florida, Texas, and Alabama all control their destiny, and either Florida or Alabama will knock the other one off in the SEC championship game. At this point I don’t think anyone is going to beat those three teams in the regular season, and if one of them do lose it would be a major upset.

On the outside looking in are Cincinnati, TCU, and Boise State, all of which need some help to get in the championship game. But at this time last year there were a number of undefeated teams that needed help and instead of getting help they all failed to take care of their own business. The most likely situation is that Texas is going to play the winner of Alabama/Florida, and then these other teams play in other BCS games. Luckily the ACC, Big-10 and Pac-10 have taken themselves out of the conversation for the National Championship.

As for the Heisman? I have no clue who is going to win at this point, I think there are lots of deserving players on about 7 or 8 teams. Some people are saying crazy things like a defensive player winning. Well those people are insane, and they should be doing insane things like petting pretend porcupines, and licking unicorns. But happy Veteran’s day to all those Veterans out there, and on to the one and only comment:

“Hey remember that guy who used to write a college football column? That was fun. I don't care about your "personal life" or that "things are busy at work." I want to know your take on the Utah-TCU game!” – Dan

I hate you.

Games:

Friday November 12^th:

#25 West Virginia at #5 Cincinnati 8PM EST:

The Cincinnati Bearcats have been weathering the storm for a bit while their starting QB Tony Pike has been hurt for the last 3 weeks and luckily Zach Collaros has filled in adequately, just like that guy who filled in for Radar on MASH (I don’t even know if that reference is correct). The Bearcats are interesting, because they’ve snuck up on the national scene, and they’ve done it with a little bit of style. The Bearcats have won every game pretty convincingly with the exception of last game which got a little out of hand at the end.

The West Virginia Mountaineers have a couple marks against them, both from teams that were able to slow down the spread option attack. They rely on the blazing speed of RB Noel Devine and the fast but not quite as fast speed of QB Jarrett Brown. The key to West Virginia as always is getting your defense to play smart by sticking to their assignments, so that is the big test for the Bearcats.

If you get a chance to watch this game, prepare to see some offense, because both these teams are very offensively inclined, I’m thinking somewhere in the range of 1000 yards of offense or more. What concerns me about Cincinnati is that they apparently have plans to bring Tony Pike in off the bench in this game, in the past I’ve rarely seen that kind of thing work, and if they do it too much in the game it can break the offensive rhythm, which is like stepping on your dance partner’s toes. I think Cincinnati will win a high scoring affair at home.

Saturday November 14^th

#10 Iowa at #11 Ohio State 3:30PM EST

First let’s talk stakes here, the winner of this game goes on to the Rose Bowl in Southern California the beginning of January, which if you are coming from Iowa City or Columbus, is pretty nice. Heck it’s nice no matter where you are coming from (not trying to rub it in, just saying). The loser will not be playing in a BCS game, and they probably will be playing a bowl game somewhere considerably colder then Los Angeles. I’ll get my prediction out of the way early and tell you that if I was an Iowa fan, I wouldn’t book tickets to Socal to see my brother and this bowl game, not only because I don’t think Iowa isn’t going to win, but also because you never call >:(

The Hawkeyes have been getting by all year by the skin of their teeth, and that skin finally got scraped last weekend when they dropped a game to Northwestern. Their starting QB Ricky Stanzi got hurt in what looked like a very nasty sack in the endzone (his own). Ohio State got beaten at home by USC early in the year and then got clipped by Purdue a couple weeks ago. This year is a bit of a rebuilding year for the Buckeyes as they’ve been trying to get QB Terrelle Pryor to live up to the hype he had coming out of high school. At one time Pryor was the most highly coveted quarterback in all the country, and he ended up spurring about 10 schools to go to Ohio State. He’s a great dual threat quarterback, and although he hasn’t been a superstar this year, he’s improved and I suspect he’ll have a breakout year next year.

Iowa has really been fortunate that they didn’t lose before last weekend. Iowa doesn’t have the defense to win this game, and their inconsistent offense only trouble me more. But they did go into Happy Valley and beat Penn State back in September, which is an eternity ago in college football, but who knows, maybe they can capture a bit of their early season magic. I believe that it’s Ohio State’s dominant defense that is going to punch their first ticket to the Rose Bowl since 1996, and Iowa will have to continue their 19 year drought from Pasadena.

#16 Utah at #4 TCU 7:30PM EST

This is maybe the best and most important game of the week in the land when it comes to the BCS. The TCU Horned Frogs are 1-5 all time against the Utah Utes, who suffered their only loss of the season against Oregon back in September. These two teams have played some really exciting close games in the last 4 years, and while Utah has won all but one game, an overtime loss in 2005, none of the games have been blowouts. Expect a very hard fought, nose to the grindstone type of game. A defensive battle is almost certainly going to break out.

The last time I talked about TCU, I spoke poorly of them and they burned me by lighting BYU up badly. I was all set to talk about how this game really was going to come down to which Utah team showed up the one that crushed or the one that went to overtime with the Air Force Academy? But then I realized two things; first, actually doesn’t exist, because Utah hasn’t really beat anyone impressive this season. And second, although Utah beat Air Force in overtime, TCU only beat them by 3 points. So I nearly slighted Air Force and game them no credit.

In the end I think you are going to see a defensive battle, even though TCU has a much better offense, Utah probably has a slightly better defense. But Utah always seems to come up big in most big games, and with their potent running game and tough defense they have a very good fighting chance at TCU. TCU should win, and I think they will, but you can never count out a game Utah team. They are like Hulk Hogan, they never tap and just when you think they are beat and the ref is about to drop their arm for the third time to signal they are unconscious…they Hulk up and get out and body press their opponent and deliver the leg drop, cover for the three count, and then cue the theme music Hulkamaniacs! “I am a real American…fight for the rights of every man….”

Everyone have a great weekend, and be sure to thank any Veterans in your life.

College Football Weekend October 24th

2009-10-23T00:06:00.002-04:00

This week in college football is rather bland, only two top 25 teams playing each other, but there are all kinds of other fun games. As a warning to the three people who read this, there are numerous kitten jokes in this week’s column. Onto the comments:

“Another epic column. You are the James Joyce of our generation sir” – Dan

I wonder what you are going to be saying about me once I badmouth West Virginia....farther down the page.

“Can we get a Marty Jenkins response to the loss the Dawgs suffered to LSU as a result of a completely BS excessive celebration? There's a lot of commentary coming out of that on whether or not it's a reasonable penalty to enforce. I just gotta say, from a legal standpoint, it's unreasonable because it's too rarely enforced and that leads to arbitrariness, which is something that should be avoided in order to keep up respect for the law (rules in this case) and those who enforce them.” –Alex

I don’t know about a legal standpoint, but from my understanding that particular referee crew has been suspended after the jobs they did in both that game and the Arkansas/Florida game. But there are two things that really stand out to me about the incident. First, I don’t think excessive celebration should be called in college unless it involves taunting the other team or the other team’s fans. Second, the call didn’t lose the game for Georgia, missed tackles did that, but the call didn’t help. On to the games.

Saturday 24 October

#13 Georgia Tech at Virginia 12PM EST

I’m writing about this one not because I think it will be a good game, I actually think that one wat or the other this game will be terrible to watch. The Virginia Cavaliers are one of the most inconsistent teams in the country. First they drop a game to a division 1-AA team, and they don’t just drop it in a close score, they basically threw that game off a tall building into an open sewer cover that led right down into an access hatch in a super-villain’s lair that emptied into a hole that was actually the entrance to a secret hive-colony of mole men that reside deep within the earth’s core. Virginia then lost two more games against better opponents and they actually played pretty well and then went on a three game winning streak that included beating three decent teams all in lopsided scores. This team is either as confused as a kitten trying to do brain surgery, or something really happened to them after the first three games of the season.

The Yellow Jackets of Georgia Tech have one of the best running games in the country. In their upset of Virginia Tech last weekend they completed 1 (one) pass all game. This game goes down one of two ways. Either Tech uses their triple option attack and blows away the Cavaliers or that kitten learns how to do brain surgery and Virginia once again confuses the heck out of everyone in the country. I like Tech here and I would count on them winning, but all I’m saying is that kittens are very precocious.

The Big East Games 12 PM EST

South Florida at #20 Pittsburgh

Connecticut at #23 West Virginia

Let me go ahead and be brutally honest here, I haven’t watched one Big East game this year other then a few minutes of some Cincinnati games and also I have never lied to my parents. My outstanding record of honesty aside these are two important games featuring 4 teams that should all get some consideration for being in the top 25. The leader of the pack in the Big East is the #5 ranked Bearcats of Cincinnati, but they have only played South Florida so they’ve still got the meat of their schedule to go. It’s not out of the question that the Bulls of South Florida, the Pittsburgh Panthers, the West Virginia Mountaineers and Couch Burning Association, and the Connecticut Huskies could all be contenders for the Big East title and a BCS berth. So keep an eye on all these games, they have big bowl game implications. I’ll take South Florida’s defense over the balanced attack of Pittsburgh, and I’ll take West Virginia at home because they tend to throw batteries.

#13 Penn State vs Michigan 3:30PM EST

Penn State hasn’t beaten Michigan at Ann Arbor in 1000 years according to my detailed records. The Nittany Lions, led by senior QB Daryll Clark, who is putting together a nice little Heisman campaign backed by Penn State’s propaganda machine, if you discount the loss to Iowa he’d be a very viable candidate. Michigan is hard to peg, they’ve lost two games this year to Big 10 opponents, but the Wolverines are also within a couple plays/seconds of being either 7-0 or 2-5. Neither of these teams are elite, but if Penn State wants any chance at being the Big 10 champs, they need to win this pivotal rivalry game.

Penn State is the superior team both talent wise and on paper. And that and a kitten with a ball of string will get you a happy kitten in Ann Arbor, where 100 thousand plus fans will remind Penn State that they haven’t won in Ann Arbor in 13 years (not 1000 as previously stated). I haven’t been able to figure out who is playing QB for the Wolverines, but if QB Tate Forcier dresses and is healthy, the chances of victory increase greatly, because he is elusive and can give that vaunted Penn State defense trouble. More trouble then a kitten caught in a tree…I’ll take Penn State to break that streak

#8 TCU at #16 Brigham Young 7:30PM

This is the best game of the week, and the only game between ranked teams, and yet you will probably hear very little on any major sports network or site. In fact this game won’t be broadcast on any major television network as far as I can tell. That’s a shame because it’s going to be a doozy. Last year the TCU Horned Frogs dealt the BYU Cougars their first loss and dashed their BCS buster hopes as if they were a mean person taking away a toy from a kitten! BYU is hoping to return the favor by taking away the Horned Toads uhhh…lily pads? (yes I’m aware horned toads probably don’t use lily pads).

TCU is going to try and make their case for discussion in the National Title contention, they won’t make it just by going undefeated, they need some help from the teams above them, specifically Texas, Florida and Alabama. If TCU and Boise State both go undefeated my understanding is that TCU would likely pull ahead of Boise in the BCS standings. They would also probably vault USC with an undefeated season and maybe Iowa and Cincinnati.

But all that is discussion for another day because the TCU defense has to bottle up BYU’s great offense. BYU QB Max Hall will most likely be playing in the NFL, he’s got a good arm and understanding of a pro style offense, but the key to BYU winning this game could very well be the ability of the BYU tight ends to get open for dumpoff passes against the blitz. TCU is going to rush the heck out of Max Hall because they can’t let him throw without pressure, they don’t have the offense to keep up in a shootout with BYU. The battle all game is going to be the BYU offensive line slowing down the TCU pass rush enough to give Hall time to throw, they won’t stop the pass rush, they can just hope to slow it down, possibly by holding it’s tail. I’ll take BYU at home, in a close game, BYU has been outstanding in close games.

College Football Weekend 15 October

2009-10-16T01:54:00.001-04:00

Ok so after a two week hiatus I’m back, and late, and ugly…so I’ve got a lot of things going for me. But on pain of death and disownment I’m back. My very own mother, threatened terrible things if I didn’t send it out. So here it is. Straight into the games, and this is one of my favorite weekends of the college football year, with both the Red River Rivalry between Texas and Oklahoma, and the always fun to watch USC/Notre Dame both of which figure to be entertaining.

Saturday October 15^th

#20 Oklahoma vs. #3 Texas 12PM EST

Much of the glamour of this game was lost when Oklahoma lost for the second time against Miami a couple weeks ago. The Sooners have had injury problems this year, both with starting Quarterback and Heisman winner Sam Bradford, and all over their offensive line. But this is a rivalry game, and just like any rivalry no matter how down in the dumps your foe might be, and no matter how beat up they might be you still want to kick their teeth in and take their mom out for a nice seafood dinner and never call her again. And that’s exactly what the Texas Longhorns are hoping to do, led by QB Colt McCoy. Colt McCoy will look to take apart his arch-enemies much like I take apart my arch-enemy Yale Roeder in any and every competition.

Both teams read a wide open spread offense, and although Oklahoma’s offense is a shell of what people expected it to be at the beginning of this year maybe like a turtle there is some kind of treasure left inside. Many analysts are wondering if this Texas defense is even better than last years, with DE/OLB Sergio Kindle it could be. According to Texas defensive coordinator Will Muschamp they are better this year, certainly faster. Some people think that the Oklahoma Sooner offense has been sandbagging it all year in an effort to fool Texas. Well if you ask me they did a pretty spectacular job sandbagging their way to two losses and putting them selves out of National title contention. They sure had me fooled. This game may be close but I would be highly surprised if the Texas defense doesn’t dominate Oklahoma’s offensive line, and Texas socres just enough to put them over the top.

#6 USC at # 25 Notre Dame 3:30PM EST

You know how there’s that pretty girl (or boy) who you always dream of catching and beating in a football game? But you can never do it for one reason or another no matter how high you grow the grass in your stadium or what uniform you wear for good luck? Well USC is just like that for Notre Dame, they can just never seem to have the confidence or charm to win her over. The Irish haven’t beaten USC in 7 years and they’ve tried everything they can. But the Trojans always seem to find a way to win, either by pushing the quarterback in the back for a surprise late touchdown, or by scoring 38 points and giving all the Irish players wedgies.

But this year is different if you believe the faithful Fighting Irish fans! They’ve done the math and they know, USC lost to Washington, Notre Dame beat Washington, and therefore transitive football math says that Notre Dame is going to win! Unfortunately it doesn’t quite work that way. I’ll be brutally honest here, I’ve seen enough of the Irish this year to say with confidence that they aren’t a great team. Their coach has argued that they are a fluke play away from being undefeated this season, which is great if you are a glass have full guy. But if you are like me, and you are a middle of the glass is empty kinda person, you could argue that the Irish are several plays or seconds away from being 1-4. There is legitimate talent on for Notre Dame, and a large part of it is Jimmy Clausen, the quarterback who has averaged over 300 yards passing a game. But he will have to overcome quite a bit to beat the USC defense which is ranked 6^th in the country.

But all is not lost, unlike the random socks I lose on the regular, victory for the Irish has a chance at being found. And that chance lies in the fact that USC’s offense isn’t the juggernaut it has been in past years. It is filled with young players who have only experienced once or twice the kind of atmosphere they are going to see in South Bend. And rest assured that grass will be as high as possible, and the crowd will be full of tradition and pomp with a side of circumstance. But in the end I suspect Touchdown Jesus will be frowning when the men of Troy come to town.

#4 Virginia Tech at #19 Georgia Tech 6PM EST

It’s been 19 years since the Georgia Tech Yellow Jackets beat the Virginia Tech Hokies at home in Georgia. Take a moment to think about all the advances that have been made since then…my favorite is butter spray. Georgia Tech has played better on the road this season then they have at home, and they’ll need to reverse that trend and get their triple option running attack going early if they want to overcome the Hokies defense. The Hokies have played some big out of conference games, and faired well in all of them, even the loss to Alabama, the only mark against the Hokies is their inconsistency, which is not something that happens with butter spray, it goes on smooth every time.

This game is hard to predict, Virginia Tech’s defense could just dominate the game, and I think that’s probably the most likely scenario. But both teams are so flaky, one week Tech stomped Miami badly, the next week they nearly lost to Duke. Georgia Tech could barely muster any offense against Miami but they came out and put 49 points on Florida State. The most likely scenario is that Tech just shuts down Tech and Tech goes on to be 6-1.

#22 South Carolina at #2 Alabama 7:45PM EST

I think Alabama will stumble at some point in the year before the SEC championship game, but I don’t think this is the week. The Crimson Tide’s defense is bruising and nasty, like an old peach that hasn’t been blessed with a squirt of butter spray. Inside linebacker Rolando McClain is the best junior linebacker in the country and he would be even more standout if it weren’t for all the other great players playing with him at Alabama.

South Carolina is trying to win its fifth straight game, and second against a top 5 team this year. But they are outgunned at ever single position group except the defensive line. I think that the defensive line for South Carolina will keep the game closer then it otherwise would be, but I think Alabama is going to be too much team for the Gamecocks.

That’s all for this week, as always I promise better next week! And as always Yale I'll be looking for new and inventive ways to dominate you at all things we do.

College Football Weekend September 26th

2009-09-25T01:12:00.001-04:00

Thankfully last week Virginia Tech saved my bacon in the last minute of the game or I would have been completely wrong about every game. As a reward I am pushing Virginia Tech under the bus and picking Miami this week. That’s what you get for helping me, my thanks and then I sell you out.

Most people have some conviction about the Thursday night game this week, feeling that perhaps South Carolina is a trap game for Mississippi. My question is, how is Ole Miss ranked 4^th? Was I asleep at the wheel or something? How does a team that went 9-4 last year with losses to wake Forrest and Vanderbilt get ranked in the top 10 to start the next year? Well I won’t stand for it, and I won’t write about the game, because South Carolina is going to win.

Sadly this is my last column….in the month of September (I bet for the briefest moment a dozen people got really excited there). September is my favorite month of football, it contains all measure of surprises and excitement, it paints a picture for the rest of the year and tells me that fall is coming. On to comments:

“Umm how about Georgia v. Arkansas? Dawgs had a solid game against USC last week.” – Alex

Arkansas sucks and that game was bust, and I’m writing about Georgia this week.

“Such a sad sad weekend for college football. Here I am in Chicago and I don't even care that I have no chance of being around Louisville for the Louisville-Kentucky game. A game that used to be at least a tiny bit interesting based on having that sunday on labor day weekend time slot and one of the teams not being half bad now has absolutely no reason to attract viewers. While Steve Kragthorpe continues to throw dirt on the now cold carcass of what used to be Louisville football, Kentucky is coming off a banner run of three bowl games and is projected to finish the season...second to last in the SEC. Last year's contest was barely watchable. I think it's the only time I have ever attended a football game in person and been more entertained by the commercial breaks. Prediction!!

Kentucky 35
Louisville 13

Louisville plays 3 quarterbacks, at least once attempting to use 2 at the same time, and being effective enough to muster 0 TD and 3 ints. Victor Anderson runs well enough that the announcers in the booth are caught talking about how he should find 10 other guys and join an actual team when espnu comes back from commercial early. Kentucky runs...and runs...and runs...and runs, controlling the game clock and easily putting up 5 TD, never coming close to relinquishing the 21-3 halftime lead. During the 4th quarter John Calipari makes an appearance for a live on-air interview and briefly chastises Pitino for knocking up his wife before taking credit for the victory by saying he helped "bring kentucky back". In the post game interview Kragthorpe talks about the smiles on the faces of the children in the stands when we play. When informed that this was a road game, he asks for a copy of the final score to be faxed to his office and heads off for his afternoon nap. Brooks mumbles about fishing and tomato gardens for 10 minutes. A disheveled Mrs. Kragthorpe stumbles into the press conference late, followed 5 minutes later by a grinning Rick Pitino in a silver suit...with perfect hair.

Let it be known that all these predictions were emailed prior to kickoff.” – Paul

Least optimistic e-mail ever? Also possibly the greatest ever, all I’ll say is that this game was closer then I thought. On to games.

Saturday 26 September

Fresno State at #14 Cincinnati 12PM EST

Fresno is a tough team, and if you watched the game last Friday, when they wouldn’t stop trading long touchdowns with Boise, you know that the Bulldogs aren’t afraid to explode on offense, either through the air or on the ground. The Bearcats of Cincinnati (which I can never spell correctly) have a stud of a quarterback in Senior Tony Pike, who is completing over 70% of his passes. He’ll need to slow down the fleet footed Junior Running Back for the Bulldogs, Ryan Mathews, who is averaging 9.1 yards a carry for his 49 carries this year (can you do the math)?

Both teams are top 10 in the nation in offense, so I expect a high scoring fast pace game. Fresno has a really tough out of conference schedule this year, and sorry to say but it looks like they are going to go winless against their third big team, Cincinnati has had a surprisingly hot start, look for them to continue that into the month of October. Fresno will be back though, they look to return an entire team of seniors next year, so look out.

South Florida at #14 Florida State 12 PM EST

The Florida State Seminoles bullied BYU last weekend in an unexpected rout of the previously unbeaten BCS hopeful Cougars. Florida’s defense played fast and hit hard and some have said that it’s the “fastest defense in FSU history”. QB Christian Ponder was quite literally on fire against BYU last week, completing over 80% of his passes and running for 77 yards and one touchdown. The South Florida Bulls lost four year starter, and sometimes miracle worker QB Matt Grothe last weekend to a knee injury, and left to pick up the pieces is redshirt freshman BJ Daniels.

On paper, Florida State is better at every position except for maybe defensive back. Florida State is also playing at home and they just got done winning a road game against the highly touted BCS buster BYU. Also on paper there’s no way that the South Florida defense should be able to stop the running game of Florida State and the Bulls quarterback has no experience. Lucky for us they don’t play the games on paper, and I think that Florida State might be a little too full of themselves and the team is going to have a hard time playing at such a high level for a second week in a row. This is the team that only beat Jacksonville State 19-9. I predict the South Florida pulls the upset, I thik their defense is athletic enough to hang with the Seminoles and keep it close in time for a late game upset.

#22 North Carolina at Georgia Tech 12PM EST

Georgia Tech got embarrassed on national television last Thursday night against Miami. The Yellow Jackets vaunted triple option attack gained a paltry 95 yards on the ground and only one receiver caught any passes, needless to say they weren’t too thrilled to get blown out at home. The North Carolina Tarheels has the number 7 rush defense in the nation, so a major point of contention between these two teams is going to be whether or not Georgia Tech can run the ball. The formula is pretty simple, like the Pythagorean theorem! If Georgia Tech can run the ball, they can win, if they can’t then they can’t, also c squared! I’ll pick the home team.

#6 California at Oregon 3:30PM EST

The Ducks of Oregon pulled off the big upset against Utah last weekend at home. There are similarities between last weeks game and this game. The Cal Golden Bears are more skilled at virtually every position, just like Utah. Cal has a great running game and a solid defense, which is what Utah’s winning streak was built on. The difference here is the quality of the running back, Cal Junior running back Jahvid Best, who is a legitimate Heisman hopeful at this point in the season. Oregon’s biggest problem is the offensive line, who to put it nicely, has played inconsistently, and to put it not nicely, should be mopping up bathrooms at the stadium after the game to earn their keep.

Cal has done a great job of protecting the football thus far this year, if that continues they will win. If Oregon buys QB Jeremiah Masoli time to set his feet, then they will increase their chance of winning drastically. If Masoli is jumping around like he’s on hot coals all game, then fire up the mop and bucket. Expect Cal to come in run all over the Ducks.

#9 Miami at #11 Virginia Tech 3:30PM EST

For the second week in a row the Virginia Tech Hokies are playing in the game of the week. Last week they were able to pull off a last minute victory against a team that was overrated. Miami might be overrated as well but they have a history of coming into Lane Stadium and beating Tech at home. For some reason I can’t get over the fact that this is the first time since 2005 that both teams have been ranked for this meeting…That seems unnatural, this game used to be circled every year on everyone’s calendar, and now it’s like my birthday, worth noting, but you don’t circle the calendar.

Tech will need smart play from QB Tyrod Taylor, who will need to protect the ball and help out running back Ryan Williams, who will likely have problems finding holes against the swarming Miami defense. Miami is pumping Sophomore QB Jacory Harris as a Heisman guy, and so far he’s been great, he carved up Georgia Tech like a turkey, but I think the Hokies are less carve able but still quite turkey like. Miami has beaten two good teams, but I question whether they are really good or they have been beating up on ACC foes who have been down the last couple years. Hokies win at home, Miami hasn’t seen a defense this good yet this year. Have a good weekend!

College Football Weekend September 17-19

2009-09-17T18:17:00.000-04:00

It will be a very short write-up this week as I have been feeling a little ill the last couple days. Also the best games of the week are on Thursday and Friday this week. Comments below:

“I'm from Cincy Ohio but I will tell you this the Buckeyes are going to embarrass themselves again - getting trampled by the Trojans! Pryor is starting to get cocky and I bet he will be a flop all year. He'll be another what's that former RB who claims his $7K worth of belonging were stolen from his Gremlin?? Maurice Clarett, yup Pryor will end up like Maurice did. Hmmm...maybe another Ryan Leaf dud??? BTW, Buckeyes should not have won that Navy game!!!!!” – Jim
You were right about the Buckeyes, although it was a little closer then I thought, also you should be excited for the Bearcats this weekend who are playing Oregon.

“If it's not #1 on your radar (or your heart), it should be - the Elon Phoenix are an impressive 2-0 so far this season after 56-0 and 42-7 dismantlings of Davidson and Presbyterian, respectively. This week they travel to play the Demon Deacons of Wake Forest in a showdown of bucolic NC schools. I don't know what else I can say besides the obvious - this game is huge.” - Ryan
Elon is always number one on my radar, and good luck to them as they play a Wake Forest team that has been pretty good in the last couple years.

Thursday 17 September
#14 Georgia Tech at #20 Miami 7:30PM EST
The Georgia Tech Yellow Jackets are one of my favorite teams to watch in the entire country due the spread option offense that was brought to Tech by ex-Navy coach Paul Johnson. The spread option typically involves the quarterback and one ore more running backs running the ball on every play, and whomever carries the ball ultimately is decided in the middle of the play by how the defense reacts, it is my favorite college offense to watch, it’s like Dexter (on showtime) but for football.

The Miami Hurricanes coach Randy Shannon has vowed that if Georgia Tech is going to beat them then it won’t be by running the ball. Well as much as Randy means well, lots of people tried to stop the Georgia Tech running game last year, and it didn’t work out so hot for them, just like me when I go on dates. My guess is that it will be a hard fought game and the question will be whether Miami has improved enough this year to play disciplined defense. I’m really thinking Miami will win at home because of the tough game Tech had last week, but I like the option so much that I’ll go with Tech.

Friday 18 September
#10 Boise State at Fresno State 9PM EST
The Fresno State Bulldogs gave Wisconsin everything they could handle last weekend, eventually losing in overtime. Fresno hasn’t beaten a ranked opponent since 2004 when they defeated the now very humble Virginia cavaliers. But Fresno is always tough at home and Boise may be due for a letdown. The Boise State Broncos will need to rely on the efficient passing of QB Kellen Moore, who is currently completing about 65% of his passes.

I got this gem this afternoon, “Boise's run defense is legit this year and that is all Fresno has. I watched them play Wisconsin and their QB is a big time soft tosser who doesn't get the ball out on time on a regular basis. I am down big on Fresno this year as I hate that type of QB.”

Historically I almost always pick against Boise and I’m always wrong. My reasoning is usually along the lines of “They are due to break this winning streak.” or “I think it’s time for this team who are the second best of the decade to lose a game against a WAC opponent”. And it never works out for me. But this week I think I’m due, someone in the WAC will finally topple Boise because they are due to break that winning streak. It’s like betting against the Harlem Globetrotters.

Saturday 19 September
#19 Nebraska at #13 Virginia Tech 3:30PM
The Cornhuskers of Nebraska roll in to play the Virginia Polytechnic Institute and State University Hokies in Blacksburg, where fun goes to die. The major difference between these two teams thusfar is that Virginia tech has actually played a decent team and done well whereas Nebraska has been playing the Weak Sisters of the Poor University, and Slow Skinny Kid Tech, although to be fair the middle linebacker for the Sisters is a nun our of Texas who weighs 250 and runs a 4.3 second 40 yard dash. The main stat here is that Virginia Tech hasn’t lost a nonconference home game in the last 31 tries.

Trying to break that streak for the Cornhuskers is QB Zac Lee who has completed 74% of his passes thusfar. But he hasn’t seen a defense as tough as Tech’s who plays a fast swarming physical style of defense. Historically both teams pride themselves on defense, and much like my annual performance reviews, that’s exactly what this game could devolve into, a defensive struggle. I’m picking Tech for the exact opposite reason I’m picking against Boise, which is to say I’m inconsistent at all times. You could say that the only thing consistent about my thought process is the inconsistencies.

Other games I wish I had the energy to write about this weekend:
Texas Tech at #2 Texas – This was a great game last year and as much as it could be the same this year it’s more likely that Tech has just lost too much to graduation or the NFL to be competitive.

#18 Utah at Oregon – Little revenge game for Oregon who lost earlier in the year at Boise State, Utah will play a solid defensive game and pull a win out at Oregon.

Cincinnati at Oregon State – This game is an interesting match-up between two conferences that rarely clash in the Big East vs. the Pac-10. For those who are constantly arguing about strength of conferences, take a look at this one as both teams are in the upper tier of their respective conference.

College Football Weekend 12 September

2009-09-11T01:18:00.000-04:00

First things first, I need to apologize for getting this out so late this week, I’ll endeavor to get it done by Wednesday evening or Thursday early morning (west coast time, not your sissy east coast time). This was a short week because I was busy being tired Monday so I got nothing done other then going to the movies and watching some aliens get abused. But on to the football side of things, I had a rusty first week, I basically flipped a coin and went with Oregon, and if it was an MMA fight I would have been right, if we were scoring some kind of football game I was wrong. Also nobody can possibly hold that BYU/Oklahoma game against me, even the most diehard BYU fans didn’t call that one. I had someone try and tell me that they bet on BYU to win, it turns out that person had bet on BYU to beat the spread, and later on I ended up cleaning that person’s puke out of a sink…those two things are not at all related.

BYU’s defense was just much better then I think anyone predicted. Even before Sam Bradford got hurt they didn’t look sharp. In the end BYU’s defense just looked greatly improved from years past (more on that later). Shock I believe was the main feeling everyone had about that game.

This week holds one giant matchup, as well as some smaller games between schools that will look to put themselves on the map this year, normally I would have written about the game between Georgia Tech and Clemson but I just got done watching that game so I can’t retroactively predict who will win, oh well. I’m only going to touch on three games this week, which is kinda cheap of me but don’t be surprised if you a number of upsets this weekend, maybe South Carolina over Georgia, or Vanderbilt over LSU (who was not sharp against Washington last weekend). On to the comments:

“No mention of Bucknell at Duquesne? Pennsylvania is disappointed” – Dan
Oh I mentioned it, to myself, as a game that NOBODY was interested in, not even the state of Pennsylvania. We all know the battle for Pennsylvania happens this weekend when mighty Lehigh takes on Villanova. Also, I want everyone out there to know that Dan is bad at fantasy football and I don’t respect his ability to draft a team.

“I'm very excited that you decided to start these up again. However, you are already 0-1 and you also gained weight? Eat more salads! Lastly, no mention of Notre Dame? And you call yourself a fan...

PS I still think you're neat.” -Cali
I actually lied about the gaining weight thing L sorry. But in my defense I assumed that nobody would care. If it makes you feel any better the boxing trainer at the gym put me through one of the top 5 workouts of my life last night and today I can’t flex my stomach at all. Also Notre Dame is going to get mentioned this week. They looked sharp last week shutting down a team that had one of the better offenses in the country last year. Also I think you’re neat too /wink.

This next comment is about BYU from a huge BYU fan:
“I was totally stunned. I am still totally stunned. Usually my voice is gone by the end of the game. But I was so stunned, no sounds were exiting my mouth, just drool. I was catatonic. It was so awesome though - I could not believe my eyes.

I mean, we gave up 31 points/game over the last 7 games last year, routinely giving up over 350+ yards of offense. We got no big recruits on D. Basically the same personnel. And yet, we held Bradford & Co to 10 points on 96 yards passing for a full half. How????

Well, I've had two days to mull it over - 1) We made a clear philosophy change, and decided to go back to blitzing almost every down. Last year, we gave up the underneath routes and dropped 7 as our basic. I believe it allowed other offenses to get in a rhythm, and demoralized our defense over time. 2) Coach Mendenhall gave up defensive play calling to our D coordinator for the first time. Perhaps that had something to do with it also.

Man, it is serious euphoria in cougar land - lots of milk and cookies parties :-) There were so many hits on the main message board site cougarboard.com, that the site crashed. It was pretty funny.” – Brian
Couldn’t have said it better, let’s see if your boys can stay strong all year.

“I'm so happy. This is the sole source of information on college football for me, but at least it provides me with sufficient situational awareness that I understand the college football conversation around me! Thanks!” – Anonymous
Who the heck is anonymous! On to the games!

Saturday 12 September
#18 Notre Dame at Michigan 3:30PM EST
A week ago I wouldn’t have written about this game, but that was before the Notre Dame fighting Irish shut down Nevada with a great offensive and defensive performance. Don’t be fooled, the Irish should have won that game, but there’s no way that they should have dominated like they did by shutting out Nevada. It’s like me eating healthy on the weekend, there’s no way I’m going to make it a full Saturday without having something bad. The Irish were led by QB Jimmy Clausen who had more touchdowns than incompletions, and he has a heck of a tandem of receivers to throw to in Michael Floyd and Golden Tate.

The Michigan Wolverines in the meantime took on a bowl team from last year in Western Michigan and convincingly stomped them 31-7. Michigan runs the spread offense brought over by coach Rich Rodriguez from West Virginia so you will see a number of guys running all over the place on Saturday (they had four guys attempt more than one pass last weekend) although freshman Tate Forcier (from San Diego) has been named the starter.

Notre Dame’s defense isn’t likely to have another amazing performance when they go play in front of 100,000 people in the Big House at Michigan. That being said it’s going to be as tough as my mom’s Christmas fruitcake for Michigan to stop the vertical passing attack of the Irish, unless it rains. The Irish have a much better offense and defensive secondary, especially with some Michigan starters hurt. Notre Dame should eek out a close one on the road unless it rains in which case it will be more interesting than watching a dog try to pick up a ball that’s too big for them. Also in the interest of full disclosure, and before I stop receiving calls from her, I should mention that my mother has never to my knowledge baked a fruitcake. But you can be rest assured that if she did it would be appropriately tough.

Lehigh at Villanova 7PM EST
Well well, if it isn’t the real battle for Pennsylvania. Look for the courageous Mountain Hawks (Engineers) to try and rebound from their heartbreaking loss last week at the hands of…oh come on…Central Connecticut State???? (What the heck? How do I spin that? You guys only managed 184 yards of total offense…) Well anyway look for the pass happy Hawks led by Junior J.B. Clark to put the ball in the air early and often. The Villanova Wildcats, renowned cheaters and tax evaders, were able to squeeze a win against Temple last weekend with the leadership of junior QB Chris Whitney. I would never pick Lehigh to lose publically so I won’t finish this section. Instead I’ll stop it in the middle of a sentan

#3 USC at #8 Ohio State 8PM EST
I remember watching this game last year at an Ohio State bar with my friend Cara (who is from Ohio and is a huge OSU fan) and her husband Brian. The fans there were insane, cheering for every yard the Buckeyes were able to muster. And although they were not able to celebrate victory on that day, Cara and Brian should have something a little more important to celebrate this year, as they welcomed their first child (a boy who I’m sure ahs been properly attired in Ohio State gear by this point) a couple weeks ago. I write this because I forgot to send Cara a note a couple weeks ago congratulating her on the momentous occasion and wishing her all the best.

As much as I want for Cara and company to be happy again this weekend, standing in the way is the University of Southern California Trojans, who ran for 342 yards last weekend led by Junior Running Back Joe McKnight. In addition to a fearsome running game the Trojans have for the first time in their storied history opted to start a true freshman Quarterback Matt Barkley, who seems to be destined to follow in the recent line of USC quarterback success stories. Both of whom will be protected by the mauling offensive line of USC that according to some analysts has 5 out of 5 future draft picks in the NFL.

The Ohio State University Buckeyes had a less then impressive victory over Navy last weekend, needing to intercept a two-point conversion by the Midshipmen at the end of the game to seal the win. The gave up a surprising amount of rushing yards to the much smaller Navy team, much of it coming because the defensive line was pushed around by Navy. If they are to win this game OSU will need to rely on dual threat QB Terrelle Pryor, who will need to create some plays behind OSU’s physically underwhelming offensive line.

Last week I thought USC would just push OSU around and that would be the end of it. I still think that’s the case but since the game is at Ohio State and 100,000 plus fans perhaps the Trojans and their young quarterback will fold. Look for USC to run the ball again and again over the OSU defense. Also look for me to be barbequing a bunch of food during the first couple quarters of this game, stop on by if you are hungry.

As always comments can be e-mailed to me or posted on www.fatkidmusings.blogspot.com
Let me know if you know anyone else who would like to receive this column, or if you yourself have had enough of my nonsense.

College Football Weekend 9/3/09-9/7/09

2009-09-03T16:28:00.000-04:00

It feels like 1000 years since last football season. An entire generation of children has grown up and raised their own children since the last time I wrote this, and I’ve grown a year more cynical and jaded, but not wiser. In fact I promise 50% less insight and wittiness this year! And I know what you are saying, “Marty you were never that insightful or witty to begin with.” Well I’ve also gained weight, so there…In college football, as in life, things change albeit slowly sometimes. No longer is it the case where at the beginning of the year there are 10 or less teams that will contend for the title. Now you potentially have 25-30 teams in the nation that have a realistic chance at a national title.

Since we’re talking about change, it should also be mentioned that change is slow. Case in point: Utah. Utah was the only team in the country to go undefeated last year, yet they were not allowed to play for the national title. This isn’t the 70’s or 80’s or even 90’s anymore. Games are broadcast on networks all throughout the country. ESPN covers every game in Division 1 and it takes 15 minutes to glance over and see who a team has played. And yet the mindset still remains that only teams from big conferences can win the national title. So despite a larger number of teams having a realistic chance, still it remains unlikely that a team from a “less prestigious” conference will win a title. To date only the 1984 BYU team has won a national title in the modern era.

But enough fluff, on to this weekend itself. This is actually a fantastic weekend for college football. It’s the first weekend of the year and there are a handful of great games. Besides the games between ranked schools there’s always a couple games between high profile schools and smaller creampuff schools that end up being exciting or even ending in upsets (Michigan vs. Appalachian State) because the big teams haven’t quite found their polish and rhythm yet.

Thursday: September 3rd
# 16 Oregon at #14 Boise State 10PM EST
Sear your eyes watching the bright blue field on HD. Make it so that the rest of your football watching season is slightly blue. The Bronco’s of Boise State haven’t lost a home game since 2001, since then they have won 49 straight games at home and they have posted records of 12-1, 13-1, 11-1, 9-4, 13-0, 10-3, and 12-1 in the seven seasons since 2001. The Oregon Ducks are perennially disappointments to the high expectations they face, and were upset at home last year by Boise. Kellen Moore was the Broncos outstanding freshman quarterback last year who will look to continue running the innovative and high powered Boise offense. Oregon will look to start off their season with a win, which would be great because they have arguably the hardest schedule in the country, they have absolutely zero weak teams.

Expect this game to be exciting, not only because it’s the first big game of the year, but also because both teams have really fun offenses. I’ll pick Oregon to win, despite Boise’s long streak.

Saturday September 5th
Appalachian State at East Carolina 12PM EST
Appalachian State is one of the best Division 1-AA teams in the country, and their QB Armanti Edwards is a dual threat quarterback for the Mountaineers. However he hurt his foot mowing the lawn last month, so it’s unlikely we’ll see him. Despite that the Mountaineers always have a strong team, and typically start off strong, beating Michigan two years ago in the opener. The East Carolina Pirates were the darling giant slayers last year until they themselves fell victim to NC State, prior to that they had huge upset wins over Virginia Tech and West Virginia. QB Patrick Pinkney is a strong armed gunslinger who is hard to bring down.

With Armanti Edwards App. State probably has a real chance at the upset here, but without him the East Carolina Pirates are probably the stronger team, and they should win a close one.

#13 Georgia at #9 Oklahoma State 3:30PM EST
The Oklahoma State Cowboys were one of the best offenses in the country last year, just like every team in the big 12. Their spread offense led by QB Zac Robinson scored 20 points or more every single game. The Georgia Bulldogs lost their two best offensive weapons in QB Mathew Stafford, and RB Knowshon Moreno, both of whom are now playing in the NFL and making way more money then I will in my lifetime. What is left behind is a Georgia defense that is stacked against stopping the run, which will force Robinson to pass.

The key here is the OSU offense vs. the Georgia Defense, but the wrinkle is that OSU has two of the best punt/kick returners in the country. Normally I would favor the better defensive team, but not when playing on the road in the first game of the year. The Cowboys will do just enough to get by.

#20 Brigham Young vs. #3 Oklahoma 7PM EST
This game is an early test for two programs who would love to be in contention for a National Title. The BYU Cougars are year in and year out one of my favorite programs to watch because they run a pro style offense and generally keep their noses pretty clean. The Oklahoma Sooners have a very strong team both offensively and defensively and should be fun to watch. Both teams boast especially strong Quarterbacks in Max Hall for BYU and Sam Bradford for Oklahoma, both of which were two of the most prolific passers in the nation last year and Bradford won the Heisman trophy.

BYU is a great team, but they may have tried to bite off more then they can chew much like this monstrous apple I’ve been trying to eat all day (seriously it seems like I’ve been eating this apple for 45 minutes and it’s like half done and my jaw is tired). Oklahoma outguns and out-mans BYU in almost every category possible. They also have to travel the shorter distance to the game, which is apparently a very accurate decider for games played at neutral sites.

#5 Alabama vs #7 Virginia Tech 8PM EST
The Hokies of Virgina Polytechnic Institute and State University hold an all time record of 1-10 against the Alabama Crimson Tide. Leading the Hokies is the often shaky QB Tyrod Taylor, who has been at times a hot commodity and riding the pine (sitting on the bench) at others. QB Greg McElroy is the first year starter for the Crimson Tide, a team which lost both it’s starting running back and quarterback to the NFL. Historically both of these teams are fantastic defensively, and this could be all about defense, much like my performance reviews (ouch). Earlier in the week it was unclear if Alabama would have two of its star players available due to possible NCAA suspensions, however both have been cleared to play, but that may still serve as a distraction.

Based on the rule I set above for team being closer to neutral site winning, I’m going to have to pick Alabama, who is slightly closer to Atlanta than Virgina Tech.

Monday September 7th
Miami at #17 Florida State
It’s technically illegal to write a college football column and not mention these two teams playing each other. So I’m mentioning it.

As always I will post all the articles at http://www.fatkidmusings.blogspot.com/
If you would like to have a friend added to the e-mail list just shoot me their e-mail and I’ll make it happen. If you are tired of my sillyness and think poorly of me just let me know and I’ll remove you from the mailing list. Have a fun and safe labor day weekend!

Please God don't let it happen...

2009-03-05T09:39:00.005-05:00

Now that T.O. has been released from the Cowboys it is only natural for a Redskins fan to fear the ignorance that is Danny Snyder. I can already see the headline this afternoon that the Skins have signed Owens to a 5 year $65 million contract. Somewhere in Louden County Jason Campbell is crying...

<= A man with good intentions and shit for brains.

This is some bullshit.

2009-03-03T17:22:00.001-05:00

This makes me physically ill.

St. Dawkins Takes His Leave

2009-03-02T11:19:00.002-05:00

When you have a living Saint playing on your team, like the Eagles have for the last 13 seasons, it's probably in your best interests to resign him. Considering that 1) He was the NFL defensive player of the league in December last year and 2) He has more active starts then any other player in franchise history. What the heck Eagles? How can you not resign Dawkins?

OFFSEASON CHAMPS!...sigh

2009-02-27T10:05:00.002-05:00

God have I not seen this act 4 times before? My beloved Redskins have just spent 160 million dollars on 2 players in league with a salary cap. WHAT THE SHIT! I know they signed 2 good players, including the best defensive lineman in the league but come on, there were so many other holes to fill. That little fucking dwarf owner is killing a once proud franchise and has a mental midget as his GM just because he constantly kisses his ass. I might be auctioning off my fandom in the coming months so if you are interested let me know.

MLB 2009 Preview Part 1…

2009-02-24T17:26:00.001-05:00

Over the next few days I am going to be breaking down the 6 divisions and giving my preseason predictions for the upcoming baseball season. Feel free to disagree with everything I say and leave your feedback in the comments section. Now without further ado…

NL East:
Phillies
Mets*
Braves
Nationals
Marlins
(*Wild Card)

Best Player: Hanley Ramirez
Best Pitcher: Cole Hamels
Impact Newcomer: JJ Putz

Overview:

As Ric Flair once said, to be the man you have to beat the man, WOOOOOO!, and for that reason the Phillies remain on top. I know that the Mets revamped their bull pen and the Braves got Derek Lowe but neither of those moves scare me. While I do not like the Raul Ibanez signing for the Phils because Burrell gave them a nice right handed balance they still have too strong of a line up. Add to that the fact that K-Rod now lost 6 mph on his fastball and struggles to find the plate at times and I can’t think of a worse lineup for him to face then the Phillies. This leads me to my selection of JJ Putz as the impact newcomer. Over the course of the year I think his dominance in the 8th inning, his ability to go 2 innings and his reliability will be of more value to the Amazin’s then K-Rod.

When I look at the Mets offensively they have some really nice pieces in Wright, Reyes, Beltran, etc. but they are old at several others. Reyes is too lackidasical and Wright tries way too hard down the stretch every year. Add in the huge offensive holes in RF, LF, C and 2B and you have problems.

The Braves made some nice additions to their staff but don’t have enough fire power in that lineup. Garrett Anderson was a decent pick up but he is an every other day player right now.

The Nationals are the youngest team in the league and I think they might surprise a few people. (Yes I am a Nats fan) By surprise I mean they won’t lose 102 games again. If their young pitchers develop they could inch their way back towards .500.

Marlins, who the hell knows. They get rid of all their players every few years and always seem to reload. With Hanley Ramirez and Uggla they at least have some boppers in the line up.

AL East:
Tampa Bay Rays
Boston Red Sox*
New York Yankees
Baltimore Orioles
Toronto Blue Jays
(*Wild Card)

Best Player: BJ Upton
Best Pitcher: CC Sabathia
Impact Newcomer: David Price

Overview:

So the Yankees spent a billion dollars and the Red Sox signed some nice older pitchers and all of a sudden everyone forgets about the Rays? Sorry I guess to me a bunch of studs in their early 20’s and a ridiculously deep starting staff is better then overpriced old dudes. The Rays have Upton, Longoria, Crawford, Pena, Navarro all with another year of maturation under their belts and playoff experience. You think that beating the Sox in 7 games won’t carry over? I disagree. Now add David Price to the staff that already includes Shields, Kazmir, Garza and Sonnanstine and you could be looking at a dominant staff for the next 8 years. The additions of Matt Joyce and Pat Burrell also make them way more intimidating. Now I know you are wondering, how is BJ Upton the best player in the division? I see him as a 30/30 guy with a good average, crazy range in CF and a huge arm. Just like a carpenter I love tools and the kid is 24 and won’t hit his prime for 3 to 4 more years and already loves the big stage…scary.

Red Sox, great pitching but where do the runs come from? Youk won’t match last year, and who knows how healthy Papi and Lowell are this year. Add in JD Drews bad back and Elsbury playing without Crisps security net this year and you have some problems. Doen’t help that your catcher and captain can’t hit over .200.

Yankees, well they look good on paper right? Something tells me that AROD won’t be able to focus like Bonds did during this traveling circus in pin stripes. Jeter is a legend who shouldn’t be playing short anymore and should move to CF but apparently doing what is right for the team is blasphemous. Burnett isn’t in a contract year, Pettite is old, which Robi Cano shows up? Why is Joba starting? Will Jorge’s arm stay attached? Just way way too many questions here.

Orioles, man they have a chance to be really good in a few years. I love what McPhail has done with their outfield in Pie, Jones and Markaikis. Weiters is an absolute stud and should be the everyday catcher by late May. They have some good young pitchers coming up but could use a young corner guy in the infield.

Jays, the need to rebuild. Look for them to trade Halladay before the deadline for a huge ransom to a playoff contender. I wouldn’t expect him to throw as many complete games this year because if they were smart they would save his arm and make him even more attractive. I can see them getting 3 or 4 big time prospects for Doc.

So that’s my take, next up the Central Divisions.

Mixed Martial Arts Amateur Events

2009-01-15T12:39:00.002-05:00

This weekend I attended a amateur promotion in Las Vegas called Tuff 'n Uff and before I get into a rant about amateur MMA let me first talk about the event. It was amazing for a small promotion, they had good music, the ring was set up well, the fights were for the most part interesting and exciting, and they cycled through the fights as fast as possible. In all they went through 16-17 fights in the space of about 3 and a half hours. 6 of those fights were women's fights and they were all exciting good fights. I was impressed with the way things were run, the atmosphere and the way things ran as smoothly as possible. I was also impressed at how knowledgeable the standing room only crowd was in terms of the standup and cheering for takedowns. As is fairly typical of a US MMA crowd they weren't very patient or knowledgeable about the ground game but that's a staple of US crowds. All in all I was very pleased to be there and I can't wait to sponsor one of these events later!

The problem I have, and maybe it's just me, is that I don't really consider MMA a amateur sport. Wrestling, boxing, ju-jitsu, and all the other martial arts that feed into MMA have great amateur events and I like them all for what they are. But MMA is a fairly brutal amalgamation of all these amateur sports and from what I saw it doesn't incorporate headgear or anything to lessen the impact of strikes. I think with some changes it could be an amateur sport but it is going to need to set some stricter guidelines about what will qualify these fights as amateur.

The first step toward amateurization is that the refs have to be better, one of the refs was just awful, and he made mistake after mistake including raising the losers hand on more then one occasion. Second, they need to call knockouts much much faster. It's amateur, you want to protect the athletes as much as possible and prevent any possible injury or concussion. There was one fight where a girl took about 10 straight punches to the face and there was no call. She later got TKO'd but it was a round later and I just don't think an amateur should be taking too many consecutive strikes to the face. Lastly I'd really like to know what separates amateur status from professional. It seemed like the majority of the folks fighting had sponsors and logos all over their body and gear.

All in all I can't wait for the next event. I want to sponsor one. And I need to get over my hangups when it comes to calling something amateur or not.

The Feast of St. Dawkins Continues

2009-01-13T10:37:00.002-05:00

With their win at the Meadowlands the Eagles, led by Saint Brian Dawkins, have made it to the NFC championship. Thus we enter the 4th week of the feast of St. Dawkins in celebration. Hopefully the feast will continue for another two weeks after next sunday against the Cardinals.

St. Dawkins day

2008-12-31T13:23:00.003-05:00

The Eagles miraculously made the playoffs this year, despite having exceptionally dim prospects heading into the last day. From now on december 28th shall be known as St. Dawkins day!

Best comment I've seen in a month

2008-12-19T16:46:00.002-05:00

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how come everyone loves players who are just having fun out there but McNabb is smiling that goofy smile all the time and everyone hates him
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"I think Giants, Redskins, and Cowboys fans actually like McNabb more than Eagles fans do. "

I didn't write either of these, but it is 100% accurate.

College Football Weekend December 6th

2008-12-04T02:54:00.000-05:00

My last regular season column of the year, and it's been a fun year. Once again this year has shaped up to be a great example of why college football needs a playoff. I won't harp on that too long, but I will say that I get sick of not seeing games I and plenty of other people want to see. If you take the top 8 teams in the BCS this year, not one of them has played an unimportant game this year, thus those 8 if they made up a playoff would not have the regular season cheapened at all. More importantly I want to talk about the single most impactful (that's a word right?) game this week. Cincinnati Vs. Hawaii. Cincinnati's fate is sealed, they are playing the winner of the ACC championship in the Orange bowl in a game that will get the worst ratings in BCS history. Two loser teams. But the Hawaii game has a far more interesting twist to it, a Chubby Checkers style twist to it. http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/2008/writers/stewart_mandel/12/03/mailbag/1.html makes an interesting point, if Cincinnati loses, it could drop Oklahoma below Texas in the BCS rankings even if Oklahoma beats Missouri in the Big 12 title game. This could happen because Oklahoma beat Cincinnati earlier in the year but that win would hold less weight if Hawaii wins at home, which it often does. There are a elephant load more things that will figure into this but that would be really funny to see. That and a comedy about a super villain played by like Ricky Gervais or something. If Oklahoma loses by the way you would see a Texas Vs. the winner of the Florida/Alabama game this weekend probably.

Comments:
"Dude I watched that entire game (Georgia Tech Vs. Georgia), GT looked amazing. Not just Jones but the Fullback as well, he is a monster. They really played well and Georgia simply had no answer. I guess they just wore them down. The FB is a battering ram and just kept pounding them and eventually he broke one up the middle for 60 yards. They you mix in Jones and his speed and they have no answer on the outside. I know that the option isn't going to win you a ton of recruits but it was fun to watch with good players. That win alone, never mind his 7 others, got Paul Johnson a nice long leave from any hot seat because Tech never beats Georgia, especially in Sanford. They partied all night in Atlanta after that one. It was amazing to see the respect they players had for Johnson on the sideline and how they followed his every order. No wonder he won so much at Georgia Southern and the Naval Academy. - Forrest"
I can't believe they came back and won that, I turned it off at halftime. He's a truly unique coach and I think that he bought himself a decade with that win. It's been 8 years since the last GT win over Georgia? I love watching a good triple option, it's so sublime in a way. I think he gets folks to buy into his program, but let's be honest, him beating Notre Dame last year at Navy was the highest that team is ever going to get, so there was nowhere else for him to go. But he's a heck of a coach.

"It's a no-brainer for Myron Rolle, he will be able to say "I'm the toughest doctor EVER", and then he can prove it if people doubt him by tackling them into some beakers like Terry Tate, office linebacker. Regardless, I saw an interview on him (Rolle, not Tate) earlier this year, he's definitely going to Oxford. - Cali"
I think tackling people as a doctor is amazing, and I think that at best this guy would be a bad starter or a career special teams guy. So we'll see how he dies it. I think the Rhodes Scholarship it is, especially because I don't believe there's any point in competing for one if you aren't going to take it. It's a tremendous amount of work.

"Here's a fun fact: knowshon moreno (georgia), shonn greene (iowa), donald brown (uconn) are all from new jersey. What are they puttingin the water over there? - Cali"
Horse steroids and toxic waste, you knew that before you asked.

"Any thoughts on this: http://arstechnica.com/news.ars/post/20081201-drumline-meets-rock-band-360-in-black-college-football-game.html? - Andy"
I think it's an interesting concept, and that the historical black colleges present a unique look at football mixed with drumlines. But I wonder if it's too small a niche to hit, the college football games lag behind the NFL games as is, and the reason most people buy them is because they went to those schools which are huge state schools. These schools aren't that big and I don't think this game is unique enough to capture a huge market. Also I think it would be hard to capture that kind of atmosphere.

Games:
#17 Boston College vs. #25 Virginia Tech - The VT Hokies lost at Boston College 28-23 back in the middle of October. The question is, how much did playing at the BC Eagles stadium affect the game. 5 points? It's a long road trip from Blacksburg to Boston so you might be able to give the Hokies 5 points there. This game looks on paper like a tremendous time to take a nap, a game that could likely be dominated by defense on both sides. I'm serious, you can get some real sleep in while trying to watch this game. I won't be, I'll be giving my mother a tour of San Diego and having some excellent Mexican food at Miguel's Catina across from the Hotel Del Coronado, then we'll go walk on the beach and through the Hotel to see their annual giant Christmas tree. But if you live somewhere cold, then you can feel free to text me if you can't fall asleep during this game, which may not be a complete snooze fest, because it will probably be decided by less than 7 points. I've been told I don't give VT enough props, so I hope they win, and that they do so convincingly, because I had lots of friends who went there and they deserve to win a ACC championship.

Navy vs. Army - The annual meeting of these two service academies dates back to 1890 and will be played for the 109th time this weekend. The Navy Midshipmen have won the Commander In Chief's Trophy each of the past five years and are guaranteed to at least tie for the trophy. The Army Knights already lost to Air Force, so the best they can hope for is a three way tie. The overall series is 52-49-7 in favor of Navy, but Army is looking to bring themselves closer to even. This is a great game and you will rarely see a game played with more heart and determination, good luck to everyone involved. Also Navy will win.

#1 Alabama vs. #4 Florida - The winner of this game plays for all the chihuahuas, the whole enchilada, the big pinata, the some random thing, the National title. Pretty straight forward, not quite as straight forward as Thunderdome's "Two men enter, one man leave" policy but it is pretty certain. The Gators will need a big performance by QB and Heisman winner Tim Tebow and his variety of offensive weapons (I feel like I just wrote that sentence about a combination of Daniel Day Lewis in "There Will be Blood" and the Punisher...oh man I would totally go see Daniel Day Lewis in a Punisher movie). Alabama Crimson Tide has outpaced all expectations this year, and I personally have picked them to lose no less than 4 times, I have been wrong every time. But, I have this problem where I refuse to learn after putting my hand on a hot stove (something which I have done at least twice in my life). Alabama is the hot stove, and I refuse to believe they will win a big game. Despite all my musings about this game it should be fun to watch. Both teams have great defenses, Alabama has lost 9 fumbles and 5 interceptions in 12 games, which is pretty low, like smurf height low, or Rosie O'Donnell's new shows ratings low (I have to admit, I don't take enough shots at Rosie, maybe next year). Florida has a fun flashy offense, and speed on defense, so this game should be fun to watch.

#2 Oklahoma vs. Missouri - At one time I championed Missouri as the best team in the country, The Tigers had an amazing offense with QB Chase Daniel and WR Jeremy Maclin, I didn't think there was anyone who could stop them and they looked fantastic. But as it turned out they were more like a girl you see in the shadowy darkness, you think she looks really hot from afar, but as you get closer and the season goes on you realize she's just a hobo standing in some funny light, and she smells. It is by no means outside Missouri's reach to win this game, in fact it may be more likely then you think. The big 12 has a history of seeing upsets in the conference championship, and it has caused problems before and it is possible it could again. If Oklahoma loses then perhaps that vaults Texas into the title game, then you have a team that didn't play in it's conference championship playing for the national title. But we'll just have to see how QB Sam Bradford and the rest of the Sooners handle everything. Will we see the Missouri from the beginning of the year, or will we see a hobo, I'm betting on the hobo like always.

College Football Weekend November 28th-29th 2008

2008-11-26T20:27:00.000-05:00

Before I get to the games, I've gotten a bunch of questions about how I feel about the Big 12, the BCS controversy, and cake. Firstoff I love cake, it's delicious so that settles that. The Big 12 three way, which is not nearly as sexy as it sounds, creates a problem. What happened for those of you who were uninformed is that somehow it looks like the Big 12 south is going to end up in a three way tie between Texas Tech, Texas, and Oklahoma. Texas beat Oklahoma, Texas Tech beat Texas, and Oklahoma hammered Texas Tech so the tie breaker to decide who goes to the championship game for the Big 12 to play Missouri is BCS ranking. Currently Texas is the highest ranked of the three, but Oklahoma is right behind them with another ranked team to play this weekend. So if all three teams win this weekend then it's pretty likely that Oklahoma will be playing Missouri. However, the major gripe I have with this is that Oklahoma beat TT at Oklahoma, TT beat Texas at TT. Texas beat Oklahoma at a neutral site. So of the three games, the most meaningful to me is the Texas beating Oklahoma, because one of the measures of how to rank teams is which team would win on a neutral field, well in this case the question has already been answered for us. In my mind Texas should be playing for the Big 12 championship. Everyone assumes that whichever one of those three teams advances to the title game, they will win. But in truth Missouri certainly has the ability to beat any one of them, thus furthering the problem with the BCS championship game and it seems pretty likely that this would happen since the Big 12 championship has traditionally had it's fair share of upsets.
That brings us to the BCS controversy. There are really in my mind two big controversies this year. The first, and less talked about is the fact that there looks like there are going to be at least 1 if not two undefeated teams that will not be playing in a BCS bowl game. Currently it looks like Utah will get an automatic bid to a BCS bowl and Ball State (who still has to play in the MAC championship game which is not a gimme) and Boise State (who still has to play Fresno State which is not a gimme either). So that would mean that two teams with perfect records would be stuck playing in some no name loser bowl game rather then a huge one. Which I think is a shame. These three undefeated schools should play in the BCS game, and I understand that they aren't in a BCS conference, but they can't really help that, they can only play the schedule they have. It sucks because both Utah and Boise have won BCS games in the past when they were allowed to go. It's like the prom I guess, all three teams are pretty enough to be prom royalty, but since they didn't participate in enough extra curricular activities only one of them is allowed in to make out with the hot prom king and princes. The other two have to settle for getting felt up by their drunk overweight prom date while they sigh disappointed and keep checking the clock. Realistically Ball State will probably play Minnesota, which is a disappointing ending to a great season.
The far more prevalent BCS controversy is the fact that we're running kinda low on undefeated teams from BCS conferences. Only Alabama remains and most people think they are going to lose to Florida in the SEC championship game. So let's go ahead and assume that happens, and that whomever goes to the Big 12 championship from the big 12 south beats Missouri. That leaves us with 7 potential teams with 1 loss from BCS conferences to choose from for the national title game, Alabama, Texas, Oklahoma, Florida, USC, Texas Tech, and Penn State. Penn State is already finished for the year and they are Rose Bowl bound unless Alabama (twice), Texas, Oklahoma, Texas Tech, Florida and USC all lose, in which case they might play Utah in the BCS title game. But basically they are locked into the Rose Bowl and at this point it's probably too late to change that. But it still remains, how do you decide which of these 7 teams plays for the National title? Which one is better based on their one loss? We already described the Texas Oklahoma Texas Tech weirdness, so assume that if one of them wins the Big 12 championship game they would be one of the two teams. But then you have to say the winner of the Alabama and Florida game go to the title game as well and what would be a 11-1 USC team and a 11-1 Penn State team are left out in the dark. USC in fact would have to hope that Oregon State loses before the end of the year or USC would have to receive an at large bid to a BCS bowl and the Rose Bowl would be a boring matchup between Oregon State and Penn State, a game which Penn State already won easily this year. But at the heart of the question is which team with 1 loss is the most deserving? Or which loss told us more about the team?
Penn State lost because they played at Iowa and lost headset communications while Iowa won via ref interference (seriously one of the worst pass interference calls of all time) and a last second score. USC lost because they played at Oregon State and they couldn't tackle a guy who is like 5 feet tall. Texas lost because their freshman defensive backs couldn't handle the pressure at the end of the game. Texas Tech got completely outclassed in Norman by a motivated Oklahoma team. Oklahoma just got outplayed by Texas at a Neutral site. Florida lost because Mississippi had some variety of magic going for them on a Saturday afternoon. Of those losses I would say that USC's is bad because it might cost them the conference championship and therefore they shouldn't be in the title game. They also shouldn't have lost to a team that got blown out by another one loss team and lost to Stanford and Utah (who is undefeated). Penn State's loss is bad because Iowa isn't a great team, and it would almost be forgivable except for the fact that Penn State shouldn't have been in that close a game to begin with. So you are left guessing which of the teams left should be deserving of a national title game, the only thing that would solve all this is Alabama going undefeated for the rest of the season, then all this controversy would go away and all you would be left with is why when there were more then 2 undefeated teams left, did they not play each other for the national title game? Oh and also you are left wondering why the ACC and Big East are getting BCS spots. Fun stuff.

Comments:
"Navy should save the onsides kicks for Army! Ken"
Oh man this might be true, but can you believe how close that game became?

Friday Games:
Fresno State at #9 Boise State - The Boise State Broncos don't really have much to play for in this game other than pride. The have already won the WAC and they aren't going to pass Utah in the BCS standings so the best they can do is go undefeated and shake their fists at the BCS staff for not including them like an old curmudgeon shaking his fist for the damn teenagers to get off his lawn. Sucks but it's a way of life with no playoff. However if you get a chance check out Freshman Kellen Moore, who is astonishingly good for a freshman quarterback. He would be getting way more attention if this were any other year besides one in which the Big 12 has so many heisman quarterbacks. The Fresno Bulldogs have lost to Boise by an average of 29 points at Boise in the last 7 years, this game might be a little closer but the result should be the same. At the very least anyone who watches this game in HD will go blind from the bright blue Boise field.

Saturday Games:
#22 Georgia Tech at #11 Georgia - Rivalry game! It's a fun one too pitting the great Georgia Bulldog defense against the GT Yellowjacket triple option offense. Georgia really should shut down the run game which would leave the Jackets high and dry, which I guess as it goes for flying bugs isn't a bad place to be. A fun way for this game to go down is the traditional pro-style Georgia offense and NFL bound QB Matt Stafford have a shootout against the quirky triple option. But I think it's far more likely that Georgia wins for coach Mark Richt's 8th consecutive time in this peachy rivalry.

#4 Florida at #20 Florida State - Before the Florida Gators start thinking about national title hopes and beating Alabama, they had better get a handle on the FSU Seminoles. The most newsworthy thing about the Seminoles is in fact the performance of Safety Myron Rolle, who earned himself a Rhodes scholarship last weekend before he played in the second half against Maryland. FSU seems like such an unlikely place to have a football player with that kind of academic credential especially since half the team got suspended for cheating last year, but Myron will have to make the enviable choice whether to attend Oxford, or play in the NFL where he's projected to be a mid-round pick. For Florida, QB Tim Tebow looks to pad his own resume for a second Heisman by beating the Seminoles en route to a showdown with Alabama. He may have to work pretty hard considering how well FSU has played against the run this year, he may actually have to throw the ball more then 11 times like he did last week when he had a QB rating of 325.31 and went 9-11 with 3 touchdowns. Expect Florida to win, although you never know, maybe FSU will play beyond themselves in the hopes that Boston College loses and they get to go to the ACC championship. I was going to make a joke about some gators eating some native americans here, but I figured that was in bad taste, so I'll make a joke about the gators eating a delicious pumpkin pie, which tastes much better.

#23 Oregon at #17 Oregon State - "The Civil War" as this game has been dubbed, will determine if a 3 loss Oregon State team plays in the Rose Bowl as the Pac-10 champion, or whether a one loss USC team gets to go. The ducks of Oregon have had a pretty disappointing season. Which is pretty much the line used to describe every Oregon season, lots of potential, lots of expectations, mix in some failure, and you get Oregon year in and year out, also that describes me to a letter, damn. The Oregon State Beavers on the other hand have had a much better season then expected given that they started off the year losing to Stanford and then getting mauled by Penn State. The game may boil down to this, if freshman RB Jacquizz Rodgers plays then Oregon State has a great chance of winning, otherwise I expect this game to be much closer, likely ending in a victory for the ducks, which is a much more fearsome animal then a beaver. At least I think, have you ever been bitten by a duck? It hurts man.

#3 Oklahoma at #12 Oklahoma State - I don't even really feel like writing about this game, but the jist of it is that if the Oklahoma Sooners and QB Sam Bradford win then they will likely vault Texas and play in the Big 12 championship and then if they win that then National title game. If they lose to OK St. Cowboys and QB Zach Johnson then Texas Tech would get the honor of doing everything I just mentioned in the last sentence. Essentially it's going to be a shootout, because they both have really good quarterbacks, and not as good defenses. OK St. has a great chance to pull the upset, most think it's a forgone conclusion but don't be so sure, they beat Missouri earlier in the year and that could be the same recipie that stops the Sooners, but I still pick Oklahoma.

College Football Weekend November 20th-22nd 2008

2008-11-20T01:20:00.000-05:00

Happy almost the weekend notice to those of you who use this e-mail to judge such things (and I get comments every week to that effect). There are four points or themes or something that I have for this weeks column. The first is to inform everyone about all the fun stuff that is going on in College Football this weekend, this is the true rivalry weekend and thus the most fun weekend to watch. Second, to anyone who might be running a marathon this weekend, good luck, it sounds like absolutely no fun and I'm glad I have nothing to do with it. Third, to anyone who might happen to be my mother, happy birthday on Friday, aren't you impressed I totally remembered on my own and didn't even have to be reminded by one of my aunts? Incidentally your card might be late...because I didn't get a chance to go to the post office...and I don't know your address. Lastly I'd like to advise everyone that if you happen to be at the gym, and your roomate suggests you go to an ab class with him, don't go, it will be painful and humiliating and you know the effeminate gay guy teaching the class is thinking about how fat you are the whole time, also your stomach will hurt. So don't do it, I can't emphasize this enough, and if you keep going you are going to lose some of that portly fat guy look you've been perfecting for the last couple of years. Your first mistake was going to the gym to begin with. Also if your roomate suggests training for a triathlon with him, don't do it, it's even worse for your figure.

Enough of that, on to the football. This is my absolute favorite week of college football, the true rivalry week. It's when hearts and dreams are broken, it is when contenders become pretenders and then you eat a pretzel looking thing at halftime that gives you a stomach ache, or maybe it was that beer and malt liquor you were destroying before the game at tailgates...it's hard to figure out (btw Cubb thanks for buying me that pretzel a couple years ago when I had no cash on me and I had drank all that beer and malt liquor, you are a lifesaver). If you are the BCS committee you are praying that the season unfolds like so; Texas Tech and Alabama go undefeated and Utah, Boise, and Ball State all lose. That's it, pretty simple, it makes them look more valid. In my perfect world, Alabama, and Texas Tech lose, Florida, Oklahoma, Texas, USC, and Penn State all lose, vaulting Utah and Boise State into the national title game, and Ball State smokes Alabama in a bowl game and frogs learn to fly and a horse in memphis learns to play the piano. Between the two lurks what I call reality, a dark and dreary place where both Texas Tech and Alabama lose leaving Texas to play Florida in the national title game, also Utah and Ball State lose and Boise plays Oklahoma in the a rematch BCS bowl. For the record this is what I believe will happen.

Comments:
"Football is a barbaric sport marty, I can't believe you watch it. - Justin"
Ahem, then I guess that's why you spent all sunday night watching the redskins game with me?

"My question is this: at what point do you put Wake Forest in the national championship game based solely on how great they are overall, or what I like to call their "AWESOMEITUDE!!!", and don't worry about how many games they've lost or their strength of schedule or the fact that in 9 games they've figured out how to get into the end zone in only 2 of them. AWESOMEITUDE! - Ratty"
My head exploded when I read this, and also my spell check. But the good news is, that Wake could still win the ACC, and thereby go to a BCS game. Then again there are like 14 other teams in the ACC that could do the same thing. All I'll say about is that I'm getting a little weary of all the sister kissing going on in the ACC, someone needs to step up and just win the conference, but more importantly (and this is where half the people here stop reading forever) it's possible that right now every single team in the 12 team conference could go to a bowl game...thus making them the best conference in the country...I just threw up.

"Dude - the nursery rhyme theme was EPIC - you must do that again! That was hilarious - Brian"
The only thing epic about it was the amount of epic fail it contained. Also the biggest challenge was to remember all of the fables and such I knew. For reference, I apparently know alot, and this knowledge has garnered me the nickname "Pooh Bear" at the office. Because on our weekly quiz I was able to correctly guess the name of the forest in which Winnie the Pooh lived, but I was unable to remember how many ounces of beer there were in a pint...

Games:
#23 Miami (FL) at Georgia Tech - ACC game between two potential ACC champions, the Miami Hurricanes and the Georgia Tech Yellowjackets. Root for Georgia Tech because you hate Miami and GT's coach was the former coach at Navy and he brought his triple option attack to a major conference. I love it. Flip a coin in this one, it's basically any one's guess. Dr. Coin predicts the Yellowjackets in a close one.

North Carolina State at #22 North Carolina - Intrastate rivalry game (although I think Duke is UNC's real rival) between the UNC Tarheels and the NC State Wolfpack. If you get a chance, and I know I've said it a bunch of times this year. Take a look at UNC's QB Cameron Sexton, he has the throwing power of 20,000 Juggs machines. His pass would put a hole through my chest if I gave him the opportunity to pass to me. This is also one of the few games in the ACC where a team that could win the conference is playing someone that can't, so root for chaos, root for UNC to stay in the mix in the ACC. I'll take UNC in overtime.

Washington at Washington State - The 1-10 WSU Cougars VS. the 0-10 Washington Huskies...has there ever been a worse state for college football in one year than Washington? You might be asking yourself, "Marty, why are you writing about two terrible teams who have one win against a Division 1-AA team between them?" It's simple really, I do it because it's funny to me that two teams could be this bad in a major conference. It's also funny to me that I will be sitting through the entirety of this game, at a UW bar after I watch the Lehigh game at another bar. So to educate everyone, the Huskies are the ones in the purple who suck and whose coach has been fired at the end of the season, the Cougars are the ones in maroon who suck and who's coach has been fired at the end of the season. Unlike the NFL this game can't end in a tie so we won't have to see something as bad as the Philadelphia Eagles did last sunday...

#15 Michigan State at #8 Penn State - This is not the same Michigan State team that got hammered in the first game of the year against Cal, it does however remain to be seen if this is the same Spartans team that got hammered by Ohio State a little over a month ago. The Penn State Nittany Lions meanwhile would need a miracle to get to the national title game, but they still need to win this game to go to the Rose Bowl. Whomever wins this game would be guarenteed at least a share of the Big 10 title and if Penn State wins they would go to the Rose bowl, if the Spartans win they would have to hope that Ohio State loses to Michigan to get into a BCS bowl. Penn State has a crazy talented team like Anne Heisch crasy, they seem to be stacked all the way from running and passing threat QB Darrell Clark, to RB Evan Royster, and WRs Deon Butler and Derrick Williams. Michigan State will depend on RB Javon Ringer who is the third leading running back in the entire nation. Penn State has the advantage in every position group besides running back, and some might even argue that they are better there. I think the game will come down to whether MSU can stop the Penn State running attack, which I suspect they cannot, I think the Nittany Lions and legendary coach Joe Paterno finish strong, and take themselves to the Rose Bowl, which Joe naps through.

Boston College at Wake Forest - A game between two potential ACC champions, the Miami Hurri...I mean the BC Golden Eagles and the wake Forest Demon Deacons. Flip a coin in this one, it's basically anyone's guess. Dr. Coin predicts the Deacons win a close one at home. The shame of it being that the most exciting part of Wake Forest, their all-american kicker, has been hurt the last couple weeks and he probably won't play.

#14 Brigham Young at #7 Utah - Lots of people predicted at the beginning of the season that the Holy War (yes that is what they really call the game) would determine which one of these teams would be BCS busters, and whomever wins this does win the Mountain West conference. Unfortunately the BYU Cougars and QB Max Hall stumbled earlier in the year against TCU. But that doesn't mean it will be a cake walk for the Utes, Hall is one of the nations most efficient quarterbacks (don't you feel like this is true of every single BYU QB?) and they can run the ball pretty darn well too. But they don't run nearly as well as a Utah team who has allowed RBs Darrell Mack and Matt Asiata who have averaged almost 5 yards a carry all season. The biggest concern in this game is if the BYU defense, who has allowed a poor 4 yards a carry, can stop the Utes rushing attack, well that might be the second largest concern, the first being why any football rivalry would want to call itself the Holy War, of which I won't get into the intricacies of it, but I will say that I hope nobody sustains any injuries from any bible-like books that might be hurled. I'll take BYU to shock Utah out of a BCS bowl.

#20 Pittsburgh at #19 Cincinnati - It's sad when at this point in the season the only 4 teams I've seen play from the Big East is UConn (because they played twice on friday night), Cincinnati (because they were on the big ten network against Oklahoma), West Virginia (because they played somebody who was on out here during not primetime) and Pitt (because they beat Notre Dame when no other games were on and I was folding laundry). Needless to say, I don't have alot to say about these teams because I haven't seen them much, and while I could lie to you and read about them and try to say things that I don't really know or understand since I've not seen them. I'm going to go a different route, I'm going to pick the winner based on whom has the prettier uniforms. The Pitt Panthers wear gold helmets with a kinda blueish-purple uniform with white. The Cincinnati Bearcats run a black with red scheme. Although I like red and black, I feel like those colors are overdone, they are so passe, so I like the Panthers, because of their pretty gold helmets that remind me of summers spent in Prague! (note: i've never spent a summer in prague)

Florida State at #25 Maryland - A game between two potential ACC champions, the Maryland Terrapins and the FSU Seminoles. Flip a coin in this one, it's basically anyone's guess. Dr. Coin predicts the Terrapins win a close one at home. The most fun in this game is it literally could go either way, Maryland at times has been the worst team in the ACC and at other times has been the best team in the ACC, they are in a way a metaphor for the rest of the league. Sometimes good, sometimes bad, always confusing.

#2 Texas Tech at #5 Oklahoma - The Sooners of Oklahoma against the Red Raiders of Texas Tech. No other game has more potential impact on who plays in the national title game than this one. This is essentially the Apex game from which all title possibilities flow forward from, it could validate the BCS's existence this year, or damn it to heck. If TT wins, they likely would get into the title game even if they lost the Big 12 title game. If Oklahoma wins it would be scramble to see whether they or Texas would get a nod to the National Title game assuming Texas wins out and wins the Big 12 title game. Graham Harrell is the QB of the Red Raiders and he will throw to and take Heisman votes away from his amazing receiver Michael Crabtree who will take Heisman votes away from Harrell and thus neither of them will win the race. QB Sam Bradford of the Sooners has had a great year and could lead the Sooners to a much deserved BCS game with a win. It is a very evenly matched game, but one can't help but think that Texas Tech would struggle on the road, since all their big games have been played at home in front of a riotous crowd which the team has really fed off of. Much has been made of how poorly Oklahoma's defense matches up against Texas Tech, and I'll just reiterate, that they were a much different team at home this year then they were on the road. So I'll predict a win for the home team.

Lehigh vs. Lafayette - What some of you may have been waiting for all year, my yearly Lafayette bashing session. Well guess, what, I'm going to rise above it this year, I'm not going to crack wise about all of the Lafayette teams fat promiscuous mommas. I'm not going to point out that their dumb HD screen fails to take away from the fact that they're stadium sucks and is ugly. I'm not going to mention how the school is in a shitty part of Easton and the people of that town have lost all decency and morals. I could mention how the Leopards always have black and dirty spots and that is a reflection on their souls, but I'm not going to. I could go on a rant about how the Lehigh Engineers are the best representations of scholar athletes in the country, but that would make me seem biased, which I am clearly not to either school. So instead I will just wish that the 144th playing of "The Rivalry" will be played with the best of sportsmanship, and hopefully Lehigh will overcome the 4 game win streak that Lafayette has going.

College Football Weekend November 15th, 2008

2008-11-12T23:39:00.002-05:00

First I'd like to apologize to last week, it was lower then even my low standards of excellence have come to accept, I will never again work nursery stories or fables or whatever into my column, not by the hair on my chinny chin chin. I will also need to stop making guarantees, after this one: The only guarantee that I will make is that only things that can disappoint me will happen ala Penn State making me sad. That was the worst pass interference call of all time. The refs hate Penn State. So if we apply the logic that only things that disappoint me will happen then you will see Utah, Boise, and Ball State all lose, Penn State doesn't go to a BCS game, and Ohio State somehow leapfrogs it's way to the title game against Alabama and afterwards, when Alabama has won, they both decide to join one another to form THE University of Alabama State Crimson Buckeyes, and they higher Bobby Petrino as their QB's coach and Chuck "The Chest" Amato becomes their linebackers coach. Then they make a law that there can never be a playoff and furthermore all non-BCS conferences will not be eligible for BCS games. Then they will outlaw the option and mandate scholarships for all football teams. To switch topics really fast I may be completely wrong minded about this but I think that losing to a lesser opponent is less of a deal then losing to a big name. Take Oklahoma and Texas, and then USC, Penn State and Florida as examples. The last three got caught in trap games where they lost, barely, and they have won handily every other game they've played. Whereas Texas and Oklahoma both lost to quality opponents and they have beaten all the lesser teams they've played. But in my mind I grade them as worse losses then the three teams that got trapped. Am I just dead wrong about this? Probably. Lastly, Why couldn't Penn State not just win out? I mean how many times do they have to get jobbed by the refs in their one loss? The last time they did it granted it was during the Texas/USC national title game but still. Anyways, this week has a pretty weak slate of games, we're talking puppy dog weak, which in football is not nearly as cute and cuddly.

Comments:

"I gotta admit that I am fairly disappointed with LSU this weekend. They certainly played a great game against a great team, but I just cannot believe that a Les Miles coached team has dropped a 3rd conference game. I expected them to come out and take it to Alabama. I guess this means that LSU is really down this year as a team.

Look for Florida to show up in the national championship game. There is no player in the land more focused and more determined than Tim Tebow right now. They are really spreading the ball around this year, so he may not put up Heisman numbers, but no QB in the nation leads an offense like Tim Tebow. Urban Meyer has these guys poised to make a run. Florida versus Alabama for the SEC title and the right to play for a national championship. The upcoming weeks should be fun! - Darius"

LSU I think is just missing that killer instinct. There is no way they should have lost 3 conference games, and they got blown up by Georgia, a team that I haven't thought was that good all year. So we'll see what happens, it's certainly going to be exciting. I'm not so sure about Florida either.

"So the number 1 team in the nation goes to a place where they have given up over 50 points twice and have no QB and needs overtime to win and that guarantees them to go undefeated in your mind? No way, The Fighting Tebows are going to knock them of in Hotlanta. Texas Tech is ridiculously good on offense and I think their offensive line should win the heisman. I am serious, why shouldn't they? Graham Harrell could take a nap in the pocket wake up make pancakes and the complete 75% of his passes without anyone breathing on him.- Forrest"

They are good, but he's going to need to squeeze some fresh orange juice with those pancakes, and what about making a sandwich for later? I want to see them beat Oklahoma in Norman, and then I'll have faith. LSU may have gotten blown out.in those other two games but they were a couple plays away from being very very close. So in a way my perception of Alabama has changed so that I actually think they have a chance to go undefeated the rest of the year. They took everything LSU had to offer and still won.

Games:

#25 South Carolina at #4 Florida - Lots of people have said that they think Florida has a great shot to get to the national title game if they can beat Alabama. Well it's not quite so simple, first they have to beat the Gamecocks and former Florida coach Steve Spurrier, who has won only once in the three times he's played Florida, but he's kept the games interesting every time, so who knows what the "Ole Ball Coach" has cooked up, maybe some pizza! South Carolina is lead by QBs Chris Smelley and Stephen Garcia, who split time at the position last week, Garcia is a better athlete while Smelley is a better student of the game, which basically means he's bad but he knows the offense. The Florida Gators, are of course lead by former Heisman winner Tim Tebow who is as much a threat to run as he is to pass, and WR/RB/Butcher/Baker/Candlestickmaker Percy Harvin. This game is billed as the South Carolina defense versus the amazing Fighting Tebows offense, and although the Gamecocks might have the better defense, their offense is severely lacking and the last time I checked (last week) the Gators defense was pretty darn spiffy themselves. What confuses me is how a 7-3 team who hasn't beaten any ranked teams this year is back into the top 25? The only winning teams they've beaten were Wofford, who is a division below them, and they only won by 10 points, and umm Kentucky and Ole Miss both of whom have padded their schedules for the most part more then my sister padded her bra in middle school (although to be fair Ole Miss did beat Florida, but I wanted to make that joke work). But enough run on sentences. Florida has the firepower, they have the will power, and they have the…power power? Florida should win this game with ease, which would set them up for a final 2 games against Florida State and then Alabama in the SEC title game, hopefully for all the marbles and a chance to play for the BCS title.

The ACC - Rather than talk about all these games individually, I thought I would just have a quick prospective on the nation's most confused conference. As of now the ACC is still completely wide open with 9 teams that could possibly win the conference. In the Atlantic you have Florida State, Wake Forest, Maryland and even Boston College who could win that part of the conference and end up in the title game. On the coastal side there's North Carolina, Virginia Tech, Georgia Tech, Virgina, and Miami who could all with the conference, so basically as long as you don't go to Duke you are still in this thing. I can't tell you the ins and outs of who needs to win what and go dancing with whom while somebody else gets stood up for a lunch date to win it all. The only thing I've been able to learn is that Boston College, Maryland, and Virginia Tech all control their own destinies and if they win out they are in. It's a confusing league, with a plethora of possibilities and trying to predict what is going to happen is like herding cats, or trying to control a rambunctious puppy. Noth Carolina plays Maryland this week and all I can tell you is that Maryland is the least consistent team in the country, winning all their games against ranked opponents but getting stomped by Middle Tennessee State and the two big schools from Virginia. So if you go by that trend then the Terrapins are going to beat the 16th ranked Tarheels. Thursday night the VT Hokies play at Miami, a venue which has traditionally cause much stress and heartbreak for Tech fans, but who knows this year. A black cat could run across the field when Miami has the ball and then an errant pass gets intercepted by the ball boy who takes it to the house for 42 points and a Tech win. All possibilities are open, we just have to hope that there aren't any holes in the fabric of the universe during that game. BC also plays at Florida State in prime time, for that game I predict the Cinncinnati Bengals will be victorious.

Harvard at Pennsylvania - In the old nasty haunts of Franklin Field in Philadelphia these two Ivy league foes will face off to determine who will be most likely to take second place in the conference. Both teams lost to Brown so if Brown wins out then they would win the Ivy league. But that doesn't take away from this game, where the 5-3 Quakers face the 7-1 Crimson. Harvard are lead by Senior QB Chris Pizzotti who's highlights this year include him paying off the refs against Lehigh, and that time the guy he wanted to win the presidential election won. Penn on the other hand are lead by their defense, and a reasonably stout running game that goes for about 100 yards a game. As in all Ivy league games, this contest will be a game of wits, grit, strategy, grade inflation, and undersized athletes. If Harvard puts up over 27 points the game is won, because Penn has not once this year broken the 27 point barrier. Harvard has beaten most everyone Penn lost to pretty easily, so I look for the Crimson to roll in this game.

There aren't really too many other games that stick out to me as really sexy to watch. Which usually means there are going to be upsets, could be in any number of games but if I had to guess I'd go with these:

Mississippi State at #1 Alabama - Alabama is going to lose a game this year or so help me I will get a tattoo of Nick Saban on my chest

#6 USC at Stanford - A terrible Stanford team shocked USC last year, is this team terrible enough to be overlooked by USC?

# 7 Utah at San Diego State - You don't just come in here and try to enjoy our beautiful weather without paying for it…oh you do, everyone does…ok then have fun then, get a fish taco.

#9 Boise State at Idaho - Boise is in the unenviable position of bing behind Utah in the rankings, which means if they both go undefeated then only Utah is guaranteed a spot in a BCS game.

#3 Texas at Kansas - If Kansas hadn't lost to Nebraska last week I would have wrote about this game, but they did and I'm lazy so you know how that goes.

College Football Weekend November 6th-8th, 2008

2008-11-06T01:22:00.000-05:00

A slew of incredible games this week (starting on Wed night with Ball State vs. N. Illinois) and we might be witness to the same number of top 25 teams losing as we were last week given that so many of them are playing one another, although it may not be possible to get the level of excitement and quality finish we got at the end of the Texas/Texas Tech game. I mean if I'm a Texas fan I've got to be hating life. They had so many opportunities to win that game, but an interception slipped through someones hands, they miss a tackle here, the strong safety sneezes while running and tripped over his untied shoe and got his foot stuck in a bucket while he stepped on a rake. I mean the Texas band practically ran on the field. Also let's not forget (or ever forgive) Tulsa for breaking my heart by losing to Arkansas, how dare you, now I'll be a bitter old maid till the end of my days. It's tough to take sometimes, and already this year my heart has been broken by BYU, TCU, and Northwestern. Who's next? Boise State? Utah? Ball State? Please ladies, I need at least one date to the dance (although lord knows I've been to enough dances stag under the premise of "not wanting to be weighed down by a date" as a cover). So I'll just keep on dreaming about these undefeated Cinderellas.

Comments:
"Are you watching the texas v texas tech? !!!Me too!! Now i can make a clever contribution to your weekly email!!!- Tess"
You've finally made it after all!

"Oh it's not over!-Spike/Wiley"
How foolish i was to declare that Texas/Texas Tech game over, you were right, it wasn't over until the very end, and I'm sorry.

Games:
#12 TCU at #8 Utah - This game is on Thursday night. This is the beginning of a hellish stretch for the fairytale Utah Utes. They face defensive power TCU this week, San Diego State the week after, and then they finish the season at ranked darling BYU. What these boys need is a fairy godmother (yes before you groan I am planning on doing this entire update using fairy tale jokes) and it could be in the form of the Utes two big running backs Darrell Mack (which just sounds like the name of a big running back, or, perhaps a troll that lives under a bridge?) and Matt Asiata. The TCU horned frogs have a defense that ranks first in the country in rushing defense. They are like the deadly walls guarding the magical lamp that is TCU's ticket to the BCS game…But despite everyone I've seen in the national media talking about how Utah can't overcome the speed of TCU's defense, something about the determination of this Utah team is impressive. A commitment to the run and a strong defensive effort at home will be the key to Utah's victory, and it doesn't matter that they match up especially poorly against TCU. Sportswriters have raved about TCU's defense but they got killed by Oklahoma, embarrassed frankly, and Utah has more to play for. The just need to pull the thorn from the lions paw to be successful, think about it!

#11 Ohio State at #24 Northwestern - I'm taking half of this game as my academic game of the week (for Northwestern obviously not for Ohio State). Northwestern has been the darling of the college football sportswriters this season partly because so many of them went to the journalism school there. They are led by senior QB C.J. Bacher, who has terrible stats but somehow has continued to win games in spite of himself. But the Wildcats haven't really defeated any team of consequence other than Minnesota and it very much could be a case of Paul Bunyan, where they never faced anyone till he lost to a chainsaw. Well the Ohio State Buckeyes are that chainsaw, and they have great offensive weapons in the form of RB Beanie Wells and freshman QB/Scrambling Machine Terelle Pryor. Northwestern got beat down earlier in the year when they faced a real running game against Michigan State, and the Buckeyes have a defense to match that running game. OSU may not be having the season it thought it might, but there's still an outside chance for them to get into the Rose Bowl if either Penn State somehow loses, or they place second in the Big 10, and Alabama or Texas Tech lose. It's a tangled web but just like the Ugly duckling, OSU has to keep plugging on until they turn into a swan. No trip down the rabbit hole in this game, just stark reality witch ends in a loss for the Wildcats.This is the week. This is the time that the Alabama Crimson Tide finally get off the pile of mattresses and realize they didn't feel a pea (they're going to lose ok, this is hard I don't remember that many fairy tales, we're going to have to start resorting to letters to the editor of Penthouse or Men's Health soon…those are fairy tales right? I mean I don't read or own and Penthouse's but they usually start with "I never thought this would happen to me…") and thus they do not get to be a princess.

#1 Alabama at #16 LSU - The LSU Tigers have been beat up in big games this year, they got beat down by Florida, they got beat down by Georgia and their porridge was too cold :( But I have a feeling that this is the week, now is the time for the Alabama Crimson tide to go down. And if it's not this week, then it's next week, or the week after it. This is going to be your typical SEC game, lots of hitting, lots of bruising defensive plays, and lots of surprise. Alabama's offensive line is one of, if not the best in the country, and running behind them is junior RB Glen Coffee who leads the nation in caffeine content except for CGNU QB Mike Redbull. LSU runs a two quarterback system, putting in either Andrew Hatch or Jarrett Lee at any given time. Alabama has a bruising defense, as fast as any in the country and big on the defensive line. But you never know, this is Alabama coach Nick Saban's return to the team that he once lead to a National Title, they remember his fake words, and his lies, and his cries for wolf. And they are out for revenge, there's some leftover hostility and it's going to take considerably less than a prick from a rose bush to make the Tigers go quietly into the night.

#9 Oklahoma State at #2 Texas Tech - It would be unwise to assume that the Red Raiders of Texas Tech are going to go unbeaten the rest of the way. Can The Cowboys of Oklahoma State be David to their Goliah? The tortoise to TT's hare? The Wall to their Humpty Dumpty? (Ok that last one is a bit of a stretch) I don't think so, I think the Cowboys are a good squad, but they would need to put on a performance like they did against Missouri to win. Meaning they would have to pressure the heck out of QB Graham Harrell so that he didn't have time to throw the ball. They would also have to stop the run game, which Texas was almost unable to do last week, and QB Zach Robinson would have to play out of his mind. It's not impossible, but TT just looked too darn good at home last week. If someone is going to give them a poison apple it will probably be at Oklahoma in the last week of the season. But who knows, Ok. St. has faced two big spread offense teams already, they beat down Missouri's Chase Daniel and held Jeremy Maclin in check, maybe they can do the same against TT's Michael Crabtree, who doesn't need to have Rapunzel lower her hair to climp the tower, he can jump that high (this is hurting me more then it's hurting you).

#21 California at #7 USC - The Cal Bears shocked Oregon in the rain last weekend, but sadly for them the Trojans aren't Chicken little and the sky isn't going to fall (it's also probably not going to rain). Southern California got its rain quota for the quarter out of the way last Saturday so it looks like a nice Southern California afternoon (they are all nice by the way). The Trojans need QB Mark Sanchez to continue firing away to all of USC's offensive weapons. Cal will have to hope that their QB tandem of Keven Riley and Nate Longshore can come through against a very tough USC defense, although it's not clear who will be starting both will probably see time. Hard to gauge which Cal team will show up, will it be the ones who beat Michigan State and Oregon? Or the ones that lost to pathetic Maryland? Since 2001, the Trojans under coach Pete Carroll have never lost a game in November, they are 24-0. Cal will pull out all the stops and do some fun things and maybe make a game of it for a half, but in the end as Agent Smith said, "You hear that Mr. Anderson?... That is the sound of inevitability... It is the sound of your death... Goodbye, Mr. Anderson... " Well Cal is Neo, and unlike in that fairy tale (it counts ok...) Cal won't be coming back to the dead because nobody beats USC in November. USC wins big, Cal might keep it close for a half.

New Hampshire at Villanova - The 7-1 New Hampshire Wildcats at the 6-2 Wildcats of Villanova. The one thing they should do for this game is burn the mascot of the losing wildcat and that team should have to pick a new mascot, and then they could get Northwestern and Kentucky involved and have a Wildcat Playoff. Then some mysterious Wildcat with a moustache and a hood could come spilt an arrow in twain with another arrow to win it all and excape capture, we'll call him Sir Wildcat of Arizona. But these are two pretty good schools fighting for their playoff hopes and trying to win a conference. The Wildcats are lead by sophomore R.J. Toman, who is completing 70% of his passes, but he'll have to outplay the Wildcat's own sophomore Christopher Whitney. New Hampshire runs a pro style passing offense, and they usually have a handful of great possession receivers who run great routes, their running game consists of a lot of draws and trick plays. Villanova runs more of a traditional offense from the I-form, relying on the big offensive linemen to open holes. I'll take Villanova since I used to drive by the campus every time we used to visit my Grandfather. Should be a good game between to very academically competitive schools.

There are a number of games that I'm not writing about because of time this week, but I'd like to list them because they should be great games:
#20 Georgia Tech at #19 North Carolina - UNC's Cameron Sexton has a cannon for an arm, check him out if you get a chance. I'll take the heels at home.
#13 Georgia at Kentucky - Can a decent Kentucky team catch an emotionally drained Bulldog team that lost to Florida last weekend? I say no.
Virginia at Wake Forest - If it hadn't of been for the other game I could have used this as my academic game of the week. However now I'll just say that UVA wins.
Cincinnati at #25 West Virginia - Huge game in the Big East, which has become a national afterthought. WVU wins at home.
OK, that's all for me this week, but remember what Aesop told us in The Ass and the Lapdog, "Clumsy jesting is no joke"

College Football Weekend November 1st, 2008

2008-10-31T10:35:00.000-04:00

Boy I'll tell you who has an interesting schedule the rest of the way. Utah. They've got New Mexico this weekend and TCU and BYU left on the schedule. Interesting, that would put them right up there in terms of number of ranked teams played. Sorry this is late, and I didn't have time to write a huge rant at the beginning of the week. But there are a couple of fun games this week to watch and some really good questions. Also I ran out of time to write about all the games I wanted to this week. Also my roommate's cat just threw up on his brand new coffee table. Also (last one I promise) I've been getting these two questions a bunch lately: If Alabama, Texas or Tech, and Penn State all go undefeated who gets leftout ala Auburn from the title game? Any change in your Heisman ballot this week?
Penn State would be the odd man out. They have played all their big games and they end their season 2 weeks before Texas would and 3 weeks before Alabama would. Texas has Kansas 2 weeks from now and then the championship game. Alabama has LSU, Auburn, and then the championship game. So if Alabama somehow goes undefeated (sadly justifying the money spent on scumbag Nick Saban) then it would be them and Texas and the Big 10 loses out on not having championship game.
Heisman:
Colt
D. Johnson Tulsa
Graham Harrell
Kellen Moore (Boise)
Tim Tebow

Comments:
"Has the mass adoption of the Spread, both run and pass versions, made it harder for NFL teams to adequately scout defensive players and figure out how they would translate to the next level? The lack of big D tackles and the lack of games where linebackers are navigating through other players as opposed to playing in space has got to make it difficult. Big time colleges are now recruiting a type of player not necessarily tailored to the NFL game.- Forrest"
Hmm, I actually think that it's made it harder to scout offensive players. I think there will always be a place for big d tackles in college football I don't think they've become harder to scout, it's always been very difficult to figure out how they will pan out. Linebackers are a different story. I think the spread is messing them up because all of a sudden they have to do so much more then a traditional backer. They have to cover receivers and stop the run depending on the play. They also have to play the option. It's got to be really tough to scout those kinds of guys defending against those types of offenses.

"If you were a blue chip recruit coming out of high school this year what would your top 5 schools be and what factors do you consider? In this case you are a QB with a good arm and decent mobility. - Forrest"
Tough to tell because I honestly forget what it was like being an 18 year old kid. What mattered to me then is a little bit of a mystery, I guess if my goal was to go to the NFL then this is how I would proceed:
How good the school was would be a top 5 factor. National exposure would be another factor. The coaches themselves would be important and so would their history of using quarterbacks and how many of those guys went to the next level. The first school that comes to mind is USC, so they would probably be the top of my list. Cal has also had a history of sending QBs to the NFL. UCLA might be on my list because Norm Chow is there now. I might take a look somewhere in the Big 12 just because of how good they are looking now, but not Oklahoma, maybe Missouri or Texas, but probably not texas because they've only had Vince Young. I'd stay away from almost everyone in the ACC and for that matter anyone in the country that runs the spread even though that's where I would excel. I think I would choose USC 1, Cal 2, UCLA 3, LSU 4, Ohio State 5.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MMl6LaXEqvQ&feature=related - Spike
Wow I hadn't seen that, what a way to end a game, how bad do you think the punter feels about himself after that? It's the last highlight for those that don't feel like watching the others.

"I'd hate to be the rotten apple that spoils the bunch - does your manlove of Elon athletes extend to the golf team as well? Officially I graduated from Elon College, not the new "University," so my mascot will always be Mr. E, the Fightin' Christian. Too bad your prediction didn't come to pass, as mighty Wofford took us out on our home turf. - Ryan"
Of course it does! I'd forgotten that my favorite golf pro went to Elon! My apologies.

"GODDAMMIT MARTIN! It is Thursday morning, I am sick and don't want to be at work. The least you can do is to email out a little wit to let me know the week is almost over. - Peter"
1000 pardons good sir. I got extremely busy at work this week and was actually acting manager for a time, so I wrote this up and then forgot to put the finishing touches on it, like sending it and such. I hope you live to feel better.

Games:
Miami (FL) at Virginia - If the Miami Hurricanes were ranked 18 in the country then there's no possible way they could beat the Virginia Cavaliers. Virgina has beaten the two teams ranked #18 in the last two consecutive weeks. Virginia is led by Sophomore QB Marc Verica who will hopefully be able to focus his team of felons (Virgina's fullback will be facing felony burglary charges), and overcome the team previously known for misdeeds, Miami. Virgina are the new Miami, but only when it comes to getting arrested, not when it comes to winning national championships. Miami on the other hand will have to rely on QB Robert Marve and QB Jacory Harris. Both teams are 5-3 and this game will have a profound impact on which undeserving team from the ACC gets to go to a BCS game. UVA could have a multi game lead going into the last 3 weeks of the season where they will have to beat Wake Forest, Clemson, and Virginia Tech. Good luck Wahoos, may you all not end up in jail, I think you will win a close hard fought ACC (inferior to the rest of the big conferences) game.

#18 Tulsa at Arkansas - This game is compelling just because of what could happen to the BCS bowl picture. The Tulsa Golden Hurricanes come in 8-0 and if I had a Heisman ballot then QB David Johnson would be on it. Incidently one of David's favorite targets is WR Damaris Johnson, I only mention it because it's confusing when you are looking up stats and trying to select the correct player and it's doubly confusing when a Wide Receiver wears a Quarterback's number (#3 in this case). The Arkansas Razorbacks in the meantime haven't been great this year, but they are the only really big team on Tulsa's schedule (they play Marshall for the last game of the year). A Tulsa victory would perhaps warrant their rankings in the top 15 and if they remained undefeated, a berth in a high profile BCS Bowl game. Tulsa has put up unreal numbers the entire season, Arkansas meanwhile has a piece of $hit for a coach (he has questionable ethics and loyalty, he's actually a heck of a coach). This game also won't be on where I live so I'm just going to predict Tulsa wins, and hope for the best, since I can't watch it.

#8 Florida at #6 Georgia - This game could be a lot of fun to watch. I didn't think the Georgia Bulldogs had a very exciting offense till I saw their game last week against LSU in which they put up 52 points and watched RB Knowshon Moreno (spelled it right without looking) run for almost 8 yards a carry. The Georgia defense is also very exciting to watch and they directly accounted for 14 of the 52 points last weekend. The Florida Gators on the other hand, just run one of the most entertaining offenses ever to hit college football. Nobody knows what they are going to do and they also happen to be led by a young man named Tim Tebow. Tim as you might recall won a small award last year called the Heisman, and although I didn't have him in my top five the last couple of weeks, after last week he's in and the Gators are thinking revenge after Georgia's disrespectful end-zone celebration last year. This game will be as fun and entertaining as watching and young Fred Astaire and a young Cary Grant fight each other to the death (I can't really explain why that would be entertaining but just go with it). Being an SEC game you'll see lots of explosive speed and hitting and an ugly bulldog on the sideline. Yes this game will have it all, except a happy ending for Gerogia, who will lose when they get distracted by a clown on the sideline getting hit by an errant Mathew Stafford pass in the head and then dying to a brain aneurysm. Matthew is the QB of the Bulldogs and I don't think he's as good as people say. We'll find out Saturday!

#1 Texas at #7 Texas Tech - The big question in this game is who will come to play defense. These are two hyper productive and amazing offenses and thusfar nobody has really slowed down the Longhorns of Texas, and very few teams have been able to halt The Texas Tech Red Raiders. The young Texas defense should have enough to slow down Texas Tech. Texas QB Colt McCoy had an off game last week and he still completed 84% of his passes in a win against Oklahoma State, he had an amazing first half and a lackluster second half, which would cost him if it happens again. Texas Tech on the other hand has been impressive the last couple of weeks but prior to that they had a string of close calls and wins that snatched victory from the jaws of defeat. The Texas Tech QB Graham Harrell is equally as exciting as Colt, but the TT run game is a bit lackluster compared to what Texas has been able to muster. So I think Texas will roll. Texas Tech has been lucky thusfar and they shouldn't be undefeated. Watch this come back and bite me in the butt when they win. The Big 12 is like the weirdest conference in the country, all of a sudden they all have really prolific spread offenses, it's like the entire league evolved in a completely different direction in all of 2 years. It's actually kind of eerie. Defense was a staple of the Texas national title team a couple years ago but I just don't think most college programs have found a way to defend the spread.

College Football Weekend October 25th, 2008

2008-10-22T22:50:00.000-04:00

Let's start by saying that I'm thrilled that the Phillies are in the World Series, I'm really proud of them. I'm actually watching game one right now and the Phillies are winning 2-0. But all these good feelings are just going to make it more devastating when the Phillies make the Devil Rays the greatest story in sports history (and yes I know they aren't the Devil Rays anymore). It's Philly sports, they will lose in some embarrassing way, and I'll get more bitter with more grey hair and a further receding hairline. I'm a total stud I know. But enough about the Failies, I have plenty of time to lament the fact that nobody in a major sport in Philadelphia, I need right now to lament the fact that both Missouri and BYU have betrayed me. Now the best I can hope for is a Tulsa, Ball State, Boise State and Utah to be in the BCS. It keeps me awake at night dreaming about a Tulsa VS. Ball State BCS game, holy oxymoron batman! Oh I'd also like to take a moment to thank everyone who called me out for being a wuss while I was sick and not writing a column, I hope you all lose your cell phones and have to get everyone's number again. If you get a chance go over to the blog and check out the talk I had this week about college football, some good stuff in there.

Comments:
" I'm disappointed in you. Get worse soon. What happened to you doing review of your previous week articles? I liked hearing you mock yourself on a weekly basis (to a greater degree than you do now). Did you see/hear about the JMU game last week? That was more re-donkey-lous than that donkey from Shrek. - John"
I figured that I was TOO DAMN GOOD and that there was no need to review my previous success every week. That makes me seem cocky and it falsely showed that I was lacking humility. I don't want to have to remind everyone how good I am at everything I do, that's unnecessary. I mean for goodness sake I went 4 for 6 last week and I could barely type. Also it was too much work and it was causing me to spend too much time in front of my computer instead of doing stuff outside...which has not changed one bit but now I don't have to write two columns a week. Also we don't usually get JMU games out here in the land of magic, and I'm too lazy to figure out what happened.

"Current Heisman:Colt McCoyTim TebowBradford (Can not be ranked ahead of McCoy because McCoy beat him)Thoughts? - Forrest"
My Heisman would probably be something like:Colt McCoyDavid Johnson (Tulsa)Zach Robinson (OKst)Graham HarrellKellen Moore (Boise)All of which are on undefeated teams, which is what I'm using at the moment to determine the difference between all the great quarterbacks this year, there are no great running backs (I know I know I'm all starstruck over the quarterbacks, a girl can dream right?). Winning all your games isn't a requirement for the Heisman, but it helps, and frankly Colt McCoy could cool off only a little and he would win. He's completing more then 80% of his passes, which is silly, I don't even get my garbage in the trash 80% of the time. You could tell me that Colt McCoy was a magical wish granting alligator who wants to take a friend and the woman of his dreams to an all expense paid trip to the moon and it would be slightly more believable than a QB completing over 80% of his passes.

Games:
#8 Texas Tech at #23 Kansas - The Kansas Jayhawks are a team of contrast, the contrast being that while they have a decent offense, they play good defense about as often as my father watches Gilmore girls...which is to say infrequently but not every week. Their QB Todd Reising ins any other year would be a Heisman contender, he's accurate and smart and he makes plays. But in this, the year of the Big 12 Quarterback he's probably the 5th or 6th best QB in that conference. One of the QBs who is higher rated then him is the Texas Tech Red Raiders Graham Harrell, who put up silly numbers by virtue of playing at TT. Texas Tech is one of those undefeated teams that people don't think should be undefeated, they've played poorly against teams they should have crushed and have been underwhelming. Kansas at home coming off a decent game against Oklahoma is just the cure for Texas Tech's ($5 dollars to whomever tells me the full school name of TT off the top of their head) unblemished record. They've played better against the good teams they've played and their uniforms look better. Which is how I pick all my football games.

#6 Oklahoma State at #1 Texas - I'll be the first one to admit that I was shocked at how bad the Longhorns of Texas beat down Missouri. It was like they were playing a team in division 6 for the first half of the game, Missouri had no way to stop them. It made me feel strange on the inside, it made me feel like Missouri, who I had talked up all year, put a dagger in my back, slashed the tires on my bike, and kicked my non-existent dog. But then afte the shock wore off I realized that this is the time of year (about 6-7 games in) that all the young players who are starting for the first year are just now getting the defense or offense. They are just now figuring out the bigger pictures and what they should be doing at all times. Texas has a very young defense with lots of new starters this year, those guys may have turned a corner in the last couple weeks, and that may be what has made them so darn good. Either that or I didn't see enough Texas games prior to last week to see how good they are, whichever. That being said, the Oklahoma State Cowboys pulled off the upset a couple weeks ago against Missouri, sure it wasn't as dominant a win but they did a decent job of bottling up Missouri's spread offense. The difference being that Texas has a much better running game and defense, and they are playing at Texas. QB Zach Robinson has been tremendous for OkSt. so far this year, but the cattle drive stops here when Colt McCoy and the Longhorns go on a stampede and drive the Cowboys back to the Ranch??? (I guess that's where cowboys live, I was going to say Brokeback Mountain but that's not terribly politically correct).

#2 Alabama at Tennessee - I'm not going to write much here other then to say that this is the week the young Alabama team blows it. I just want to get that out there so that I can say I called it if it happens because it's going to happen one of these weeks. Tennessee has not met its preseason expectations and they are just waiting to surprise someone. Plus it's the SEC and who the heck knows what's going to happen. If Tennessee doesn't win then I'm going to keep betting against Alabama until I get it right and then I can be all, "I told you so." And people will go, "Oh Marty you totally called that!"

#3 Penn State at #9 Ohio State - It's easy to assume the Ohio State Buckeyes will win this game. After all the Penn State Nittany Lions haven't won there in forever and they already broke their streak for the year when they beat Michigan last week. The problem with Penn State getting a bunch of hype is the fact that everyone they've beaten has proven to be paper tigers, so they haven't really shown how good they could be, maybe they will against OSU. OSU has freshman QB Terrell Pryor who doesn't know the taste of defeat or the disappointment of not getting what you want for Christm...I mean hasn't lost a big college game that he's started. He's got a great arm and can run like crazy, but he hasn't seen a defense as good as Penn State's except for the couple of snaps he played against USC. Penn State in the meantime has terminally underrated RB Evan Royster, who as one person I know mentioned, gets less publicity than any running back in the country considering that he's run for over 9 yards a carry and over 100 yards a game this year. That's pretty impressive. This game is a tough one to call, on one hand Penn State is the better team in my mind, on the other hand I don't like them to break to losing streaks in a row. So I consult with my colleague Dr. Coin. who thinks that Penn State will win in a close game. if OSU does win, it will likely be because RB Beanie Wells had a huge game against a Penn State, who were busy defensing Terrell Pryor.

#4Wofford at #3Elon - These top 5 powerhouses (Division 1-AA) face off in North Carolina in what could be a preclude to some postseason playoff action. The Elon Phoenix are known to me only because their head coach, Pete Lembo, who was the coach of Lehigh during my time there. Lembo has taken the Phoenix from the bottom of the SoCon standings to becoming a championship contender and top-25 program in the FCS national polls as well as made noticeable improvements in the areas of academic progress, recruiting, alumni relations, home game attendance, scheduling, community outreach and fund-raising. Every person I've met who played for Elon has been a tremendous person and so I think very highly of the school. The football team itself has won all but one game this year, beating the likes of traditional powerhouses Georgia Southern, Furman, and the Citadel. The Wofford Terriers are also a perennial powerhouse in Division 1-AA and they have also only lost once this year, they also boast the most frightening mascot in college football. This will be an exciting game, and expect to see the highlights nowhere, I'll take the Phoenix's to rise up and burn the awful little dogs.

10-20-08 Give and Take

2008-10-20T18:06:00.003-04:00

Forrest:
OK Marty,

Here are my thoughts on college football right now, use them how you see fit and I would be pleased to hear your response.

I think Texas is the unchallenged #1 team in the nation right now. I think they would run Alabama off the field and I think Penn state, while better suited athletically would struggle. Reason being Colt McCoy is so darned efficient its is hard to stop that offense. When you complete 80% of your throws and you can run those are video game type numbers and attributes. Add that to the fact that Texas's DB's are young and getting better every game, also playing in the lead allows them to be more aggressive and not get tight and over think themselves. They will be tested by Kansas and Tech but I think that Defense overall is just too good to lose.

Alabama lacks the explosion on offense to win the National title and maybe the SEC. Yes they put up big numbers against Georgia during the blackout but have struggled against some mediocre teams. When you're constantly playing to the level of your opponent someone is going to catch you.

I love Penn State, I think they have all the tools to win the title and I think a PSU vs UT game would be amazing, like Vince vs USC amazing, however I don't know that they can make it past this weekend. PSU has always tripped up in a big situation recently, (see Michigan '05) and OSU for all the loathing I have for them is starting to look really good. Pryor is legit and Beanie is healthy. I think PSU might have the athletes to contain then, and going against the spread every day in practice helps, but playing in the horseshoe is never easy. By the way does any back that consistently gains over 150 yards a game get less pub the Royster?

Current Heisman:
Colt McCoy
Tim Tebow
Bradford (Can not be ranked ahead of McCoy because McCoy beat him)

Thoughts

Marty:
Texas was damn impressive saturday night, I'm not sure who could stop that offense. But it's exactly the same way I felt about Missouri's offense a couple weeks ago and we all saw how that turned out. So I'm not entirely sure that it's going to stay that way. Oklahoma State had a good game plan against Missouri, maybe they will against texas as well. Kansas doesn't have the skill on defense to hang with texas, and I think texas tech is just going to get bottled up by that texas defense. Even if they beat everyone they are still going to have to win the big 12 championship game, it would be at a neutral site against probably missouri, playing in austin may have had something to do with the way missouri played, they just seem to suck at austin.

Someone has to catch Alabama, I don't know who it's going to be, but it's going to be bad when it happens. Could even be Tenn. who have got to be pissed about where they are at the moment.

I'm torn on Penn State. I see them one week and they are great for a whole game. But against michigan if they don't score at the end of the first half I think it's a different game. I don't think they go crazy in the second half and I'm not sure they win at all much less look as impressive as they do. Penn state really has to beat OSU this weekend to make me think that they could play well against texas, I'm even leaning toward favoring osu in that game. The problem with Penn State getting a bunch of hype is the fact that everyone they've beaten has proven to be paper tigers, so they haven't really shown how good they could be, maybe they will against OSU.

My heisman would probably be something like:
Colt McCoy
David Johnson (Tulsa)
Zach Robinson (OKst)
Graham Harrell
Kellen Moore (Boise)

Forrest:
I think I pretty much agree with everything that you said. Also, I will agree that you should be leading your team to an undefeated season at this point. But that begs the question of how do you define the heisman? Is it the best player in the land or simply the MVP of the best team? I tend to see it as the best player in college football not necessarily the MVP of the best team.

Marty:
I agree with your definition, but at this point in the season all the best players in college football are on one of the many undefeated teams.

Forrest:
Hmm, so you wouldn't consider that Tim Tebow is one of the best players in the land? Nor Sam Bradford? Is McCoy goes 24-28 for 300+ and still loses is he no longer in the fight for the trophy? You couldn't tell me he is somehow less of a player then Boise's QB at that point.

Marty:
First of all, the best quarterbacks statistically in the country right now are all grouped at the top with such ridiculous numbers that the only way you can tell some of them apart is the fact that some have only wins and some have a loss. If McCoy had a great game and lost he would still be on the list. Tim Tebow on the other hand played poorly in their loss and several other games. He had alot of yards in that loss but he made poor decisions on key plays. I think he's a great player, but the fact that he played poorly in the loss to Miss takes him out of my top 5. Boise's QB on the other hand is completing over 72% of his passes and is averaging 267 yards a game with 13 td's and 3 int's. He also threw for 386 and 3 tds at Oregon when they were still ranked. Tim Tebow (who's team is only ranked higher by virtue of their preseason ranking) is completing 62.4% of his passes and is only averaging 2.5 yards a carry and is averaging 236 yards (rushing and passing) a game. I love Tim Tebow but he's not having a heisman year at this point, in the case of Boise he's actually got running backs with better stats behind him...

Forrest:
Have you watched Boise play? I just do not feel good about that guy, too stiff and robotic. Definitely not a next level guy.

Marty:
Being a next level guy is not a requirement for the heisman...and by virtue of the fact that their the only team that plays eveyr wed or thursday for the last two weeks and for the next 23 weeks I've seen and will continue to see quite a lot of Boise. If stiff and robotic gets you a 72% comepletion rate I'll take it any time.

Forrest:
I want to see how he looks against Utah and Fresno.

Marty:
Luckily he only plays Utah State and not real Utah. Boise, Ball State, Tulsa, and Utah all in BCS bowls baby.

Forrest:
That would be horrendous. I am a big conference elitist I think. While it was fun watching Boise upset Oklahoma there is just something about watching games like USC vs Texas or Penn State vs Alabama that get me excited.

Marty:
Utah and Boise did it in the past. History tells us that there's no way all 4 of those teams make it out undefeated. But what if they do? I mean then all your at large bids should go to them. Shame we don't have a playoff.

Forrest:
Every argument against a playoff is ludicrous. It needs to happen.

Marty:
Your 2008 National Champions Tulsa Golden Hurricanes

Forrest:
That would be a travesty and here is why. When an underdog wins March Madness or the College World Series they have actually earned it and beaten the best teams. This makes their story even better and more inspiring. If a team like Tulsa beats a 1 loss Big 12 team and gets the title while there are 3 other 1 loss major conference teams then you do not know that they really earned it. Just like USC didn't earn it because they didn't play Auburn.

Marty:
That's why there needs to be a playoff. There can still be bowl games, but there's no reason to not have a playoff. All the other divisions do it. USC earned the title under the system, it's not their fault that Auburn wasn't ranked higher in the pre-season.

Forrest:
Well that is why there shouldn't be preseason rankings. They shouldn't rank teams at all until week 7.

Marty:
Exactly. Also they should give me more money and I should have a girlfriend.

College Football Weekend October 11th, 2008

2008-10-08T23:40:00.000-04:00

Far far shorter column this weekend, based solely on my schedule. I've got so much time and so little to do...wait, reverse that. (Charlie and the Chocolate Factory with Gene Wilder reference). I really wish I had more time this week to dedicate to writing this column, but sadly I am busy saving orphans from burning school buses and helping poindexters learn how to dance. I'll say this, as I sat at the bar last weekend doing my laundry and watching the Vanderbilt game, I was shocked to see them not screw up the game. I figured they would throw an interception, or fumble, or let up a big play. They didn't, and I'd like to apologize to all the patrons of the bar who had to listen to me predict that they would. I'm sorry. And to atone, I'm going to buy you all a beer (beer can only be redeemed during happy hour at Dave's Tavern in San Diego).

Comments:
"How can teams like Ball State even be ranked? Period? -Chris"
Because they've won six games without losing? But more importantly how aren't Northwestern and Tulsa ranked. I'll tell you why, it's because the Big 12 plays powderpuff schedules and has like 14 teams that haven't lost.

"What offense will Auburn run this week? Since they fired their offensive coordinator and all. - Spike"
I'm shocked that they fired their coach. Like, surely somebody must have pointed out to them that running the spread offense well, in any conference, takes a couple of years to implement. Nobody runs it well at first, it usually takes a year of implementation and a year of recruiting to get the people you need. Not to mention in the SEC you have to face the country's toughest defenses every week, so there it might take longer. I just think it was a bad decision to let him go that fast. They will be running the I formation primarily this weekend where they put up 100 yards total.

" Sure, you predicted the Wisconsin loss to Ohio State. But did you know the Wisconsin Band held the key to victory, and better yet, did you know that they were going to be suspended for the game!?- Tuna"
I did know that they were going to be suspended, and as you said yourself, " !!!!THE GREAT AND WISE SWAMI KNOWS ALL!" Well it's a little thing I like to call clairvoyance. It let's me get half price coats at Joseph Banks once every 15 seconds when they have a new sale. But in all seriousness, I actually think having a band play during a game is important. It, like all music, brings reactions and other important emotions to not just the fans but the players. I know when I was in high school, our band was so good that you just got so darn pumped when they played. When I would block and the running backs would run into the end zone music was our reward. And it was good.

Games:
#5 Texas vs. #1 Oklahoma - I think the most perplexing thing about this game, is why did they change the name. The Red River Shootout conjures images of dustbowls and cowboys and long held grudges that never fade. The Red River Rivalry is lame and at most it makes you imagine that perhaps someone was slightly dirty when they took a bath in that river. The more pressing issue is that neither of these teams have played anyone yet that has showed me how good they are. It's true, the Sooners of Oklahoma have played TCU and Cincinnati, who were both decent. But both games were just such horrible beatdowns that it's hard to get a read on how good QB Sam Bradford really is. Texas has played nobody, so you can't even say that QB Colt McCoy has gotten better because he's been playing against JV teams. Analysts have said that this is a more physical Teas defense then they've seen in the past decade or more, but that doesn't seem right because the toughest meanest defense I've ever seen was the Longhorns when they won the National Title in 2005. I predicted earlier in the year that the cows would beat the settlers, but I'm floundering a little bit (or as they say in Texas being yeller...at least I think they say that). Oklahoma is good and they should win but this team really reminds me of the same type of team earlier in the decade who played nobody all year, and then Jason White and the rest of the team got killed in the National title game. I think people may have forgotten a little bit about those debacles, but watch it happen again.

Notre Dame at #22 North Carolina - In a beer haze late Saturday night I had the Notre Dame Fighting Irish in my top 25. And just like waking up to an ugly chick next to you that you don't remember, I woke up next to a list that I couldn't believe I'd done. So I did what I might normally do in that situation (it's been 4 years at least by the way), I cooked the list breakfast and then promised to call and then never spoke to it again. But here we are some weeks later, and who did I see at the bar but Notre Dame playing against the ACC's own North Carolina Tarheels. This is a game that ultimately boils down to the defenses and who can play the pass better. But I'm not going to elaborate on that and instead I'm going razzle dazzle and distract you to talk about the two quarterbacks in the golden domer's QB Jimmy Clausen and the umm light blue domer's QB Cameron Sexton(who I assume is starting). Jimmy has the worst hair cut I've ever seen, it's like a throwback to the 80's because it's long and busted and obnoxious, here's a tip Jimmy, cut it. Sexton has recently had to register his arm as a weapon since it was found to be a rifle.when he stepped off the bench and shot up Miami. I think North Carolina wins, otherwise look forward to a week of every college football columnist in the country talking about the luck of the Irish and touchdown Jesus and revenge since they play their old coach next week. Also I'm awarding $5 to whomever can tell me off the top of their head what a Tarheel is.

#23 Michigan State at Northwestern- Does it seem fair to you that Northwestern has not lost and Michigan State who has only lost once is ranked? Well life's not fair and Northwestern are going to find that out when the Spartan's RB Javon Ringer runs all over them in a blowout for Michigan State.

#17 Oklahoma State at #3 Missouri - I've been saying for weeks that Missouri is the best team I've seen all year. They are amazing on offense with QB Chase Daniel and WR/RB/KR/Chef/Drummer Jeremy Maclin. The tigers have put up some sickeningly good offensive stats this year. All that means is that I'm going to have to back peddle really fast when the Oklahoma State Cowboys win. So go Missouri, let me please sit atop my high horse for at least one more week. This game brought to you by Smith and Wesson, who always enjoy a good shootout.

#4 LSU at #11 Florida - You would have a tough time believing that the Gators of Florida would be able to overcome the LSU Tigers when they were unable to put up much offense again Ole Miss. But the Tigers soon to be in the NFL starting defensive tackle threatened the health of Florida QB and former Heisman winner Tim Tebow. They gators must be furious at that, and they will play with the intensity and fire of 1000 suns. This game will be a knock down dragout brutally slugfest (see that just makes me think of slime) between two SEC defenses that are hungry, in some cases quite literally. Florida has a better offense then Auburn, who almost beat LSU a couple weeks ago, and WR/RB Percy Harvin is due for a huge game this year. It's been almost two decades since the defending national champion played the previous year's winner, Dr. Coin takes the Gators in a big win at home.

#6 Penn State at Wisconsin - This game will go a long way in telling us who will win the Big 10 this year. If the Nittany Lions of Penn State win convincingly then they are a solid bet to go undefeated through the rest of the conference. If the Wisconsin Badgers (who I believe will have their band back) win then it's pretty much a tossup who wins the Big 10. Look for Fairfax Virginia's own WR Deion Butler to have a big impact on the game for Penn State. He'll probably be playing all the special teams return positions so he could break the game wide open at any point. Wisconsin will be looking to avenge last weeks loss and RB P.J. Hill will hope to return to the time of two years prior, his freshman year when he torched Penn State for 148 yards. This game should be nothing like his freshman year however, since Penn State's offense is nothing like that and they will put up at least 6 points in a win at Wisconsin.

Cornell at Harvard - Kickin it old school with some Ivy up in Allston, Mass where the Harvard Worthless Business School Masters Degrees take on the Cornell It Gets Really Cold and Lonely Up Here in the Winter's. It's a published fact that more then one Harvard MA in your company or team will lead to failure, but Senior QB Chris Pizzotti is hoping to shake that stigma and lead the Crimson to victory. The Cornell Big Red will rely on senior QB Nate Ford to try and show Harvard which shade of red is superior. Ivy league games are as exciting as huge SEC contests, you never know who's going to win and they really leave it all on the field since they don't need it in the classroom where their grades are inflated. Cornell is the team to beat in the Ivy League this year, and they haven't beaten Harvard since 2005, so I pick the Big Red in a win.

College Football Weekend October 4th, 2008

2008-10-01T23:22:00.001-04:00

Ok so I'm a little worn out because works has been really rough. But I just wanted to rant a little bit. For everyone who sent me e-mails, texts, calls, telegraphs, smoke signals, singing telegrams about the USC loss last week, I'd just like to say I appreciate it all. That being said, I don't care if Southern Cal lost, They aren't even really Southern Cal, they are more like Northern Southern California. I live 2 miles south of where the "University of Southern California" is, and let me tell you, it's nicer here, we have less smog (we have no smog really). And regardless of what USC wants to pretend they are, it doesn't matter because they live in or around southern California. Where the weather is nice every day, seriously. It was 80 degrees outside today and people in my office were complaining about how it was a heat wave. 80 degrees, heat wave...unreal. So the real loser here is anyone who felt sorry for USC. Because all they had to return to was their perfect weather, beautiful women, and plenty of fun things to do. I know I shed a tear for them.

In all seriousness though what a great weekend of college football last weekend! I mean there were upsets and surprises and fun. I love upsets, I love them. I can't get enough of them, If every team in the top 25 lost in a weekend I would stop watching football and start watching bass fishing because there is nothing more for me to enjoy in the sport at that point. I mean seriously it would be the happiest day of my life, well second happiest, I figure the first happiest will be having kids...or getting a ATV, those things are pretty cool. So many upsets and in all honesty I don't think they are going to stop. It could be exactly like last year where there are no perfect teams and there will be a ton of controversy over who gets to play in what bowl game. It could be really cool, like that time the coin collector left the Ninja Turtles game unlocked so we got a bunch of free games until the arcade manager found us and then we had to leave. But looking at it now, there's a distinct possibility that you get a bunch of teams that have 1 or 2 losses, or even better, you get a bunch of teams from non-BCS conferences that go undefeated. Right now you could get BYU or Utah and then Boise State, Tulsa, and Ball State undefeated. If 2 of those teams go undefeated what happens? What about 3 of them? 4? I'll tell you what happens, I start dancing like Fred Astaire (a fatter less elegant Fred Astaire). So let's see the upsets of these top 10 teams keep coming, let's see this non-BCS guys go unbeaten, I'll be happy as a clam, and you should be too. And if that doesn't make you happy, then you are pro-kicking puppies. You monster.

Comments:
"So I couldn't resist answering a trivia question. A Sooner, I believe, refers to the original settlers of the Oklahoma territory, and because the land was open first come first serve, there was something to do with when the land was opened up, people were already settling, got there 'sooner' something to that respect, like they settled before the date they were supposed to. Now my confidence in answering that correctly has devolved into a rambling 40% true statement.Hope life in sunny San Diego is as continuously beautiful as you describe it to be, and unfortunately, you won't go undefeated this week, the HOOOS will crush Duke leaving the Devils quite blue, and by crush, I mean win in a hard fought 10-7 grindfest.
Take it easy." - Ethan
That's a very very close guess, and I'm going to have a hard time deciding who gets the $5 because both you and my friend Peter contacted me very early about this. Neither of you was exactly right. But you can still split the $5. I actually looked it up, a "Sooner" derives it's name from the "sooner clause" of the Indian Appropriation Act, which stated that no one should be allowed to enter and occupy the land prior to the opening time and that such people would be denied rights to illegally claimed land. So congratulations, you are almost right. In regards to your second comment, San Diego is an awful place full of bad weather and you should never come here. Lastly, the one thing I know I was right about last week was that Duke punished the Cavaliers.

"Will not be the first, last, or the funniest person saying this: sorry about USC Oregon State dude :(" - Rob
Don't be sorry, great game. Also as funny as it may seem, one prominent sports writer actually picked Oregon State to win that game way back in like July. Stewart Mandel of Sports Illustrated actually said he thought that they would beat USC and Penn State and that they would be the surprise team of the year. Lots of people laughed at him because Oregon State got beaten by Stanford to start the year and then dominated by Penn State. But who's laughing now? That's right, me, I just heard a funny joke about a crab playing soccer, how absurd.

"1) I don't know what is more difficult to believe: that someone would actually subject their son to the naming of Jacquizz, or that said person could rush on USC for 186 yards and 2 touches. The Trojan defense couldn't have tackled the icebox (yes a Little Giants reference).
2) "Knowshon for Heisman" is looking more and more like the most ridiculous statement ever with each passing week. Now with an elbow injury? A deeply injured Georgia team should still beat Tennessee next week.....right?
3) Andy texted me saying "Ole Miss beat Florida", and I had to read it 5 or 6 times until it made sense. A bloced PAT to (basically) lose the game? I know Ole Miss has a history of handing a loss to the Gators, but beating them when they're #4 in the country is impressive. Does this mean that the SEC is deeper than the the Gulf of Mexico, or is this a fluke?
4) Has the ACC solidified their "worst conference in college football" stigma for this year yet? It's not looking too good for their 2 top-25 teams, #20 VA Tech and #25 Wake Forest. Thoughts?" - Cali
My first thought is that you should come visit me in San Diego, thanks. But I'll take these questions one by one.
1) Weird name but I'll be honest, I've never seen something like what he was doing to USC defenders. I wasn't even watching the game till someone called me and asked if I was. Why would I, it's going to be a terrible game? "Because USC is losing by 2 touchdowns that's why." I've never seen a running back slip through defenders, because that's essentially what he was doing. The was getting hit in the backfield, at the line of scrimmage, and was just slipping through peoples arms for 5 or more yards. USC had the perfect defense called, Jacquizz just kept slipping by them. On the one touchdown he scored in the second half he actually went under the defenders arms, Tom and Jerry style.

2) I don't know, I think Tennessee is pretty bad, but they've lost 2 close games this season in conference. Georgia on the other hand will have a huge chip on their shoulder from the Alabama beatdown and they have a week to rest while Tennessee plays this weekend. As for the Heisman my top 5 has looked like this for the past 2 weeks:
1. Chase Daniel, Missouri2. Sam Bradford, Oklahoma3. Max Hall, BYU4. Donald Brown, UConn5. Colt McCoy, Texas

3) That game wasn't on ANYWHERE that I could easily get to because I was at the bar doing laundry. But in Ole Miss's defense they've been competitive in the SEC for the last couple years and their new coach Houston Nutt really knows the SEC. I also think the Gators were a little overrated and that the score of their game against Tennessee wasn't indicative of how close that game was. Also the rankings are pretty much a crapshoot until week 6-8 where the cream rises to the top.

4) They are awful, they don't deserve a BCS bid.but they may be better than the Pac-10, but not as good as the MWC. Scary huh? Well not as scary as this old lady that lives next door, I think she's trying to eat our cat and I can't tell if that's a wig or a cat on her head.

Games:
Kentucky at #2 Alabama - Last year if you got the number 2 ranking in the country it basically was like getting the Black Spot from Treasure Island (if you've never read it go read a book you punk, or watch the Muppet's version). It meant you were going down soon because some pirate was about to straight up stab you or something, I don't know I kinda skimmed that book. I can't help wonder if we might see that start to happen here. We have the Alabama Crimson Tide, who just rolled up the most dominating win of the season against the number two team in the country at the time, they had a huge emotional burst from that game, and everyone thinks they are the greatest thing since unsliced bread (which was pretty good at the time)...See a pattern here? The Kentucky Wildcats are undefeated, they have the best statistical defense in the country, they have never won at Alabama. Sure Alabama will probably cruise and just be happy knowing they are so good, heck they probably won't ever lose again and RB Glen Coffee will continue to put up eye opening numbers. The certainly won't lose to an undefeated Kentucky team who feels like they aren't getting their due even though they knocked off LSU last year and in four games they've only let up 22 points. Gosh, seems like a lock for Alabama (not).

Florida State at Miami (FL) - Remember when this game used to be the biggest in the country? Seminoles versus Hurricanes, wide right field goals, defense and drama and national title hopes oh my? Well it's not anymore. Booya.

#13 Auburn at #19 Vanderbilt - I honestly don't understand why the Vanderbuilt Commodores are ranked and Kentucky is not. I also don't understand why they are called the Commodores even thought they are 500 miles from a body of water that can hold a naval vessel, if you can explain this to me without looking it up you've got five dollars or a milkshake coming your way. Vandy is ranked for the first time in like 4000 years or something and it's apparently because of the spread offense they run and RB Jared Hawkins, although their offensive numbers aren't terribly spectacular. They will run the ball as much as they can, which could be a problem because the Auburn Tigers have a stifling defensive line. These teams are very similar, hard playing bruising defenses, spread attacks that feature a running game more then passing, and they also have the letters A, R, and N in their name, I know I was staggered by that revelation as well. Auburn was a play or 2 from winning against LSU, and they have a better defense, offense, and special teams, but the game is at Vandy. Vandy hasn't been ranked in forever and a day, I just have a feeling that they could pull it off especially since Auburn just got done playing two brutal games.

#24 Connecticut at North Carolina - The Huskies of UConn are maybe the luckiest team in the land. I've watched their last two games and I don't think they really deserved to win either, they certainly tried really hard to lose but unlike the Philadelphia Eagles they were unsuccessful. UConn has the nations leading running back in Donald Brown but like all their games I would expect this one to go something like this. UConn gets down by a couple touchdowns, has a second half comeback, and then you flip a coin to see whether the Tar Heels of NC have what it takes. I saw QB Cameron Sexton come in and play against Miami last week after the starter for UNC got hurt. He has the arm of a pro quarterback, no joke he can really wing it. Toss up game, but I'll pick the home team so that I can field a bunch of e-mails about why the Big East stinks and so does the ACC. We're going to call this the academic game of the week since I don't want to write about Villanova/William and Mary or Cornell/Lehigh.

#23 Oregon at #9 USC - Can two Oregon teams beat the Trojans on consecutive weeks? Short answer no, USC hasn't lost back to back games against Pac-10 opponents since 2001 I believe. They actually haven't lost back to back games period since 2001. Sure the Oregon Ducks will come in with one of their 500 different uniform combinations provided by Nike, and they will run the spread offense very nicely. But if they don't cover their running backs in butter like Oregon State did, they aren't going anywhere. The USC defense is going to be angry, they are going to be mean, and I predict a very one sided home win for the Trojans. Also I predict rain, no seriously it's supposed to rain this weekend, what's up with that?

#14 Ohio State at #18 Wisconsin - One of these teams is a pretender and one of them is a contender. The Wisconsin Badgers got beat by Michigan last weekend in a surprise loss, their offense just isn't balanced enough to take on a good defense, they mainly rely on RB P.J. Hill to do the majority of the work, The Buckeyes have had a couple weeks to groom freshman QB Terrelle Pryor and will be getting back RB Beanie Wells. I've seen enough of Ohio State's offense to believe that they don't really have the tools to play against a good Wisconsin defense. What I'm getting at here is that this game will probably have about as much offensive fire power as a fluffy rabbit with two squirtguns taped to it's side. It very well could be a tough game that comes down to whether Pryor, who was an all world phenom out of highschool, makes mistakes or not. If not, they win, if so, they lose, either way I doubt it will be pretty. Dr. Coin projects Ohio State winning. Have a great weekend, sorry this is so long. So long.

Philly Experience

2008-09-30T17:36:00.001-04:00

The first Eagles game I ever went to was against the Giants when I was like 8 or 10. The Eagles had just lost to the Giants. My father and I were walking out of the 700 level and there was this guy in a Giants jacket who was on the ground next to a broken beer bottle in a pool of his own blood/spilled beer. People were walking by spitting on him and such. I asked my father if we should stop to help him and he just continued to usher me out of the stadium. A part of me died that day and I believe that part was my ability to be positive about the Eagles no matter how well they are doing. Winning by 56 points? Should have scored more. Win a game by 21 points? They were a couple lucky plays away from loosing. McNabb went 32/33 for 700 yards and 16 TDs? Why didn't he run for more, where's the goddamn running game.

My first Phillies game at the Vet I saw someone get arrested in the 3rd inning for throwing beer and fighting someone. Two innings later someone dumped beer on me and he got arrested. I did get to see Ozzie Smith do a backflip and worthless Mitch Williams got a save, I think Lennie Dyksrta hit a home run. Then they lost the world series and my cat died. Fucking Phillies.

I've never been to a home Flyers or Sixers game but I did see the Flyers play Washington twice in the first round in DC last year.

The best there is

2008-09-26T17:57:00.001-04:00

Matt Bowen is the best NFL writer in the world right now, his insights are so darn good it makes me surprised we don't see more ex-players. He must be an unusually smart guy.
http://www.nationalfootballpost.com/author/matt-bowen/

Throws discussion

2008-09-25T18:47:00.002-04:00

Fun discussion about throws on the internet:
Mobn:
"Greco frankly offers a lot more control to the wrestler in terms of where they land out of the takedown. GSP's style more often than not lands him in guard and requires him to pass. I think we can all agree that Silva's guard has proven dangerous."
Me:
Incorrect given that all of the takedowns in Greco are throws and not leg attacks. It's actually quite difficult to control an opponent you've thrown using just your upper body as leverage. It just so happens that in Greco style competition they don't scramble out of a takedown, they lie on their stomachs so that they don't give up more points. Whereas with a freestyle double leg takedown you have control of your opponents legs at least for a moment and a good takedown will involve resetting your hips so that you can either get behind the person, or into some kind of mount of half guard. Your legs are more powerful then your arms by far, greco takedowns leave the legs open to do as they please while the throw is taking place. Most great wrestlers while they are getting thrown (well to be fair a great wrestler doesn't usually get thrown) are adjusting their body to be in a better position before they land, and since their legs are free there is plenty to do. Whereas when you are getting taken down with a double you can't really do much till you land, scoot your hips out and headlock or try to get in guard, or if it's actual wrestling give up your back. Now Judo throws on the other hand...
Mobn:
"But a Greco throw gives you much better control over where you land in relation to their upper body, as you can control it the whole way down, resulting in landing in side control against a less competent wrestler. I still say that Hendo's style is more likely than GSP's to land in a dominant position, especially considering Anderson's ability to quickly grab guard back from an unwary opponent. "
Me:
Ok I guess, but a greco takedown is also much more likely to not result in a takedown period. A great double leg you can control exactly where you are but you are less likely to land in full mount or side mount.
Elmo Oxygen (on responding to "Now Judo throws on the other hand... ":
"Keep going, this is a pearl of interesting reading in a slop trough full of MMA thread. "
Me:
Judo throws are typically the most controlled throws. You use legs, you use arms, you use weight transfer. Think about the Judo guys you see in MMA, Karo would be the one that comes to my mind first. When he usually executes a throw, it looks big and he uses both his upper body and legs for leverage to get momentum going. He also locks up parts of the opponents body during the throw so that they can be controlled when you hit the ground. You can also execute them pretty much from any standing position. There are so many different Judo throws it's ungodly, there were apparently 40 originally developed but goodness knows how many there really are, and you really have to be good at scrambling if you get thrown because when you land more often then not you are exactly where the Judo guy wanted you to be. In MMA Judo throws typically allow the thrower to control everything that is about to happen because unless you have a strong Judo or wrestling with throw background the tendancy is to just go with the flow, get the wind knocked out of you, or be outright confused. If you've never been thrown by a Judo guy just try to imagine, "All of a sudden you aren't on your feet, and you are flying, and oh look there's the ground how the hell did I get here? Oh gosh that hurt, what is going on?" If you aren't used to defending it you cna get very disoriented.Wrestling (in the US) at lower levels of competition doesn't have alot of throws, but some coaches teach a simple head and arm throw as the first or second move because it can easily win a match and take an inexperienced guy out of their gameplan in an instant. All the fastest pins I ever got were by going straight for a head and arm and pinning someone second later. Judo is lots and lots of throws, here's a small list: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Judo_techniques

College Football Weekend September 27, 2008

2008-09-24T23:41:00.003-04:00

A blue moon is a rare occurrence, me actually being right is an even rarer event. So much to my surprise all my picks ended up correct last week, then I won the lotto and a shooting star landed in my back yard. But in all seriousness, I had better check myself before I wriggity wriggity wreck myself. Which is why you can take all my picks to the bank, the MONEY bank (note: I am literally terrible at college football betting,so don't look to me for advice). Anyhow this weekend has some really fun games, so I hope I rock the house again.

Comments:
"Okay, Son, you need to learn to use spellcheck - after all the tuition we paid, you should be able to properly spell Pennsylvania. I recognize that you are your father's son, but bad spelling really isn't hereditary... Mom"
There were no mispellings on the website, no clue what you are talking about (see if you can catch the joke in that sentence). You should go back and check your vision.

"Ok it's been a few weeks, how about a top 25 list?" - Justin
How about you find the cat? She's been missing for days, and I think someone is feeding her because otherwise she'd be back in her loving household...for food...then she would escape again. On the other hand I'm getting more rest since she's not whining outside my door at all hours of the night. But my top 25, how about my top 10?
1. USC - Very good chance to go undefeated, Probably the best bet to be in the National Championship. I'm not sure anyone will be able to really judge how good they are for the rest of the year till they get to a bowl game.
2. Missouri - Great offense, lots of ranked teams on the schedule, hard to say more about them till they play some more.
3. Georgia - Good running game, good defense, I think their quarterback will ultimately decide their season, So whether or not they play for the championship will rest in his hands during one of their conference games.
4. Oklahoma - Good offense, hard to say how good the defense is, we'll find out soon enough this weekend.
5. LSU - Bruising defense, young offense, hard schedule.
6. Florida - This team confuses me like the ending from "No Country for Old Men". They should have more offense, less ambiguity, and a real ending with resolution and a morale so you know you learned something.
7. Alabama - This team is more like "There Will be Blood", you watch them and can't figure out why they are so good, but darn it if they don't give great individual performances.
9. BYU - So good they take up two numbers on the top 10, two shut outs in a row, and two ranked teams left on the schedule, undefeated season will land them in the national title game hopefully.
10. Penn State - I really want to see them play a real team, or barring that, a bunch of attractive women. So I guess if you think that Illinois is a hot chick/good team then I'll get my wish this weekend. Now on to the games.

Games:
Virginia at Duke - This is my "academic game of the week". And you can't complain dad because your own daughter went to UVA and one of my favorite Marines in Iraq went to Duke. That being said, these two teams are pretty bad, but Duke did beat Navy... The Virginia Cavaliers allegedly have some other nickname that is insignificant just like their defense, and I have it on authority that "UVA's QB was dismissed... only making our impending ACC championship run all the more impressive!- Kent" Indeed. Well if they are to begin this run to ACC glory they'll need to beat the Duke Blue Devil's QB Thaddeus Lewis who is a great running threat as well as a decent passer. Well good luck to the UVA whatevers, they will have to stab their way to success, using a pen attached to a chain on a bank counter. In other words, Duke wins.

#24 TCU at #2 Oklahoma - This will hopefully be a good test for the Sooners of Oklahoma (again I'm offering a $5 reward for whomever can tell me what that means or is without looking it up). It's a classic battle of good versus evil...or defense versus offense...or tacos versus a salad (which will I have for dinner!!!!). The Texas Christian University (TCU) Horned Toads have a great defense and a good running game with RBs Ryan Christian, Joseph Turner and Aaron Brown. Oklahoma has an amazing offense and QB Sam Bradford has completed a out worldly 79% of his passes thus far. Defense wins games, but TCU may not be able to keep up with Oklahoma's high powered offense, especially at Oklahoma. I'll take the home team, in a game that will be close at the half, but became unbalanced by the middle of the 4th.

#13 South Florida at North Carolina State - The NC State Wolfpack ruined ECU's fun last weekend, will they continue to be that sober den mother in a group of drunk chicks out on the town by ruining South Florida's night out with BCS hopes? Not sure, the Wolfpack may be tired of holding back her friend's hair, I think she's ready to have fun, Harrison Beck will be at QB for the Wolfpack since the starter was injured. The Bulls of South Florida will hope that apprentice magician/QB Matt Grothe can close the deal and lead the Big East's best hope onwards. NC State had their upset for the year, it's time for the South Florida defense to step up to the plate and buy them a drink of humility.

#22 Illinois at #12 Penn State - The Fighting Illini of Illinois put on a heck of a show against Missouri early in the year, QB Juice Williams reminds me of Donovon McNabb, he's got a great arm and can run when he gets nervous. The Penn State Nittany Lions have scored more points in their first for games this year then in the first four games of any year previous. But they've been playing scrubs, and since they just installed a spread offense it's unclear how well it has taken. Lions QB Daryll Clark has played very well so far but he's not dealt with a defensive secondary as good as Illinois. This game tears me apart, just like all the drama in the Playboy Mansion (Oh gosh will Holly stay or go? Is Kendra engaged to that Eagles player?), I though Illinois was really good, I think Penn State might be better but it's so tough to tell since they've played nobody. But when in doubt I do two things, pick the home team, and then consult my friend Dr. Coin, Dr. Coin agrees that Penn State will win. It could be a very very close game.

#8 Alabama at #3 Georgia - I'm not sure what it is about this game, but for some reason I want to see this game more then I wanted to see LSU v. Auburn last weekend. I want to see what the Alabama Crimson Tide are really made of, are they born again under coach Scumbag Mcgee (Nick Saban), or were they born yesterday? Both teams have mauling defenses, and feature running games as their major offensive weapon. This usually leads to low scoring games. The Georgia Bulldogs will pray that QB Matt Stafford will not lose it for them, he'll be handing the ball to Heisman hopeful RB Knowshon Moreno. RB Glenn Coffee who will hopefully awaken the Crimson Tide of Alabama. This game could come down to experience, Alabama has a great coach, and a very young team, but they play so many true freshman who haven't played in a huge SEC game yet. They may not be ready for the hitting, the atmosphere, the extreme national spotlight, the riotous Georgia crowd. The Bulldogs should win, but I don't expect to see more then 40 points scored, and you can bet on that.

College Football Weekend September 20th

2008-09-17T17:37:00.008-04:00

There aren't a plethora of good games on this weekend, certainly not like the cornucopia of games we had last weekend. There are some top 25 matchups, but I don't see anything that makes me froth at the mouth, other then the sandwich I made before I started writing this. Usually this makes me think there will probably be a bunch of upsets, but it's any one's guess as to where those will occur, my educated guess of games I'm not going to write about; #21 West Virginia (1-1) at Colorado (2-0), #9 Alabama (3-0) at Arkansas (2-0). But it could also just be a good weekend to spend with your family…or in my case, at the bar/beach.

Comments:

"A couple of things. Kevin Craft... not a walk on, JC transfer, pretty highly recruited too.Is South Florida going to have any sort of offense this year, because I somehow doubt there defense will be as good as last year?How sad that the Temple OWLs are 1-A and not even in the discussion for best teams in Phily? When Army-Navy coming to town sees some of the best college football of the year for a town it is rather frightening.Do you really think Kansas has a legit shot at beating Missouri or Texas? Texas Tech might beat them as well and then assuming they work that out they would likely see Oklahoma too. Do not forget Kansas played a poor schedule last year so expecting them to make a play for a BCS bowl game this year seems farcical(is that a word, hmm if it isnt it should be if only for this situation).How long do you think it takes for Rich Rodriguez to effectively implement his system at Michigan, will it work and maybe as important will the Michigan faithful eat him alive before that takes place?What happens when Missouri plays a team with a good defense? I like Chase Daniel but giving up 42 points to a solid but not spectacular Illinois team is very worrisome. What happens when they play Texas at Austin and will Daniel be able to lead his team to the 60 points it would appear that they will need to win that game over a solid Texas defense. As much as I hate to say it USC looked better, and Georgia is probably better and even Florida looked like they may be stronger. I havent seen Oklahoma or Alabama play yet, but Alabama really gave it to Clemson and Oklahoma dominated Missouri last year.

Good luck

Tim"

Temple is terrible, South Florida may not need a great offense to go undefeated, as they proved in the Kansas game. I think the Big 12 is a toss up honestly, I would be surprised if anyone makes it out undefeated. I think it will take Rich Rodriguez two years and he should be ok after that, that running back they have is pretty darn good. As for Missouri I don't think that many people will be able to effectively slow them down if they are executing well. Something I will answer more in my next comment.

"Historically Texas would certainly be among the best teams in the SEC and probably the nation, but I have not seen enough from those other teams to warrant mentioning them with the upper-echelon SEC teams. I think the biggest difference between those teams and SEC teams is the ability to strap it up and compete with big, physical teams week in and week out. You take a Kansas or Missouri and have them line up SEC defenses every week, and I just don't think they would fair too well. Top to bottom, its just a different brand of football that those teams would not be able to handle (with the exception of Texas in most years) - Darius"

Extremely good point, but I'll also say this, the teams in the SEC don't see those kinds of offenses every week. I don't think anyone with the exception of Auburn runs the spread offense like that. In fact I'm struggling to think of an SEC team that beat a spread offense like Kansas or Missouri run. Physically I think the SEC is the most dominating by far.

"No mention of Connor Dixon's valient 6 touchdown comeback effort against Duquesne in the REAL battle of Pennsylvania football? Shame on you, you magnificent mountain of a man. - Anonymous"

Yes, the real battle of Pennsylvania football actually happens every year when Lehigh plays Lafayette.... Duquesne, Bucknell, Villanova, Lehigh, Penn, and Lafayette ought to have a tournament at the beginning of the year to figure out who rules Pennsylvania. Penn State doesn't get to come unless they have a 85%+ graduation rate for their foootball team in the prior year.

"how about that ACC? completely dominating your precious Pac-10 team (Maryland v Cal). I was at the game too and it was nowhere near as close as the final score, most of the game was 28-6. Maybe we shouldn't rush to judgement just yet, or maybe the Big East and Pac-10 are just as overrated as they have been the last 3 years. - Yale"

I was shocked at how badly the Pac-10 got crushed this last weekend, it makes me wonder if they should do away with automatic BCS bowl bids altogether.

Games:
#4 Florida at Tennessee - Couple weeks ago before the season started this would have been a headline game, probably the headline game. But in that time Tennessee was beaten by UCLA who in turn was disgraced by BYU to the tune of 59-0. The Tennessee volunteers just don't have enough fire power to keep up with Gators QB Tim Tebow and WR/RB Percy Harvin who is apparently healthy. The UCLA game makes me wonder if Tennessee will evey break .500 this year.

Boise State at #17 Oregon - An intriguing matchup, Boise State were the BCS busters who won a Cinderella game against Oklahoma 2 years ago (that game had everything, even the player who scored the winning 2 point conversion run over and propose to his girlfriend afterward). The Boise State Broncos are consistently competitive teams every year and this team still has National Television proposal running back Ian Johnson and a great defense. The ducks of Oregon on the other hand just got off beating Purdue in a game they should have lost, and they are also replacing their starting QB who is out with a knee injury. If this game were at Boise I think the Broncos would take it, but since it's at Oregon…I'm not so sure. Look for a close low scoring game that could go either way, Dr. Coin picks Boise State.

#18 Wake Forest at #24 Florida State - The Seminoles of Florida State have played nobody, they may as well have played two high schools to this point, which may account for the fact that they've outscored their opponents 115-7 thusfar. But I really don't see anything that indicates to me that they should be a top 25 team. The Wake Forest Demon Deacons had lost 34 times in a row to the Seminoles before they won the last two. Wake's QB Riley Skinner is completing nearly 75% of his passes and they pass as frequently as I hurt myself (which is a lot) mostly because they don't have much of a run game. Florida State is probably going to try and put on an air show with QB Christian Ponder but Wake's defense may be a little bit sterner than the cardboard cutouts the Seminoles have faced thusfar. Wake seems like a team who is already more conditioned to play this game having faced tougher competition, so long as their defense plays like it can and the offense doesn't make too many mistakes, it should be clear sailing, but that's what they said about my singing in the 3rd grade play.

#6 LSU at #10 Auburn - Prior to last week I would have been really excited about this one. Two extremely hard hitting SEC teams getting ready to beat each other up. If my memory serves me correctly, and it almost never does, this is usually the most physically brutal game of the year for the past couple of years. So brutal in fact that neither team plays well the next week because they seem kinda drained or banged up. So you might ask yourself, why then are you not as excited Marty? Because the Auburn Tigers won a game by the score of 3-2 last weekend. Not a typo, Auburn kicked a field goal in the second quarter, and got pushed back into their own endzone for a safety in the 4th. Needless to say no matter how good their defense might be it's doubtful that their offense will put up many/any points against the LSU Tigers defense. This should be a great defensive game, but I don't see Auburn winning with their offense as terrible as it is. Tune in if you love hard hitting defensive games though.

#3 Georgia at Arizona State - I know this seems a little copy and pasteish (pasty?) but prior to last week I would have been really exciting game. But last week the Arizona State Sun Devils were beaten at home by UNLV. QB Rudy Carpenter will need to stay alive against a ferocious Georgia defense. Georgia hasn't been spectacular this year, but after having been dropped from the #1 ranking without losing I'll bet the Bulldogs are looking to make a statement. I suspect this game will be very similar to the Georgia-Hawaii bowl game last year. Georgia will just physically overpower Arizona State.

Notre Dame Fighting Dragons

2008-09-13T16:19:00.002-04:00

Apparently Notre Dame has changed to the Rex Grossman "Fuck it I'm going deep" offensive strategy. Total disregard for the defense in the first quarter. Checkdowns are for "pussies" adn we're just going to throw the ball as hard down the field as possible.

College Football Weekend September 12-13th

2008-09-11T00:50:00.001-04:00

Ok, I'll admit I've been a little off thus far this season. I mean, who knew that ECU was going to be a top ten team this year? Name one person besides Sports Illustrated writer Stewart Mandel who called that? That's right not even Alan Greenspan had that one (that's a poli sci joke for those who don't know). Anyhow this week is actually an amazing week for college football, besides the obvious Lehigh/Villanova game there's the meeting between top 5 Ohio State Buckeyes and University of Southern California Trojans. Now on to the comments:

Comments:
"Come on, Martin. You preview the Bucknell game but decide not to mention the Brown & White taking the field for the first time this season. You should be ashamed to forget about your alma mater." - Darius
If i had a quarter for every time I heard something like this last week I would have $1.37. Of course I didn't overlook that, but I can't write about the greatest school of all time every weekend. I mean I love Drake and all but the game was played in a monsoon, there was more swimming than running the ball. How about this, I'll make up for it this week when Lehigh plays someone respectable? Not good enough? Ok then I'll let you take the last of my milk after I go to bed like my roommate did this week. That way when I wake up excited for a bowl of cereal only to find out after the cereal is already in the bowl that my milk was pilfered whilst I was in the land of Nod, I'll feel really sad panda.

"Dear Martin,
For as much as you bashed VT and the ACC last week, it's only fitting that you prove yourself not to be a hypocrite and also admit WVU and the Big East suck as well. Also, how about a mention of the fortitude it took for Notre Dame to come back against San Diego St? You don't just pencil in a victory when you invite the Aztecs to your house. Even after getting completely #$&@ed out of two touchdowns by incompetent referees (bogus goal line fumble where knee was clearly down and blatant backwards pass by SDSU)." - Yale
First of all, the Big East has how many BCS wins in the last 5 years? 4 wins. How many does your precious ACC have? I'll give you a hint, it rhymes with hero...still can't get it? There's another word to describe the number, it rhymes with nun. As for Notre Dame, I work with several people from SDSU who have never been to a game, but I guarantee that since the refs had to rob them of that game, alot more people will be buying tickets this year and the next.

"Do you know which games you will be highlighting this week? Which way are you leaning on OSU vs USC? I think SC is going to murder them. I am sick of hearing that OSU has the best secondary in the country and a great Defense. People always say that until they play a quality team with speed. Hell they couldn't even beat Juice Williams last year and they expect to play with the Trojans or Georgia? No shot. This game will be a blowout and a death blow to the Big Ten just like the huge blows that the ACC has already received this year. New Power Ranking of Conferences based on overall strength:
SEC
Big 12
Pac 10
Big Ten
Big East
Conference USA
ACC
Thoughts?" - Forrest
Ohio State has a decent secondary but I just don't see their offense putting up any points. I'll write more later. Juice Williams is legit, so losing to him is not a huge deal, he's like a young D-McNasty (Donovan McNabb of the Philadelphia Eagles), and I think Illinois and Missouri are both very good teams, also watch Penn State, I think they are very good this year. I'm not sure the Big Ten is just going to disappear unless Penn State Wisconsin and Ohio State all lose this week(haha watch it happen now). I think Fresno has a legit chance. I need a couple more weeks till I can tell how strong or weak the conferences are. I'll tell you this though. Missouri, Kansas, Oklahoma, Texas Tech and Texas might be better then the best 5 teams in the SEC...I'm not kidding about that but I need another couple weeks to see all the teams play to figure it out. I think Missouri is the best team I've seen this year thusfar. Ok on to the games.

Games of the Week:
Friday:
#13 Kansas at #19 South Florida - Game of the week. I'm serious as when your mom says, "Young man you get in here this instant." I think that this game will be highly competitive between two teams with legitimate BCS aspirations. Both the Kansas Jayhawks and the South Florida Bulls were a couple of plays away from not only playing in a BCS bowl game, but the National Championship. Think I'm kidding? South Florida was ranked number two in the country when they dropped three straight games by less than a touchdown. Kansas lost once last year, to Missouri, and they were two plays away from winning it in the fourth quarter of that game. So it's quite possible that this game will have as much to do with who plays in a BCS bowl game as the two top five teams playing on saturday, none. They are both out of conference opponents who could still get there by winning their respective conference. This game in my mind has absolutely as much to do with who plays in the National Championship as the other game as well. Trust me, if either Kansas or South Florida run the table they'll be in the big game. The Bulls will try to do it with Junior QB Matt Grothe, who is a wizard, hat and everything, and he will run and throw and turn you into a frog at the same time. The Jayhawks will rely on Junior QB Todd Reesing, who is currently completing almost 80% of his passes, to lead the way. Normally I would say whomever has the better defense would win but in this case I'm not sure, both teams had great seniors on defense last year who are gone now. I read/watched all about this match up and I still am having trouble deciding who will win. The coin of destiny says Kansas and that coin is always right 50% of the time. So I'll pick Kansas in a game that will go a long way to determine conference superiority if you are into that kind of thing. Do yourself a favor and watch this game.

Saturday:
UCLA at #18 Brigham Young - You look at a game like this and you think, new coach at UCLA against the team that's supposed to be this years BCS buster and who have had 3 successful seasons in a row no brainer. But this was the best bowl game of the year last year. The BYU cougars won on a last second field goal block (sound familiar to last week's BYU game?) and the UCLA Bruins went from euphoria to disappointment because of a tip of a finger. This UCLA team also just got done beating Tennessee two weeks ago and they have Offensive Mastermind Norm Chow designing a game plan (That Norm, he just looks like a good guy, he looks like a cuddler). Norm is a genious and he will coach walk on QB Kevin Craft and the army of walking dead that is the UCLA offense to a great second half. BYU on the other hand has QB Max Hall who is completing 78% of his passes and handing the ball off to 250 lbs running back Harvey Unga. BYU has the superior offense and UCLA has the better defense, and it's tough to call but BYU should shake off the slow start they had last week and win by a comfortable margin, and then go home to their wives (27 of them are married which is a really high %).

Michigan at Notre Dame - Comedy, tragedy, drama...which one of these describes this game/these teams? All of them. Both are at low points, both have been talking trash for months. Both are doubtful to have successful years. I'm including it in this writeup because the thought of these two traditional powerhouses clashing is humorous to me. Like clowns fighting each other with seltzer water or kittens wrestling. It's a battle of two offensive minded coaches with new coach Rich Rodriguez of former West Virginia fame, and of former New England Patriots fame, Charlie Weis for the Fighting Irish. All in all this game will receive much more national media attention than it deserves, just like Paris Hilton and Lindsay Lohan. And just like Paris and Lindsay, these teams are nothing more then trashy dressed up, famous failures. They should be more like Britany Spears and get their life back together. Also, to follow this pop culture nonsense, just like choosing between a Tom Cruise movie and a John Travolta movie, whomever I pick, I lose. The number of times I physically hurt myself writing this paragraph, 8.

#5 Ohio State at #1 USC - I have great anger when a team wins or comes from behind because of the refs, which is what happened last week when Ohio State finally took the lead against Ohio after a 3rd and 11 where there was the worst non-call on a holding penalty ever. I made my roommate rewind the game and watching it 3 times. So I'll come right out and say that I still have fresh vengence against an Ohio State team that performed very poorly last week. That being said, the game is in Southern California so both teams are winners for getting to spend an evening there. USC's QB Mark Sanchez and USC's 25 blue chip running backs torched UVA a couple weeks ago, which is what Ohio State should have done against Ohio. Instead QB Todd Boeckman barely got the offense on the board against the far inferior Ohio team. This game should be a showcase of the defenses, both teams have tremendous defenses with plenty of NFL talent and people keep talking about how darn fast the Buckeyes secondary is but frankly I think the Trojans secondary is better. USC seems to always blow away the competition in big games, expecially in the early season where they haven't lost a game in September since 2004. Trojans win, the game will hopefully be fun to watch, I'll be watching it with a bunch of Ohio State fans in an Ohio State bar in southern California outdoors a block from the beach.

#10 Wisconsin at #21 Fresno State - First off it would be a huge blow to the Big 10 if Wisconsin loses this. Which is why they are going to lose. The Wisconsin Badgers struggled with Marshall last week at home and although they have the edge in almost every way I can't shake the feeling that the Bulldogs of Fresno State just live for these kinds of games. The plan for Fresno QB Todd Brandstater is to hadn toe ball off to RB Ryan Matthews, so as long as he does that well the Bulldogs should be ok. Wisconsin has RB P.J. Hill who is great but won't be able to run all over the place against Fresno like he and the other Badger running backs did against Marshall. Fresno has a solid defense and will force Wisconsin to throw the ball when the run gets stuffed like a turkey (mmm turkey, I'm hungry!) and unlike last week they won't be able to dial up a pizz I mean passing game as easily as they did at home. Fresno just wins a very physical game close game in the dessert.

Lehigh at Villanova - Another chapter in what has become the best rivalry between the two best teams in the Philadelphia area. These two meet for the 4th time in 5 years with the Lehigh Engineers (or Mountain Hawks) looking to even up the recent series against the Villanova Wildcats. Hard to tell how good either team really is since the valiant Mountain Hawks played in a monsoon last week and the Wildcats got destroyed by West Virginia. One thing we can be certain of is that there won't be any grade inflation like you get at certain other Philadelphia area Universities who take a Quaker like approach to honesty (that doesn't make sense but just roll with it), these teams will be graded strictly on their merits. The Wildcats are led by Junior Antwon Young who just got beat up by WVU. The Brown and White's own sophomore J.B. Clark actually had a 232.20 QB rating in the rain last week. This unbiased writer can't help but think that the Mountain Hawks will win a tough battle die to their superior coaching and alumni donations, but it will be a tough game.

College Football Weekend September 4th-6th

2008-09-03T22:19:00.000-04:00

So my predictions were slightly askew last week, but fear not, I shall endeavor to do better! One thing I would like to highlight from last week is how darn good both Missouri and Illinois looked.in that shoot out in St. Louis. They both looked like teams in mid-season form at times and barring major injuries I think they both will be top ten come the end of the year. Missouri especially looked crisp, during the game all I could think about was how good and clean their offense looked, I think that they may be underrated given their number 6 ranking. Seriously, it's very rare to see a team look that good in week one, much less against a team that went to a BCS Bowl last year. Much like a reunion tour for 'The Smiths' I would love to see a rematch between those two teams again later in the year. Anyway on to the comments and then the games of the week (which is pretty bleak, just like my prospects of becoming a swimsuit model).

Comments:
"Marty, I was surprised to see VT getting beat by eastern carolina." -Ken
More than one of the big college football writers in this country picked East Carolina to win, which was odd at the time but they were proven correct. I alas am nothing but a small time chump so I went with the traditional powerhouse and fell flat on my face. I didn't figure on VT having such an anemic offense. East Carolina has apparently been building quite a program over the last couple of years and allegedly has been trying to get picked up by a bigger football conference. Well beating Tech is one way to announce to the world that you are wonderful, let's see how they fare against the West Virginia Mountaineers this weekend. In the meantime although they are in prime ACC territory East Carolina should really shoot for the stars and join a real conference like the Big East.

"How about real college football? Students that actually graduate playing a game? Where's your Ivy League predictions? Too hard? You too lazy or just uninformed?" - Dear old Dad
How about no Ivy League teams played last week dingus and only one team from the Patriot league played so let's just say that I forgot to write about one of the other teams. Although it seems there's no pleasing you unless I write about Penn.

"That article made my eyes bleed it was so long, can you take me to the airport at some ungodly hour of the morning Saturday morning?" - Cara
Ugh, yes obviously on the airport thing since it already happened and had a short anecdote involved with it. On the other point, sorry about the length of the last one, it was because I was lazy and didn't do a preseason preview and rolled it all up into one big dealie (that's a scientific word, "Oh look Dr. Johnson, that dealie is homogenizing". So tough tiddilewinks, also happy birthday.

Games of the week:
No. 8 West Virginia at East Carolina - It was a reasonably large upset last week when the Pirates of East Carolina beat Virginia Tech last week. It would be a much bigger deal to beat West Virginia this week and if they are going to do it then QB Patrick Pinkney is going to have to have another lights out game. In the meantime the East Carolina defense will have to bottle up WVU QB Pat White who threw for 5 TD's last weeks game as well as running for 7.2 yards a carry. Next to White will be the smallest running back ever, Noel Devine, who once famously stole Deon Sanders car to take a flight home, I'm not making this up. The Pirates defense will probably be able to contain the passing or the running game of WVU, but not both. It may be a close game because it's a home game for East Carolina but other than that I think every advantage points to the mountaineers and they should win easy.

Cincinnati at No. 4 Oklahoma - Oklahoma seem to be the darlings of everyone this except for me of course, I'm not sold on them and so I get no date to the prom :( But they do have talent in Sophomore QB Sam Bradford and RB DeMarco Murray who is trying to fill the clown sized shoes of current NFL star Adrian Petersen. Oklahoma had a player stabbed at a night club incident after last weeks games and Bob Stoops the coach most likely pulled the reins in a bit on his players this week, could affect how they perform but probably not enough to make them lose. The Cincinnati Bearcats are coming off a season in which they won 10 games including 3 against top 20 teams. But they're starting quarterback from last year, Ben Mauk, had his request for a final year of eligibility denied by the NCAA so they will be starting senior Dustin Grutza. Cincinnati has been a program with lots of growth and progress in the last couple of years but they probably aren't quite to the level where they can go in to Norman, Oklahoma and pull out a victory. This should be a high scoring game but Oklahoma should have the edge.

Miami (FL) at No. 5 Florida - Once upon a time this would have been an early meeting of two top 5 teams. But as my good friend (ok maybe not good but I saw him in concert once) Bob Dylan said, "The times they are a changin". Miami is a shell of its former self and this year and probably the next two will be rebuilding years. The Florida Gators on the other hand are primed for success with Heisman winner QB Tim Tebow who is a threat to score running the ball or throwing the ball or stealing our hearts with his lovable smile. Tebow has quite a few weapons to work with in addition to that crazy smile, WR/RB Percy Harvin will be back and he'll work with speedsters Chris Rainey and Jeffery Demps who scored on a 62 yard touchdown run last week. Miami used to be the standard for defensive excellence however it is unlikely that they've restocked enough told hold back the Florida offense. The Hurricanes will also start QB Robert Marve, who broke many of Tim Tebow's high school records. But you need to have more than a one man show to beat a whole team, except Steven Segal, he could do it, but Miami won't.

Duquesne at Bucknell - Throwing it down for my homies from Duquesne (you know exactly who you are). This is a little down and dirty Pennsylvania blood fest between two great academic schools. The always crafty (read:Cheaters) Bucknell Bison will look to upend the Duquesne Dukes. For those of you who are unaware Bucknell is located along the Susquehanna River in the rolling countryside of Central Pennsylvania in the town of Lewisburg near the site of the little league hall of fame. They are well known by visiting teams for having obnoxious field turf that gets black rubber bits in your eyes and having a large country store with a fantastic buffet including some amazing raspberry cobbler. Duquesne University of the Holy Spirit is a private Catholic university in Pittsburgh. I can't really tell you about either of these teams since neither of them have played yet this year except to say that last year they played each other with the Bison winning. But the Dukes rebounded back and went 6-4 while Bucknell were 3-8. But I'll place my faith in the Bison and their superior Patriot League ability and academic prowess to say they'll win by a touchdown.

That's all for this week, it's kinda a dry week for college football, but tune in next week for a meeting of top 5 teams.

College Football Weekend August 30-31st

2008-08-29T13:41:00.002-04:00

So uhh, how about some college football? And I know what you are saying, "Marty is a terrible writer and I couldn't be any less interested in this nonsense. Didn't I block his e-mail?" Well for starters you didn't block my e-mail, and if you did congratulations you are not reading this and I've always meant to tell you that you smell bad. Second, I apologize for any rust that comes as a result of my being left by the side of the ocean for days at a time. Also this year I'm going to take comments from the e-mails I receive as well as my co-hosted sports blog at http://www.fatkidmusings.blogspot.com/ so if anyone wants to hate on me or one another take it to the comments section there. Also if you know anyone else that would like to be added to the e-mail or you would like to be taken off just let me know and I will add or (and this is much more likely) subtract people as needed. For this weeks e-mail I'm going to cover some of the most frequently asked questions I get from people regarding college football (and my personal hygiene), how I think the major conferences are going to shape up, and the games of the week. This e-mail is a little bit late this week but I'll try to have it out by Wed from now on, also I'm going to skimp on the games of the week since there are only 2 that should be any good.

Marty who is going to win the national title?
I'll be honest I hate this question as much as I hate mushy peas, and I hate me some mushy peas trust me. I need to see all the best teams in action before I render any kind of opinion. Off the top of my head I would guess that the Ohio State Buckeyes and school for bribery and recruiting violations probably has the best chance of going back to the title game. I'll get into that a little more later. I also think that either University of Southern California school for the beautiful and popular kids whomever wins the South Eastern Conference (SEC) will have a darn good chance at playing for the title. But again until I see them play a real opponent I can't really tell how good they are, also it's impossible to tell how the ebb and flow of the season will affect teams. After all you never know who's starting quarterback will have to check into alcohol rehab, who's running back will be seeking the approval of his tutor's father who also played football at that school, who's coaches daughter will get kicked out of school for taking a test for the backup quarterback, or who's starting defensive end will get caught doing steroids and trying to do bad things all the time. That's a reference from "The Program" for those keeping track (nobody).

How do you think will be in the NFL? Where will he get drafted?
I am a terrible judge of talent when it comes to how they will project in the NFL, except for the fact that I correctly picked Vince Young to be a better NFL quarterback than Marcus Vick. That being said, I usually do pretty well with being able to tell where people will go in the draft (except for Brady Quinn a few years ago and I think we can all agree that he is a warlock and looking into his beautiful eyes causes you to overlook problems with his passing). So I'm open to questions about where or when people will get drafted, but I think I'd rather hold off for a couple of weeks until the season shapes up a bit.

Is living in Southern California amazing?
Yes, and you should endeavor to do it as soon as possible for as long as possible. There are a multitude of reasons for this but the one that is most applicable to this e-mail is that sports come on earlier in the day. So for example I got to see all the NBA finals games that I wanted (which was like 0 but they were on while I was doing something in the background) and they were all done before 9 PM. Sunday night and Monday night football gets done at a reasonable hour. All those 12 o'clock college football games come on at 9 AM here. So I can literally be watching college football 4 hours after I wake up as opposed to 7 hours after I wake up (do the math to figure out what time I get up and win a prize). Oftentimes living back in Virginia I would have to choose between watching the prime time Saturday night game or being social, and if I chose to be social I would have to watch the game on a small TV at a bar or miss the game entirely while striking out with women. Well now that game comes on at a reasonable hour and I have time to watch it and be sociable and strike out with women at my leisure. Or that prime time game comes on right as I'm doing my Saturday laundry…at the bar…which is right next to the laundromat…and it's during happy hour where pints of beer are $1.50…and they have a good jukebox…and the bartenders are really nice..and they have 3 hd tv's and it's not crowded. So all in all life pretty much sucks.

I think or is amazing and yet you give them no love.
That's not a question.

What's your top 25 teams?
I want to wait till week two or three lest there be a Michigan in the crowd ala last year. But I do think Brigham Young may be higher in reality than they are ranked now.

Major Conference Outlooks:

Atlantic Coast Conference (ACC)- I think the ACC has the potential to be one of the most fun conferences to watch. I say fun but what I really mean is that I doubt you will see any national title contenders out of it unless the Clemson Tigers , Virginia Tech Hokies (some sort of turkey thing apparently) or the Wake Forest Demon Deacons all break out of their traditional "We like to lose a big game somewhere along the path". But all in all watching who wins the conference title could be quite fun. I'd say Wake Forest has a good chance at winning it just because their schedule is very easy. But the conference really is wide open, Grand Canyon esque if you will. Top to bottom this might be the 2nd most competitive or parity laden conference in the country. You could have any number of surprise teams winning it like the Miami Hurricanes (which frankly just feels dirty talking about them as a surprise team as opposed to talking about them as felons), or the Florida State Seminoles, or any one of the teams except Duke or North Carolina or North Carolina State, because those three teams are awful and they should feel awful.

Big 10 - I like Ohio State to win this conference. I think the fighting Illini of Illinois are good but I think they will have a dropoff from last year starting this weekend at Missouri. The Penn State Nittany Lions and Wisconsin Badgers are both pretty good but Wisconsin's problem in being a real BCS contender as usual is their out of conference games (which are weaker than the lick of a kitten), and Penn State is installing a new offense that will fall flat on it's face at least once during the year. The Wolverines of Michigan might have a great program and lots of history, but they lost a talent laden senior class last year and that combined with a new coach usually means bad things. Maybe there will be a surprise team but I really think that Ohio has the talent and the experience to get back to where they were. Although on second thought Wisconsin plays Ohio State, Penn State and Illinois at home and Marshall, Akron, and Fresno State aren't that bad. But it's too late I already wrote this paragraph so I'm sticking with Ohio State.*

*I reserve the right to claim I picked Wisconsin all along when they go undefeated.

Big 12- Everyone else seems to think that the Oklahoma Sooners are just going to run away with this thing. All I can think of is their last game of the year when they got blown up by West Virginia. In the meantime I see a Missouri Tigers team that has real firepower and a senior quarterback and they only lost to Oklahoma last year. I see a Kansas Jayhawks team that was a couple silly plays away from being in the national title game last year and who beat Virginia Tech at the end of the year in a game I don't think anyone thought they would win. I see a Texas Longhorns Team who if anything are a bit below the radar this year. They were 10-3 last year and this year they are a little bit more mature, this is a team that lost to Oklahoma by a touchdown last year. So much like the deli meat I get at the grocery store I'm not sure how fres..I mean I'm not sure how clean cut this conference is, with everyone assuming Oklahoma is going to win. I just think, again like my deli meat, that there is more than meats the eye.

Big East - First of all I don't understand what's up with calling all these conferences the big something or other. It doesn't really add anything to the prestige of the conference. Second, and I truly believe this, the big east is the deepest conference in the nation. Top to bottom it is competitive and I believe last year only the Syracuse Orange and the Pittsburgh Panthers had losing records. This year Pitt is supposed to be a surprise team and Connecticut (Huskies), Cincinnati (Bearcats), South Florida (Hot women), Louisville (Cardinals), Rutgers (Scarlet Knights) and West Virginia (Mountaineers) are all good teams. It's a toss up really, I don't have any idea who is going to win this one, I'll have to see them all play. I can tell you though if I was a major BCS team in the country, I wouldn't want to see anyone from the Big East on the schedule.

Pacific 10 (Pac 10) - My new favorite conference! I could write all day about how there are teams that are good this year and whatnot. But the honest truth is that until someone can step up and actually challenge the University of Southern California Trojans (USC), then it's all just words. USC has the best recruiting every year, they have the most NFL stars, and also probably the best dance team. They play Ohio State in a couple of weeks and that will be a huge game. They could meet the Buckeyes again in the Rose Bowl at the end of the year. So all the Oregon's and Cal's and Arizona State's will all have to step up their game to even be close to USC.

South Eastern Conference (SEC) - This conference won 3 of the last 5 BCS national titles (and many people argue that Auburn got hosed in 2004). They are talked about and loved and ESPN just signed them to a big television deal. There are 6 real contenders for the conference championship and whomever wins this conference has a real chance at being in the National Title game regardless of their record really. Georgia (Bulldogs), Florida (Gators), Louisiana State (LSU Tigers), and Auburn (also Tigers) are all ranked in the Preseason top 10, Tennessee (Volunteers) and Alabama (Crimson Tide) are in the top 25 and South Carolina (Gamecocks) are one vote outside the top 25. So basically what I'm trying to convey (poorly) here is that there's some good teams in the SEC. I don't think any of them will be undefeated at the end of the year, but as we've seen in the past couple of years whomever wins the conference will pander to the media and get voted into the title game based on how good the conference is. I have no idea who will win it all, they all play one another for the most part, they all have good defenses and great athletes, they all have lots of people watching.

Games of the Week:
Appalachian State at #7 LSU - It's an interesting game because it is the defending national champions taking on the defending national champions (1-AA). Appalachian State surprised Michigan last year I don't think they will pull the same thing against LSU. If the Mountaineers do win then their QB Armanti Edwards will be in the Heisman race. But I suspect it won't be the case, it might be close for a half. LSU should win easily.

# 17 Virginia Tech at East Carolina - East Carolina has been talking trash for awhile, saying that VT was lucky to win by 10 last year. I think that will serve to enrage VT Incredible Hulk style. You probably wouldn't like them if they are angry. I think the biggest question will be how well VT's defense plays. Since they lost a ton of defensive talent to the NFL last year. I think VT wins by 10 or so.

Hawaii at # 5 Florida - Heisman Winner QB Tim Tebow is going to put up silly numbers against Hawaii. This game has potential because the Hawaii Rainbows or Warriors or whatever were a BCS team last year and they got beat like a umm non-Michael Phelps swimmer in a Michael Phelps race? Anyhow I don't have much faith in Hawaii given that 1) they are playing away form home where they are terrible 2) They lost their all world quarterback from a year ago and 3) They have a brand new head coach. I think Tim Tebow and the rest of the gators cruise easily against the slower Hawaii defense.

No. 3 USC at Virginia - I'm only including this game because so many people who read this are Virginia Cavalier fans. USC is pretty much going to rule them and it starts with QB Mark Sanchez, but really the USC defense is going to be overpowering like my body odor.

# 24 Alabama at # 9 Clemson - The Clemson Tigers always seem to falter when they are in the big game. They have amazing running backs in C.J. Spiller and James Davis who are comparable in many ways to Felix Jones and Darren McFadden of Arkansas last year. Clemson has a huge defensive line and Alabama will really try to stuff the ball down their throats on the edges, since it probably isn't a great idea to run at the Tigers 310 lbs Defensive Tackle Dorrell Scott unless you want a big hug! Alabama has a very good defense itself and they are very good against the run but for the life of me I can't figure out why the team is ranked so highly given that they lost all their starting receivers from last year and they were only 7-6. People are probably banking on slime ball coach Nick Saban and his great recruiting classes. Playing at home on national television is traditionally poison for Clemson, but I have a feeling that this year they will get it done. This could be a very boring game offensively though given how good the two defenses are supposed to be, so I wouldn't predict them lighting up the scoreboard unless they keep unplugging it and plugging it back in again.

# 20 Illinois at # 6 Missouri - Illinois rankings make no sense, they lost a running back but they still have QB Juice Williams who is a great runner as well, they went to the rose bowl last year how did they lose 10 or more places in the rankings. They should have a solid defense and enough talent to do better then 20th best in the country. Missouri has experienced senior QB Chase Daniel and Jeremy Maclin who is a hybrid Running back and Receiver/Monster. Last year this game was way under the radar, but it was pretty fun to watch. This year it's the game of the week, and I'm at a loss to pick. I tend to lean toward Missouri because they are playing at home and have the firepower to outscore all but the best defenses in the country. But Illinois and Juice Williams tend to be magicians. In the end I can't get over the fact that Illinois really didn't belong in the Rose Bowl against USC last year. That should have been Missouri's spot in a BCS game and I think Missouri might hold a grudge and win. Just like I hold a grudge against the sea…for taking my kite when I was a young child, I will eventually beat the ocean into submission.

Bass Ackwards Football Fantasy 8002

2008-08-27T17:22:00.004-04:00

Maybe the best idea I've ever seen. backwards fantasy football. I want to start a league.

Roster Positions: QB, WR, RB, TE, W/R, K, DEF, BN, BN, BN, BN
Stat Categories: Completions (-2)
Incomplete Passes (8)
Passing Yards (50 yards per point; 50 points at 10 yards; -35 points at 75 yards; -65 points at 150 yards)
Passing Touchdowns (-8)
Interceptions (8)
Sacks (8)
Rushing Attempts (1)
Rushing Yards (20 yards per point; 25 points at 10 yards; -25 points at 50 yards; -50 points at 100 yards)
Rushing Touchdowns (-8)
Receptions (1)
Reception Yards (10 yards per point; 25 points at 10 yards; -25 points at 50 yards; -50 points at 100 yards)
Reception Touchdowns (-8)
2-Point Conversions (-4)
Fumbles (8)
Fumbles Lost (8)
Field Goals 0-19 Yards (-1)
Field Goals 20-29 Yards (-3)
Field Goals 30-39 Yards (-5)
Field Goals 40-49 Yards (-10)
Field Goals 50+ Yards (-25)
Field Goals Missed 0-19 Yards (75)
Field Goals Missed 20-29 Yards (50)
Field Goals Missed 30-39 Yards (25)
Field Goals Missed 40-49 Yards (10)
Field Goals Missed 50+ Yards (25)
Point After Attempt Missed (50)
Sack (-8)
Interception (-8)
Fumble Recovery (-8)
Touchdown (-8)
Safety (-16)
Block Kick (-16)
Points Allowed 0 points (-50)
Points Allowed 1-6 points (-25)
Points Allowed 7-13 points (10)
Points Allowed 14-20 points (25)
Points Allowed 21-27 points (50)
Points Allowed 28-34 points (75)
Points Allowed 35+ points (100)

Fitness Convo

2008-08-26T13:31:00.000-04:00

F:"So what do you think is an attainable weight loss goal each week? How should I measure my success while trying to get healthier? I ask you because you have a successful track record of losing weight and working out and are just plain knowledgeable. In all honesty I don't even know what I weigh right now but it can not be good.
I think my ideal weight would probably be in the 250 range but I haven't seen that low of a number in a long time. I know I am never going to be skinny so I am just looking for healthy. "

M:

Well, weight loss is one way of measuring it. Anything too drastic and you aren't going to keep the weight off and it will just plain unhealthy. A pound or two a week is pretty good but what I would really concentrate on are other measures. Things like, your energy level or how do you feel are good indicators. Just get a notebook and keep it on you, have a morning afternoon and evening section and keep track of how you feel and what your energy is like. Then take notes for something exceptional like you couldn't sleep or what have you and that's why you felt off. This does two things, it keeps reminding you that you should be working out and feeling better, and two it makes you more conscious of what makes you feel bad and what have you. Maybe you had too much coffee or skipped a meal or something.

Another way of measuring these things is by setting metrics for yourself. Again keep a notebook. Let's say you run a mile on the treadmill every day (or something like it) see how fast you can do it, write down how easy it was and that kind of stuff. As you get progressively better it should be easier and easier and then you can run or bike or whatever further and further. The notebook again serves as a way to track this as well as keeping you honest about how much you are really doing. I measure how much my workouts drain me, and how I feel afterwards.

You should also keep track of what you are eating. This is actually the hardest one to do, because it is very very easy to lie to yourself and discount things. Some people think that you have to be strictly healthy every day of the week but honestly if you are consistently active you should be able to slide one or two meals a week that aren't the best for you. Or a night of heavy drinking. Just don't take too many meals off because that's where the extra fat comes from. I keep like no carbs around the house so that I won't be tempted to eat chips or whatever.

I would also think about what kinds of things you are doing at the gym, or how you are working out. All cardio on guys like us makes us look sloppy and we really need some weight training to look better. But it's the kind of weight training that is important. We're not training to be competitive athletes anymore, and I don't either of us is going into bodybuilding. So it becomes a question of how to lift correctly. The answer is that we need to worry about getting our heart rate up. Getting the blood really pumping because that's what's good for us in the long run. So what you need to start thinking about doing is lifts and exercises that make you really sweet and work. Things that combine legs and arms and core all in one exercise. The funny thing about those kinds of exercises is that most men's health magazines never really talk about them. You are more likely to find the good workouts in women's magazines. "Oxygen" is actually a really great one and they have good workouts and exercises that you can do to get a total body and heart workout.

The most important thing to remember is that you are going to look stupid as hell doing these kinds of workouts. I would just totally shut out the stares from people around you, don't care what they think. We're big guys, we can only help that to some extent. I know I sweat more than almost everyone at the gym, part of it is that I work really really hard at the gym, part of it is that I'm not a skinny little bitch. But I always have a towel covering equipment and I don't care that other people see me do non-conventional lifts and such. Some of them might even ask you about them and you can explain what you are doing and why. I get lots and lots of questions from curious people at the gym, and it's usually from people who seem generally interested in health, not in looking good.

The most important thing of all, and also the hardest, is keeping a consistent schedule. Both the eating and the workout schedule need to be constantly maintained and adhered to. When you skip a workout and have a big meal that breaks the rules, it's a double disservice to your plans. It's all about having the willpower to eat what you are supposed to be eating and staying away from things that are bad for you. It's also about knowing what is bad for you and how much you can have. Some people will completely forgo carbs and substitute protein and although it's ok in some cases, sometimes you are hurting your own health. Protein is great for you but sometimes you need better fuel to workout the way you want to. I for instance need a certain amount of carbs every day because I bike to work. If I don't have some real fuel to burn then my legs quit on me and the bike ride is mostly worthless. As for the workout schedule, it's important to keep things consistent, and at first rest days need to be frequent so that you are getting the best out of your workouts. It's hard at first to get into a workout schedule, and it's all about your willpower to say hey, I'm tired as hell from work, but I need to go workout. It takes a lot to do it but you really have to kick your ass at it and think about how much more energy you will have since you are working out. For us even more then most people because we work real jobs that take 10 hours or more out of our day.

The other thing about scheduling is sleep. You need to schedule 8-9 hours of regular sleep every day. This is my ultimate failing, and this is why I don't get nearly as much out of my health as I should considering how much I workout. I sleep way less then I should, and for a long time it was because I couldn't sleep more than 3 hours a night. Your body and your mind need that time to recover and give you the energy so that you can do what you need/want to do. Otherwise you are just spinning your wheels without going anywhere.

In the end it's small things that can make the difference. For example when I wake up every morning I do 100 pushups and 100 crunches. It take like 5 minutes tops to do something like that. It's like walking instead of taking a cab somewhere. Small things. Don't eat dessert, or don't have fries with that. Whatever.

My workout schedule in a 7 day week is as follows:
Monday: Bike ride to work, in the evening I go to the gym and work chest, triceps, abs, little bit of legs, calves, and lower back
Tuesday: Bike ride to work and try to sprint as much as I can on the bike, at home or at the gym at work I do biceps (which I fucking hate), shoulders, wrist and forearm, hamstrings, quads and abs, upper back.
Wed: No bike ride to work (to rest my legs), at night I go to the gym and do more reps of chest then I did on Monday, same with triceps, and abs.
Thursday: Basically the same as Tuesday
Friday: Bike ride (my legs are usually cooked by Friday), wide grip things same as Monday
Saturday: Misc. But I make sure I do something, whether it be volleyball or swimming in the morning or something. If I want to I do biceps and shoulders again. It's a good day to burn whatever you have left in the tank, so I may take a big bike ride I the morning or just go workout really hard.
Sunday: Rest, stretch, etc.

More wrestling/MMA discussions

2008-08-14T12:51:00.002-04:00

"plus from what i understand being NCAA champ means you're good, but olympic gold medalist is worlds away from NCAA level in wrestling, so Rulon should be able to handle brock. not to mention rulon can now completely escape toe holds 10% of the time, so he's got that advantage"

The important thing to remember is that the NCAA and the Olympics are different. Yes it is harder to win an Olympic (Greco-Roman or Freestyle) gold obviously, but it's also not the same kind of wrestling (folkstyle or collegiate) done in the NCAA. For years and years people have argued about why the United States hamstrings our olympic hopefuls in international competition by making them wrestle a style in high school and college that isn't recognized internationally. Typically the collegiate wrestlers who are good try to transition to Freestyle wrestling and that takes a year at least to make the adjustment. Recently a couple of wrestlers have opted to skip wrestling in college and go straight to training for international competition most notably Henry Cejudo who is on the current U.S. olympic team.

Greco-Roman style is mostly upper body on the feet and mat. It is illegal to hold the opponent below the belt, to make trips, and to attack the legs while standing. You see more throws in Greco-Roman because the traditional defenses to most throws are out of play (hooking the legs or grabbing legs etc.) On the mat the man on top still can't attack legs and the man on bottom usually never fights to improve position because doing so may open them up to a potentially match ending throw. The U.S. usually struggles with Greco-Roman and has only won 3 gold medals in the sport (I would say two since Rulon Gardner won his medal on some bullshit ass new rule but in the books it goes down on as a gold despite the fact that one of the greatest upsets in U.S. olympic history happened because of a minor technicality which had not existed in international competition prior to those Olympics. If that rule wasn't in place Rulon would have lost the match two seconds after that call would have happened.).

Freestyle allows the attacks on the legs in all positions. But some of the slick ass shit that U.S. wrestlers pull in folkstyle would result in instant back points in freestyle. You can also lock your hands together from the top position whereas you cannot in folkstyle, please don't ask me to explain this further. Defense from the bottom position consists of laying there and trying to make sure your opponent doesn't flip you over. In international competition the U.S. has much more success in the Olympics (John Smith, Dan Gable, Cael Sanderson, Kurt Angle, etc.)

Collegiate (folkstyle) wrestling emphasizes all different positions and it is typically more wide open in terms of moves than Greco-Roman or Freestyle. There is almost equal emphasis on standing positions as well as mat wrestling, and the huge difference from Freestyle and Greco-Roman really comes in when people are in the bottom position. In collegiate wrestling the man on bottom is encouraged (required) to try and improve his position either by standing and facing his opponent or reversing him. Also the top position is different from freestyle in that you are slightly restricted from doing certain things. On the feet everything is in play, takedowns, sweeps, throws etc.

From a wrestling standpoint collegiate is a more "complete" wrestling style, meaning that there is a wider library of moves available, largely stemming from the bottom position's requirement to try and score rather then sit there and try to not be turned. There are also several moves in collegiate wrestling that are doable because of differences in scoring. Freestyle and Greco-Roman have several throws that not legal in collegiate (full on suplex for one) and a series of moves from the top that are available due to the ability to lock hands. From a MMA point of view the broad generalizations would be that greco guys would be good in the clinch (Randy Couture) freestyle guys would be good at take downs (GSP trains with the Canadian freestyle team), and collegiate guys would be like every wrestler you see that wasn't part of the Olympic team (huge list).

All things being equal (conditioning etc) Rulon might actually lose to Brock depending on what kind of wrestling match it was. Rulon hasn't had to defend his legs from a takedown in years. Throwing Brock wouldn't be as easy as it seems. I think Rulon would win but I'm just saying that he might lose to Brock.

August 7th discussion

2008-08-07T17:28:00.000-04:00

F:
Martin,
So what are your thoughts on the UFC event this weekend? Is this really a make or break night for Brock Lesnar like people are saying? Do you think he has a good chance at winning? What do you think about Tito Ortiz signing a ludicrous deal with Affliction to be their poster child? Also, I guess the Bucs looked at the situation like we did and realized that an interception throwing machine was not the way to go with the team and let the Jets take him. Thoughts?

M:

Tito sucks, he's not any good and hasn't beat anybody good in like 7 years. So affliction will put him up against a bunch of cans and he'll look all amazing but he sucks out loud. Lyoto Machida owned the shit out of him in his last fight and Rashad Evans would have beaten Tito in a rematch. On the other hand him and Jemma Jamison are having a child so I'm sure that will bring some more free advertising to affliction.

It is a make or break night for Lesnar and I'd be a little surprised if he lost to Herring. Then again Herring can be tricky depending on his mood. Lesnar needs to win because he's getting paid alot of money to pull in viewers and if he gets punked again the wrestling crowd will stop watching. But again I question putting him up against another very experienced veteran like they did against Frank Mir. I really really want to see the other fights, Huerta-Florian could be fucking amazing, those guys never get tired. GSP-Fitch could be alot of fun depending on how well Fitch gameplans, but there is no reason it won't be an entertaining fight. GSP is a better wrestler than Fitch and I'll guarantee they won't mention it once on the broadcast, it will be all about how Fitch was on the Purdue wrestling team. If Fitch tries to fight GSP like Josh Koshcheck did then Fitch is going to get dominated and we'll get to hear more of GSP's funny French-Canadian english. I've had both those fights on my calender forever. I'm a huge fan of Huerta and Fitch, and GSP is just a cool guy. I am really excited for this card.

The why Farve shouldn't have gone to Tampa Bay argument is best summed up thusly. Jeff Garcia is better now then Brett Farve both at the age of 38. Garcia has lead both the Bucs and the Eagles to the playoffs in the last two seasons.

Garcia in the last two years:
2006: 61.7% Completion rate 10TD 2INT Playoff win with the Eagles, came within 3 points of the NFC championship.
2007: 63.9% Completion rate 13TD 4INT Made playoffs lost to eventual superbowl champions.

Farve:
2006: 56% Completion rate 18TD 18INT No playoffs.
2007: 66.5% Completion rate 28TD 15INT Win one playoff game and threw an INT to end the season in OT of the NFC title game.

Plus Favre has lost about half a dozen steps the past couple years. Hell, McCarthy basically gave him the Vince Young playbook last year.
The Jets can have him, we all know who the class in that division is the Jets at best are playing for the last wildcard spot although that will more then likely be occupied by two teams from the AFC South anyhow so....have fun Brett, I think history will show him as a spoiled self centered brat about this whole thing. I feel bad for the packers.

Prettiest baseball stadium

2008-07-29T10:46:00.017-04:00

I'd like to nominate Petco Park as the best looking place to watch Major League Baseball. It's gorgeous, and not just because it's in a place where the weather is perfect. I've been to Camden Yards and quite a few other places and I've not yet been to somewhere as nice as this. You could walk around for 8 innings just marvelling at how nice it is. Here are a few pictures from my recent visit:

Outside the park walking from the trolley. A little closer.
The approach to the main gate/ticket office, there's pretty much greenery all around the stadium.

The main gate area, I'm not a great photographer obviously.

It's somewhat hard to see here but these are the steps leading up from the main gate to the concourse. On the sides of the steps is a wall that has water running down it. It's darn impressive trust me.

This is the interior of the park on the main concourse, this hanging greenery is pretty much all around the stadium except for on section of the outfield which has a lawn that you can look into the stadium from.

Same kind of shot.

A shot of some guy in a hawaiian shirt! No it's a bad picture but it's supposed to show how well the stadium melds with the city, it just kinda flows and you can see the buildings set so well in the avenues of view. Honestly a couple blocks north from the ballpark and you don't know you are near a stadium it melds so well.

A shot of left field.Left center field, that's the scoreboard and it's really nice.

Shot of homeplate, we were sitting in the shade, which was kinda dissapointing since I could have been working on my tan the whole time. Also it kinda dulled the pictures.

One of the benefits of sitting in the shade is that all throughout the park there are high definition TVs and scoreboards. The TVs are great because they show the live broadcast and you get replays of stuff that you just saw or had questions about.

Next time I will shoot more of the park and hopefully some of the local talent.

Rampage, why must you be so silly

2008-07-16T09:59:00.003-04:00

Rampage Jackson got arrested after a hit and run and a chase with the police yesterday when he was driving a truck with a picture of him and his name on the side of it. Probably not going to get away with that one. I see cars all the time and I think I might be able to describe the lifted up camouflage truck with a picture of a famous black man with a chain around his neck on the side. The idea of fleeing the scene in such a vehicle is laughable, I'm speculating that he was under the influence of something. On the other hand, the chances of someone messing with him in lockup are low. Can you imagine being in a cell with some guy who tried to fight Rampage after he'd been arrested? Those blood stains would never come out.

Chicks dig the long ball

2008-07-15T10:06:00.002-04:00

How does someone hit 28 home runs in the first round and not win the home run derby? All other competitors should have just bunted out for the rest of the night. Hamilton was hitting bombs, ridiculously large home runs. I've never seen anything like that before in my life, the man just got in a grove and punished some leather.

Actual conversation

2008-06-23T09:23:00.002-04:00

F: So what are you going with this evening? Black beards delight or a scent that is banned in 7 countries?
M: Sex Panther. Although there's not much time so I'm going to have to work fast and take the long way home.
F: I suggest nothing but bike shorts and a midriff tank top when you walk in the door. And if you can magically add a handle bar mustache to your face before then all the better.
M: Long socks with one red and one yellow stripe at the top and some all white chuck taylors as well? Also remember I'm going to the airport so I don't want to be stopped by airport security for concealing a weapon in my bike shorts.

Homeless man named Travis Henry impregnates high school

2008-06-20T13:35:00.004-04:00

I saw that story when it broke yesterday and my reaction was, what is really going on here? I thought the point of sex education was to teach people to have safe sex but also warn people about teenage pregnancy. Instead it appears that they went the opposite way here in terms of teaching the dangers of teenage pregnancy. I've heard of people who wanted children very badly, I don't have any problem with it. I've even heard teenage girls saying they want to have a child, but it was rare. This entire situation seems counter intuitive and counterculture to the direction society has been going here in the US. I'm all fine with counterculture in small doses but I sort of draw the line when it drastically impacts not just your life but your family's lives, and in this case the life of your soon to be born child.

It's not a fad or a cry for attention which is what this story seems to imply. If you don't have any friends go out for the rugby team or something, I hear the AV club sports a sufficient number of people who don't have anyone to love them, why don't you go hang out with them? But don't sleep with a cast out ex-pro football player who doesn't pay child support for all the children he's already fathered. That's just bad judgement, you're not gonna have a good time.

Girls Gone Retarded

2008-06-20T10:40:00.000-04:00

If you haven't heard about this yet you are lucky because it made me want to cut off my penis. Why you ask? Well my penis may cause me to one day have a daughter. I know what yuo are thinking, little girls are so cute and you will love her like in that AT&T commercial. Well what if that little girl you loved decided that she and 16 of her friends should get pregnant at the same time, while 15 years old? What if she decided to let a local homeless man knock her up? How would you react to that? I could go one of two ways, neither of them are good. So goodbye penis, its been fun...

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/25272678/

Game 7 predictions

2008-06-18T09:50:00.003-04:00

The Lakers, having already been pathetically eliminated without so much as a whimper, will wash the cars of each Celtics player and then lay down submissively to provide a human bridge so that the Celtics players don't get their feet wet in their still moist driveways.

What this finals taught me was that the Atlanta Hawks is apparently a better team than the Lakers. The Lakers weren't really in the game starting with the second quarter, hey guys, wake up, IT'S THE DAMN NBA FINALS! PEOPLE ARE ACTUALLY WATCHING THIS SHIT UNTIL YOU WERE DOWN BY 30. People can praise the Celtics for being very good, and they are, but what the hell happened to the Lakers? Did they all of a sudden forget how to play defense? Did Michael Jackson and his cadre of children promise Kobe some quality time? Did they all of a sudden decide that, hey we haven't been embarrassed on national television enough, let's go out there and get blown out so badly that it looks like we didn't belong in the same building. God bless the NBA marketing team for trying to hype this match up, trying to reach back and recapture all the history this rivalry has meant. This rivalry is effectively nothing more then media hype anymore, NONE of the games were great, very few of them were even halfway interesting. What the heck happened to the Lakers? You beat the Spurs and yet you get dominated by the Celtics.

Game 6 Prediction

2008-06-17T18:52:00.003-04:00

Not that anyone cares or actually reads this blog, which they don't, but I would like to weigh in on tonights Game 6 in the NBA Finals.

My on the record pick is....Celtics 106 - Lakers 95

Too much rebounding, defense and Paul Pierce. Also, I have a feeling Kevin Garnett's dead body will wake up and remember that he is supposed to be better then PJ Brown at this point in his career.

Lastly, Kobe is a kid toucher.

But why stop the savings there?

2008-06-17T18:44:00.003-04:00

Think about it Marty, there are so many people out there preaching fiscal responsibility when it comes to conserving the worlds limited supply of fine champaigne. Unlike those frivilous bastards in Indycar and the F1 series NASCAR is the picture of conservation. The only champaigne they pop after a win is the champaigne of beers (bonus points if you know the brand). Honestly they are amazing, they turn 1 pair of jeans into 3 pairs of jorts and use the savings to buy dip and new boobs for their women. I love every second of it and want some of that action.

Another way to look at this phenomenon is to look at teams who try to suck in order to prevent such celebratory bruhaha. Prime examples are your Kansas City Royals, LA Clippers, etc. By putting together rosters with no hopes of winning the owners can sit back and laugh all the way to the bank with the money they will not have to spend on champaigne. That is unless they buy some Andre to celebrate breaking .500.

New Precedent in Financial Savings for Athletes

2008-06-17T12:06:00.001-04:00

So the great news this morning is that there was finally a case of a professional athlete practicing some fiscal responsibility. According to this story Javon Walker (WR, Oakland Raiders) was beat up last night and found unconscious on a street off the Las Vegas strip. But that's not necessarily the good news for Javon. The good news is that on Sunday night Javon was apparently spraying Dom Perignon Rose champagne all over the place at the Wynn hotel. This has led several pundits and peers to wonder why the hell he was spraying less expensive champagne around a nice hotel, one source was cited as saying, "Yo man you gots to have that Cristal when you are wetting them bitches down." However some financial analysts are praising Javon's choice of champagne, citing the massive savings he benefited from by choosing a less expensive champagne to waste by spraying all over one of the nicest hotels in Vegas which probably charged him for the damages. One analyst said, "Well, I guess if you are going to wet down an entire section of an expensive hotel with champagne, I'd hope you were using a less expensive champagne, I mean how frivolous was he trying to be? It's not as if he's driving a Rolls Royce Pickup truck or anything."

The information of Javon's tremendous fiduciary responsibility has spread like wildfire thought financial services brokers in the country, specifically those who service professional athletes. They are now telling all clients to switch to cheaper spraying champagnes when holding a victory celebration and at times when it becomes necessary to spray a bunch of women with said champagne. How was this cost cutting measure not implemented earlier? This oversight seems almost unforgivable, and it seems likely that many will be switching financial specialists after this new discovery, especially NASCAR team owners (except for Petty Enterprises who cited the fact that they never have to use champagne and thus would not incur any cost savings).

So bravo Javon, you've inspired rapid change and widespread news of how to correctly bathe people in champagne. However you haven't been able to revolutionize the "let's get beat up for putting ourselves in a dumb situation" contingency plans. As another writer said, "When you are that stupid to put yourself in bad situations when you have just signed a massive new contract and are coming off of an injury you deserve everything that happens to you." I for one couldn't agree more. I guess what Javon losses in common sense and life lessons, he makes up for with wise financial planning and decisions.

Marty Jenkins
Financial Analyst

The Excellence of Execution

2008-06-17T10:56:00.004-04:00

Rocco did choke, but can you really fault him for it? The pressure must have been crushing, both all the way through the playoff and the entire Open. For goodness sake the man mouthed "come on drop" before/during Tiger's second to last putt. It must have been emotionally draining for Rocco, not to mention the physical strain of wearing that sweater vest. But we should all feel sorry for Tiger and his knee since all he has going for him now is his billion dollars, legions of adoring fans, 14 major championships, and at the end of all that he has to go home to his physically perfect wife (who as my colleague stated, is in fact the ugly twin). Rocco hopefully will continue to be a mainstay at major tournaments, the guy gives great interviews.

Vince McMahon and his organization are facing the same problems that many long running soap operas, daytime television shows, and Law and Order are facing. How do you keep the stories fresh and interesting? This is especially true with professional wrestling where there hasn't been any real new conventions for maybe a decade or more. The stories repeat themselves in cycles, and at this point Vince needs to fire the writing staff and start anew. Like the Batman movie franchise they just need to completely reinvent themselves. Get back to basics, back to what made professional wrestling great, good wrestling. All the gimmicks and stories in the world don't have as much draw as a technically proficient (read: perfect) match between two wrestlers. Let's see some matches end the way matches are supposed to end, not with the ref getting knocked out, not with outside interference, but with one man laying on top of the other for a three count after a devastating finishing move. Let's resurrect the corpse of Curt Henning and get Bret Hart out of retirement and let's see some perfect wrestling (from Mr. Perfect and "The best there is, the best there was, and the best there ever will be"). Without great technical matches I just don't care (I also haven't watched wrestling consistently for 10 years or so) I'd rather watch American Gladiators while drinking my Bud heavy.

And so it begins....

2008-06-17T10:05:00.000-04:00

So a little recap of day 1 on our blog... Tiger wins (surprise, surprise), Bud is good (a commonly known fact) but not as good as when Dale Jr. endorsed it, and Vince McMahon is crazy. Wait we didn't talk about Vince McMahon yesterday? Oh that's right, I got lazy and didn't post anything like I was supposed to. Well using my magical powers of greatness I am just going to pretend that I did and you are going to have to deal with it. Anyway back to Vince. I wonder what the meeting with his family was like when he decided he was going to give away millions of his own money to people watching his show because no one in fact was watching his show anymore. It makes perfect business sense. You get people to turn into a wrestling program to win money, you barely show any wrestling, like maybe 3 matches in 2 hours of television, and then you expect them to stick around after you stop giving money away. Lets hope that cash come with a lot of cold Bud's and maybe a Diva. One last thing, how long do you think it will take these people to blow through their newly found wealth? A day? A week? What is the over under on the number of male winners that end up at a strip club or blowing it on an escort service? I am going to set the line at 4.

As for Tiger, he is great and he won hooray hooray. But let me be the one to say what no one else wants to say, Rocco choked. That is how El Tigre won, not because of his greatness. Rocco had several putts to close him out on both days and choked but he is a nice guy and Tiger is a bizzillionaire so everyone will ignore that fact. Whatever, he still married the ugly twin....

Bud is good, but now I'm Amp'd up! (Think the NASCAR marketing got to me?)

Oh Tiger

2008-06-16T15:17:00.003-04:00

I, like many people have to work today instead of going to watch Tiger Woods and Rocco Mediate play their 18 hole playoff. It's being played at Torrey Pines, which is a couple miles down the road from where I live now, and Tiger and Rocco are currently tied through 14 holes after Rocco has come back from being two strokes down. I'll be happy of the outcome regardless of who emerges as the winner. I love Tiger, just like 95% of all American Non-Racists (ANR's), but Rocco gives very entertaining interviews and he seems like a really decent guy. Plus there's always the soft spot I have for the underdog.

What does bug me a little bit is how much people are making out of Tiger's injured knee. I mean he had a minor knee surgery and now people are acting like he's playing with several bullet wounds and one of his legs cut off. Not to take anything away from Tiger, it's very hard to perform like he has after knee surgery, and he is by far the world's greatest golfer in my opinion. Greatest of all time, he has to beat out more golfers from more places then Jack Nicklaus or any of the other greats did. But golf isn't a terribly physically demanding sport (paging John Daly). Most professional athletes that have had this same operation done are normally back in 6 weeks or less, most of them play sports like football, soccer, or basketball. All of which are sports which are much more demanding one the knee joint than golf.

I wish Tiger luck, he deserves everything he has worked so hard to get. The man is apparently a workout machine, some kind of monster in the gym. Who knows he might even win another major today (although he's now losing by one stroke through 15). Is Tiger playing well for having had a minor knee surgery two months ago? Yes, he's playing like he's the best golfer in the world (which he is). But he's not blocking, or pushing, or jumping over 300 lbs. men who's only job in the world is to beat your ass. He's not jumping in the air to try and stop one of the best athletes in the world from dunking on him, or breaking his ankles trying to stop a crossover dribble. He's also not running as hard as he can for 90+ minutes while cutting and kicking constantly.

Hail to the King Baby

2008-06-16T11:33:00.001-04:00

We've decided to co-author a blog, and I'd like to start it off by allowing everyone to gaze into the infinate wisdom of my co-author with a comment he gave me this morning:

Me: "I think I may stop drinking again. I had a hangover all day when I drank the equivalent of 3-4 beers. Just completely ridiculous."

Him: "That is sad Marty, you are better then that. Go back to the King, he will never steer you wrong and has a taste that won't leave you banged up."

I should have thought of this earlier, Bud heavy has never steered me wrong. That and it's a meal in a can, how do you bea that? Truly it is the King of beers.